Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

jaylee3

JMO, but I would get pretty offended if people kept referring to me a Ms when sending written correspondence. I am married, and wish to be addressed as 'Mrs husbandsname.'

I am also offended when people refer to me as my husband's partner. I am his wife.

*goes off in a sniffy huff!*

missbiggles1

Mojisola wrote: »

Why wouldn't they use Ms for all female correspondents?

They don't label male correspondents as married or single so why should they make that distinction for women?

At all the colleges I've ever worked, all the female staff were Ms unless they were Dr.

jaylee3

missbiggles1 wrote: »

At all the colleges I've ever worked, all the female staff were Ms unless they were Dr.

Any college I ever had any contact with seemed to refer to people by their first name. (Occasionally Miss or Mrs.. Rarely Ms, if ever.) However, everyone I have known at any schools were Mr or Mrs Or Miss. I have known very few people who are Ms.

jaylee3

Mojisola wrote: »

They don't label male correspondents as married or single so why should they make that distinction for women?

Does it really matter? :huh:

It's like the women complaining about the ex wife of their husband still using "his" name, and getting annoyed about it. So what?!

Georgie's post was brilliant actually, especially when she said that the married name isn't just HIS; it belongs to HER now too.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

What a total pile of tosh that was! :rotfl: If that's all you've got to worry about then thank your lucky stars!

First off, it isn't just his (the ex husbands) name, it is as much her name now as it is his, and if she wants to keep on calling herself that, then that's up to her, her business and no one else's. She's obviously got her reasons, of which there could be many, but I'm pretty sure the reason of pretending she's still married to him is not one of them!

It all sounds very caveman like "he's myyyyy man now, not yours!"

Also, I think complaining about the ex still using your husband's name isn't only 'very caveman like;' it also makes the woman sound possessive, insecure, and a bit childish.

Re the OP, I do also wonder why a woman who was married for 5 minutes and had no kids with her husband would keep his name.. But each to their own eh?

Pollycat

jaylee3 wrote: »

JMO, but I would get pretty offended if people kept referring to me a Ms when sending written correspondence. I am married, and wish to be addressed as 'Mrs husbandsname.'

I am also offended when people refer to me as my husband's partner. I am his wife.

*goes off in a sniffy huff!*

TBH, I wouldn't give a toss how somebody or company addressed correspondence to me.

I also wouldn't care if someone referred to me as my husband's partner.
I know I'm married, if somebody else doesn't, is it really that big a deal?

Jeez - these are just names.

Are so many people so insecure that things like this are so important to them?

jaylee3

Pollycat wrote: »

TBH, I wouldn't give a toss how somebody or company addressed correspondence to me.

I also wouldn't care if someone referred to me as my husband's partner.
I know I'm married, if somebody else doesn't, is it really that big a deal?

Jeez - these are just names.

Are so many people so insecure that things like this are so important to them?

Each to their own. It's just my opinion. Nothing to do with 'insecurity.' I prefer to be called MRS as I am actually married. Why call someone who is married 'Ms'? Same with a single woman for that matter... She is a Miss not a Ms.

JMO.

But yes, you're right that people do make a fuss out of very little. We are all guilty of it at some point. Including me.

TBagpuss

jaylee3 wrote: »

JMO, but I would get pretty offended if people kept referring to me a Ms when sending written correspondence. I am married, and wish to be addressed as 'Mrs husbandsname.'

I am also offended when people refer to me as my husband's partner. I am his wife.

*goes off in a sniffy huff!*

I think it depends on whether or not the corresspondent *knows* your preference. If you have told them that you prefer Ms (for example, if you have sent them coresspondence and signed yourself (legibly!) as Mrs, then it is rude for them to refer to or address you as Ms. If however they don't know, for instance because you've signed as "Jane Smith" then "Ms" is appropriate because, like "Mr" it does not make any assumptions about your age or marital status.

jaylee3

TBagpuss wrote: »

I think it depends on whether or not the corresspondent *knows* your preference. If you have told them that you prefer Ms (for example, if you have sent them coresspondence and signed yourself (legibly!) as Mrs, then it is rude for them to refer to or address you as Ms. If however they don't know, for instance because you've signed as "Jane Smith" then "Ms" is appropriate because, like "Mr" it does not make any assumptions about your age or marital status.

Good point.

I am sure people mean no harm, I was just giving my opinions/views/thoughts on the matter.

And on that note, I am off out to buy a few Crimbo pressies right now! :wave:

Mojisola

jaylee3 wrote: »

Does it really matter? :huh:

Yes, I think it does.

If the day ever comes when "Mr Jones (single)" or "Mr Brown (married)" is used to show a man's marital status in situations where it's irrelevant, then I won't mind being know as "Mrs".

missbiggles1

jaylee3 wrote: »

Does it really matter? :huh:

It's like the women complaining about the ex wife of their husband still using "his" name, and getting annoyed about it. So what?!

Yes it does.

Names and titles are important in most societies in both a symbolic and practical way. The day this stops being important will be the day that men are as happy to take their wives' surname as women are (still) to take their husbands'.