Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

Kynthia

Person_one wrote: »

That's no answer though, is it? Why do they want to? Still, in this day and age and in such vast numbers when so few men do?

Because women are more selfless and will be the one to compromise in order to have a "family" name? Because they want the same name as their children and they know that giving them their surname will cause marital discord and be massively commented on because of how unusual it is?

I personally believe that at least half of women marrying today struggle with the decision of whether to change their name on marriage. Many of these do it anyway, some keep their name and some couples (or just the women) double barrel. I just wish more men were prepared to change to their wife's surname.

Person_one

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

My first step mum still goes by my bio dads surname, and its been about 15 years since they divorced. I don;t know why as i've never asked her (and we lost contact for several years). I'm sure she has her reasons but as his daughter i can't wait to be rid of his damn name so i don't understand why she kept it. That said my mum went by his name too until she married my (step)dad.

You could change your name tomorrow if you don't like it.

pigpen

Kim_kim wrote: »

Maybe I need to get married again!

That's what I'm kind of hoping for.. OH is useless.. nearly 7 years together and I'm still not good enough



My daughter couldn't sensibly take her OH's surname if they married 'Lily Lill' ... sounds like a Marvel character!

Lily-Rose_3

pigpen wrote: »

That's what I'm kind of hoping for.. OH is useless.. nearly 7 years together and I'm still not good enough

Awwwww Pigpen. ((((((HUGS))))) :kisses:

POPPYOSCAR

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Women change their name (to the husband's) when they get married because it's tradition, and because they want to.

Why do some people think women are changing their name against their will?

The women who think this is the wrong thing to do, seem to have a stick up their nose about women who DO change their name to their husband's name; like they have somehow 'failed,' and let the feminist side down; or that they're weak in some way... When in actual fact, changing - or not changing - your surname, is nothing to do with 'feminism.'

As someone said much earlier in the thread; the people who did not change their surname seem to think they're better than, and more superior to, women who DID change to their husband's name.

They're really not.

And I still maintain that I don't know one single woman who kept her maiden name when she got married.

And that includes 'feminists.'

I do not think it is the wrong thing to do if that is what someone truly wants to do, it is just not for me, but then we only got married for financial reasons.


If I had got married much younger I probably would have done it and had the traditional wedding etc.


When we had our children it was my 'gift' if you like to give them his surname as it was important to him. It never ever presented a problem me having a different surname to them.

SingleSue

I stil use my married name, I've had it longer than my maiden name and it is my identity (winds up ex husband's new wife though :rotfl:). It is also the same name as our children and caused less confusion than using a different name to them whilst they were at school.

My maiden name is actually not bad, eldest son has now double barrelled it with the family name.

I still use Mrs too, I cannot bear Ms and I can't identify with being a Miss as I was married for so long.

I was Miss D for 19 years, I have been Mrs E for nearly 27 years (well not actually those letters, hidden my real ones just in case!)

onlyroz

Person_one wrote: »

That's no answer though, is it? Why do they want to? Still, in this day and age and in such vast numbers when so few men do?

We do it because that's what's always been done and it's what society expects. Most of us don't analyse the decision in great detail or get too stressed about it.

If I was getting married now for the first time I might want to keep my maiden name. But I got married at 22 when I was far more foolish than I am now. I do know hubby would have been upset if I'd insisted on keeping my maiden name, but I don't think he would be able to clearly enunciate why.

duchy

Person_one wrote: »

That's no answer though, is it? Why do they want to? Still, in this day and age and in such vast numbers when so few men do?

Why do you care ? It makes absolutely no difference to you so what does it matter ?

Maybe as fewer people now get married it's a way of showing they have made a legal and binding commitment rather than just shacking up - who knows - who cares !!!

I know a girl who changed her name legally from something quite normal to something qute hippy and out there. It doesn't change who she is- she's still the same lovely gorgeous girl she always was - she has just chosen to be known by the name she prefers.

I hadn't even thought if I'll change my name when I remarry. I actually prefer my current (ex husband's ) surname to my finance's surname so it'll probably come down to if it matters to him or not -It probably will so I'll use it in our personal lives - but may not bother changing it at work. It in no way defines who I am as a person so it'll solely be down to how my intended feels about it. If it bothers him then I'll go through the faff of changing all my ID -if it does't won't.

Mrs_Ryan

duchy wrote: »

Plenty of women who are married and had no previous sexual partners who would disagree with that !!

Actually the thing I've always found really odd is women who dont/won't marry their partner but change their name by deed poll to theirs (when their is no legal impediment to the couple marrying).

Some people don't want/need marriage - fine- but why mimic it by changing your name as per the marriage convention (or sometime convention) if you don't believe in marriage . That one baffles me.

Ok I guess I you will think I'm odd then. I changed my name by deed poll and double barrelled it with my partner's. I really want to get married- partner wants commitment but not marriage as his parents marriage broke down so acrimoniously. I wear an Irish Claddagh ring on my left hand ring finger (both from Irish families) and have his surname but I'm adamant my title is, and will remain until I marry, Miss. None of this Ms caper for me and I know some women call themselves Mrs when they aren't married- not me though, I think that's quite strange.
My sister divorced and remarried but still mostly uses her old married name as it's the same as her two sons. The oldest has no time for his Dad and as he will be 18 soon wouldn't surprise me if he changes his name of his own volition. However the younger one is close to his Dad and he's keen on keeping his name.

Person_one

duchy wrote: »

Why do you care ? It makes absolutely no difference to you so what does it matter ?

I care about everything that contributes to or is a symptom of continued inequality between the genders.

When the day comes that a man is just as likely to change his name as a woman is, I assure you I will stop caring!