Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

theoretica

Just looking at the title of the thread again - keep their married name YEARS after divorce. If a woman doesn't change immediately there may not be a point when she gets round to it- it could be done any time, so why do it now?

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Mine was simply a statement of fact, not value laden.

In the women's movement in the 70s, keeping your own name on marriage (if you married at all) and using the title Ms were important and were quite revolutionary ideas. Not to understand that just shows an ignorance of the history of the women's movement, whether or not you personally agree with the ideology.

It's quite depressing that in 2015 it's still seen as odd to use Ms or question why so many women still take their husband's name on marriage.

onlyroz

Person_one wrote: »

It's quite depressing that in 2015 it's still seen as odd to use Ms or question why so many women still take their husband's name on marriage.

I changed my name just because it was what you did. If I'd have thought about it a bit harder I might have decided to keep my name, but to me it's not a big deal. It's just a name.

When I was at school there were a few female teachers who insisted on being called Ms - I think the rumour mill assumed that they were lesbians. Just goes to show how enlightened us East Yorkshire bods were in the 1990s :rotfl:

mumofjusttwo

I am divorced and I have kept my married name but call myself Miss.

I kept my married name as it is the same as my children and I do not want them to think there is anything wrong with their surname or them having their father's name.

gettingtheresometime

I changed my name when I got married not because my husband now owned me - don't ask me why I did.

When my mum divorced she changed her name to her mother's maiden name (don't ask me why) but kept the title Mrs.

missprice

Person_one wrote: »

Your birth name sounds far more interesting!

Its still European, Flemishy/Frenchy/Dutcy/Germanish. I don't recall what it means exactly. But when one has to say it, everyone repeats it differently, they all spell it wrongly and are amazed when I spell it out. Interesting is lovely till you had to explain this same thing 400 thousand times.:D

Torry_Quine

Person_one wrote: »

You'll have to explain that one to me!

Changing your name just because you marry a man is rarely a feminist move, if ever. It's a hangover from the days when marriage was about transferring ownership of a daughter.

Now that same sex couples are getting married and coming up with all different approaches to names with no sexist baggage to deal with, maybe more straight couples will be inspired to move away from the old gendered norm.

I'm not saying that changing your name is a feminist move. I think that if someone is confident of who they are then whether they change their name or not they can still be a feminist. Changing your name doens't mean that you can't be a feminist.

theoretica

I read something that pointed out that men tend to be more attached to or identified with their surnames, and women to their first, though this is changing towards first names for everyone now. Obviously not at all hard and fast. If you needed to sign or mark something with one letter initial which would you choose, first or last?

tea_lover

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I'm not saying that changing your name is a feminist move. I think that if someone is confident of who they are then whether they change their name or not they can still be a feminist. Changing your name doens't mean that you can't be a feminist.

Precisely. It's just a name, it doesn't denote ownership in this day and age any more than getting married in itself does.

duchy

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Hi Miss B.

I am roughly your generation (I was born in the early 60s,) I married in the 80s, and don't know one single woman who was in my generation who kept her maiden name when she got married. I especially definitely don't know any woman married in the 70s, who kept her maiden name. It was definitely not the 'done' thing.

How strange that you know many who did keep their maiden name. As I say, I don't know anyone at all; especially not from people married in the 70s and 80s. I would have thought that maybe a woman who was say in her 30s and was a professional (like a solicitor or suchlike) may have wanted to keep her name, but that would have been rare in those days.

Not sure why you know many, and I know none...Maybe it depends on where you live?

t.

I don't think it's regional
I'm from the same era and all of the women I know of the same age bar one changed their name at least in their personal lives upon marriage (a few became Mrs XXX outside of work but continued to use their maiden name professionally).