Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

missbiggles1

notanewuser wrote: »

It's the assumption that males keep their names and women change theirs. One would hope future generations wouod be a little less mysogenistic than those previous to them.

Lots of my generation (those who married in the 70s) didn't change their names - I'm amazed that the antiquated habit is still going on nearly half a century later!

tea_lover

Serendipitous, that's similar to how I view it - a childhood name and an adult name. Both mine in my own right. If I choose another name at some point that will be mine too. Maybe the more names you use the less you view it as important lol.

missbiggles1

tea_lover wrote: »

Exactly. I don't see either of the names I've used as belonging to men (and only borrowed by me). They're both MY name. I might change my name to something else one day, and that will be just as much my name too.

It's only a name, it doesn't define who I am as a person.

Well, it does define you as the wife of the man whose name it is - after all, that's the whole point of changing your name on marriage.

duchy

fierystormcloud wrote: »

Some very good points here.

It does strike me as odd however, that a woman keeps her married name when she was only married say 5 years, and they had no kids. And they were divorced 20 years ago.

As pbradley said, maybe they don't know how to change it, or just don't think to.

Oh really ?
Sorry to disappoint you but I'm completely aware of how to instigate a legal name change - I've had my married name for many years post divorce.

I did discuss with my son who was 7 when my husband and I split - and he didn't want me to change my name so I respected his wishes. He is now an adult but everyone knows me by this name so why would I bother changing it ? I have no emotional attachment to the name and certainly no petulant need to rid myself of it just because it's my ex husband's name - how chldish would that be (not to mention all the hassle and expense of new passport, new cards, name of my house deeds, insurances and on and on).

There's also the professional element if you have a reputation i your field changing your name can be detrimental if you sudddenly are known by another name (the same reason many married women keep their maiden name professionally if they have already progressed in their careers).

Really though it is quite extraordinary to me why you are so concerned about whether any women's name is the one she was born with, her ex husband's name or one she chose for herself and changed by deed poll. Does the origin of their name make any difference to you at all ? If it does perhaps you should be questioning why it does and if your preoccupation with other people's decisions that have zero impact on you (and aren't any of your business anyway)is entirely healthy.

Like Serendipitous my married name was easier to spell and pronounce for other people than my maiden name - and even though I asked my son's school to call me Ms and not Mrs they used to call all the Mums Mrs (chlid's surname) regardless of if it was Mum's surname or not anyway -so in that enviroment changing my name wouldn't have made a difference anyway unless I had also changed my son's surname too which I wouldn't have dreamed of doing

tea_lover

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Well, it does define you as the wife of the man whose name it is - after all, that's the whole point of changing your name on marriage.

No one in my life now (apart from three close family members) even know I was married. I've had colds that have lasted longer. It's just my name.

duchy

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Well, it does define you as the wife of the man whose name it is - after all, that's the whole point of changing your name on marriage.

Most women I know don't think the man they share a bed with defines who they are.

Person_one

missprice wrote: »

Well I have kept my married name for over 20 years now, mainly because its easy/simple/ and 5 letters long. My maiden name is foreign 10 letters long with a space, 2 capital letters and 15 ways to pronounce. It also has to be spelled out every time someone hears it and there is always a conversation about what it means, how I got it and where is it from ( Belgium)

Your birth name sounds far more interesting!

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Well, it does define you as the wife of the man whose name it is - after all, that's the whole point of changing your name on marriage.

Not if you use Ms.

I don't like name changing on marriage either, but once that's your name however it came about, it's yours.

POPPYOSCAR

tea_lover wrote: »

No one in my life now (apart from three close family members) even know I was married. I've had colds that have lasted longer. It's just my name.

Do you call yourself Mrs or Ms?


I have always called myself Ms.

missbiggles1

duchy wrote: »

Most women I know don't think the man they share a bed with defines who they are.

Of course not but there's a big difference between sleeping with someone and marrying them!

But anyway, I didn't say that taking someone's name on marriage defines who you are in your whole self but it clearly defines the fact that you've married this man or why would you do it in the first (or second) place?