Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

madharrier

There can be many reasons, why a woman would want to keep the husband's name. If they have children, she may want to keep the surname her children have. If she has been working and made her carrier in that surname, it is difficult to change the name. If the husband's surname is famous or sounds posh, she may want to keep it...

missbiggles1

theoretica wrote: »

Historically, women remained Mrs Married after divorce - think Mrs Simpson. The marriage had happened, though now dissolved. If the marriage was annulled the woman would again be Miss Maiden. Women reverting to their maiden name on divorce is, like keeping a maiden name on marriage, a relatively new thing.

But then, traditionally, women were referred to as Mrs John Smith after marriage and kept this when widowed, although divorced women became Mrs Mary Smith after divorce.

ciderwithrosie_2

Never liked my maiden name so if I got divorced I'd keep the surname I have now.

Person_one

Jagraf wrote: »

Although at some point your maiden name is also a result of a woman taking on a mans name. Not that I agree it disagree either way, I'm just saying your maiden name is a product of a name change.

Again, the idea that women's names are just borrowed from men!

Torry_Quine

tea_lover wrote: »

Wow, that's patronising! There's many ways of being a feminist. The vast majority of people I know think a name is just a name. Some have changed on marriage, some haven't, some have both changed, some have double-barrelled.

Whenever this is discussed on mse it comes across that a lot of the people who don't change their name really look down on those who do.

ETA: in response to miss biggles

I agree. Being a feminist has got nothing to do with whether a woman changes her name on marriage or not. In fact it could be said that changing your name is a sign of being totally confident in your identity whatever name you have.:D

coolcait

It appears that I am from much the same generation as both missbiggles and Lily-Rose.


Their experiences seem to be very different from each other. My experience is a mixture of those two very different experiences!


Women I knew on a professional basis - as colleagues or clients or advisers - generally kept their own names when they married.


Women I knew on a personal basis - family, friends, neighbours - generally changed their name on marriage.


It's possible that those who were known as 'Ms Original Name' at work were also known to their family, friends, neighbours, gas suppliers etc as 'Ms Married Name'.


Whatever angle the 'Would you change/keep your name?" threads come from, my view is very much that it depends on what the individual wants to do. Not what everyone else thinks is the done thing.

Person_one

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I agree. Being a feminist has got nothing to do with whether a woman changes her name on marriage or not. In fact it could be said that changing your name is a sign of being totally confident in your identity whatever name you have.:D

You'll have to explain that one to me!

Changing your name just because you marry a man is rarely a feminist move, if ever. It's a hangover from the days when marriage was about transferring ownership of a daughter.

Now that same sex couples are getting married and coming up with all different approaches to names with no sexist baggage to deal with, maybe more straight couples will be inspired to move away from the old gendered norm.

carlislelass

I divorced but kept married name as I had children

onlyroz

It's just a name, and if you've been known by that name for a number of years I can see why you wouldn't want to change it again. My surname is my own now just as much as it's my husbands, and I don't see why that would change if we were to divorce.

missbiggles1

tea_lover wrote: »

Wow, that's patronising! There's many ways of being a feminist. The vast majority of people I know think a name is just a name. Some have changed on marriage, some haven't, some have both changed, some have double-barrelled.

Whenever this is discussed on mse it comes across that a lot of the people who don't change their name really look down on those who do.

ETA: in response to miss biggles

Mine was simply a statement of fact, not value laden.

In the women's movement in the 70s, keeping your own name on marriage (if you married at all) and using the title Ms were important and were quite revolutionary ideas. Not to understand that just shows an ignorance of the history of the women's movement, whether or not you personally agree with the ideology.