Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

tea_lover

Person_one wrote: »

Of course they don't, I never said they did, but that's still where the tradition comes from.

No one's denying that, but things change. Brides carried flowers for the smell, but no one now assumes a bridal bouquet means a lack of shower.

balletshoes

Person_one wrote: »

Men are still far far far far less likely to change their name when they marry a woman than a woman is to change hers when she marries a man.

I'm in my early thirties, and I know hundreds of women who've changed their name on marriage, about a dozen who've double-barrelled, a couple who've keep their birth name, and precisely one man who's changed his and he married another man.

I'm convinced that the lingering idea that marriage is a big achievement/indcator of success for a woman is a big part of it.

I'm not convinced of that (as I'm sure I've said before on this forum, I got married to cut through red tape) - I think its just because its still more the norm than not, for a woman to change her name on marriage in the UK, even these days.

I'm getting the impression from this thread, that those of us who have changed our name on marriage, are less bothered that we have done so (maybe because we don't consider it to be a big deal), than those who haven't. My name (whatever version it is) is a part of me. Its my name - the combination of my first and last names make it my name.

Serendipitious

And sometimes a name change isn't an option at all.

True story:

Friend of mine, surname Smith, married a guy whose surname was also Smith. On marriage, she just became Mrs Smith. She then divorced him and her name remains Smith.

So there's no way of telling whether she reverted to her maiden name or not...

In her case it's about as irrelevant and meaningless as it can be.

System

Well i kept my first married name as i wanted to have the same name as my kids and as much as i loved my Dad i wasnt keen on my maiden name.

If i'd changed it i'd have gone from.

Miss H
Mrs C
Miss H
Mrs L

Far too many changes in one lifetime.

Person_one

tea_lover wrote: »

No one's denying that, but things change. Brides carried flowers for the smell, but no one now assumes a bridal bouquet means a lack of shower.

Now they carry them because they look nice and add colour to a white dress.

Why are they still taking their husband's names en masse?

System

Why are they still taking their husband's names en masse?

obviously because they want to or they wouldnt would they? No one forces them to.

Person_one

Judi wrote: »

obviously because they want to or they wouldnt would they? No one forces them to.

That's no answer though, is it? Why do they want to? Still, in this day and age and in such vast numbers when so few men do?

System

My first step mum still goes by my bio dads surname, and its been about 15 years since they divorced. I don;t know why as i've never asked her (and we lost contact for several years). I'm sure she has her reasons but as his daughter i can't wait to be rid of his damn name so i don't understand why she kept it. That said my mum went by his name too until she married my (step)dad.

POPPYOSCAR

Person_one wrote: »

That's no answer though, is it? Why do they want to? Still, in this day and age and in such vast numbers when so few men do?

Perhaps because it makes them feel 'married' and/or it is the conventional thing to do?

Lily-Rose_3

Women change their name (to the husband's) when they get married because it's tradition, and because they want to.

Why do some people think women are changing their name against their will?

The women who think this is the wrong thing to do, seem to have a stick up their nose about women who DO change their name to their husband's name; like they have somehow 'failed,' and let the feminist side down; or that they're weak in some way... When in actual fact, changing - or not changing - your surname, is nothing to do with 'feminism.'

As someone said much earlier in the thread; the people who did not change their surname seem to think they're better than, and more superior to, women who DID change to their husband's name.

They're really not.

And I still maintain that I don't know one single woman who kept her maiden name when she got married.

And that includes 'feminists.'