Women who keep their married name YEARS after the divorce.

duchy

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Unfortunately, you may well be right, although that wouldn't've been as true in the 70s as it is now.:(

Really ?

You grew up in a very different 1970s Britain to me then !!!

pigpen

tea_lover wrote: »

Pigpen, you can call yourself whatever you want (so long as you're not doing it for reasons of fraud). As a free Christmas present to yourself why not just choose a name you like?

yes.. but what name?? they are all wrong and alien .. I simply do not want one..

mumofjusttwo wrote: »

I am divorced and I have kept my married name but call myself Miss.

I kept my married name as it is the same as my children and I do not want them to think there is anything wrong with their surname or them having their father's name.

My children want to change theirs too!! So mine agree there is something wrong with it... the vulgarity it came from.

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

It's quite depressing that in 2015 it's still seen as odd to use Ms or question why so many women still take their husband's name on marriage.

Anything outside the norm is seen as odd. Isn't that the very definition of odd?

Person_one

tea_lover wrote: »

Precisely. It's just a name, it doesn't denote ownership in this day and age any more than getting married in itself does.

It's a hangover from that time though, or men would be just as likely to change their name.

tea_lover

Person_one wrote: »

It's a hangover from that time though, or men would be just as likely to change their name.

Men do change their name (certainly among my friends). Many double barrell, and I can think of at least two couples I know who went with something new altogether. That's just among the mixed-sex married couples I know. Within the same-sex marriages and unmarried couples there's a huge variety of naming conventions too.

Maybe it is an age thing. I'm sure those of us marrying in the 21st century just choose the name we prefer. The idea that it defines you or denotes ownership just isn't a consideration.

sillyvixen

I knew a lady who hated her very common maiden name. When she remarried several years after her first husband died she made her 2nd husband take on her married name as he had the same surname as her maiden name and she was not going back to it. (also her 2nd husband had the same first name as her 1st husband - caused some confusion for a few years).

Person_one

tea_lover wrote: »

Men do change their name (certainly among my friends). Many double barrell, and I can think of at least two couples I know who went with something new altogether. That's just among the mixed-sex married couples I know. Within the same-sex marriages and unmarried couples there's a huge variety of naming conventions too.

Maybe it is an age thing. I'm sure those of us marrying in the 21st century just choose the name we prefer. The idea that it defines you or denotes ownership just isn't a consideration.

Men are still far far far far less likely to change their name when they marry a woman than a woman is to change hers when she marries a man.

I'm in my early thirties, and I know hundreds of women who've changed their name on marriage, about a dozen who've double-barrelled, a couple who've keep their birth name, and precisely one man who's changed his and he married another man.

I'm convinced that the lingering idea that marriage is a big achievement/indcator of success for a woman is a big part of it.

tea_lover

Person_one wrote: »

Men are still far far far far less likely to change their name when they marry a woman than a woman is to change hers when she marries a man.

I'm in my early thirties, and I know hundreds of women who've changed their name on marriage, about a dozen who've double-barrelled, a couple who've keep their birth name, and precisely one man who's changed his and he married another man.

Well yes, because change doesn't happen overnight. But I would wager that the female name-changers you know don't consider themselves possessions.

Person_one

tea_lover wrote: »

Well yes, because change doesn't happen overnight. But I would wager that the female name-changers you know don't consider themselves possessions.

Of course they don't, I never said they did, but that's still where the tradition comes from.

Kim_kim

I've been divorced about 3 years now.
My adult daughter still has my ex husbands (her step dads name). She is getting married in the near future, so I won't have the same name as her then.
My professional qualification is in my married name.
My maiden name was my step fathers name & I don't feel like I own that name. I only had my birth name as a baby so I don't feel like I own that either!

Maybe I need to get married again!