Can I Fix This?

Shineyhappy

Awwww you are a lovely sister! I am really pleased for your family as children must be such a blessing.

Hopefully within a year I should have cleared the OD and the two ccs, once that is done, I am going to start an ISA and overpay my mortgage. I am very excited about that. When I get paid and put in the money my lodger gives me, I am not overdrawn and that is a the first time in nearly 10 years I can say that! Yikes thats pretty shocking!!

ciarasdreams

I wish I was a lovely sister but unfortunately I seem to behave like a spoiled child when it comes to my relationship with my sister because all I ever seem to do is find myself in really bad situations that she always comes along and fixes out for me and tells me that everything is going to be ok and in return all I ever seem to do is take it all out on her. But I am finally going to have to grow up properly because I will have somebody small and impressionable that I will have to set a good example for and also because my sister will not have as much time free to devote to soting my messes out for me anymore.

Congratulations on how well you are doing with sorting out your finances because you seem to be doing a fabulous job of it.

Shineyhappy

I am sure that you have missed out all the times that you have helped her out too. Siblings squabble and bicker it is very natural and a lot of us were bratty when we were younger so I really wouldnt worry about it. It is very obvious you both love each other very much and thats what counts.

ciarasdreams

My very kind boss has let me finish work early tonight because I apparently look totally exhausted only he did not phrase it quite that nicely. :rolleyes: I managed to fall asleep last night face down on my lovely new computer that my sister bought for me and woke up late this morning aching all over with imprints from the keys all over my face and completely garbled teaching plans that I was supposed to have updated for the staff meeting this afternoon. :embarasse But I have done something good today and have updated my signature to include my last two sets of payments for both September and October which I had forgotten to do before and I am really proud of the results.

southernscouser

What was I saying about burnout? :rolleyes:

ciarasdreams

Probably that it is not a very good idea but I now have a time limit on fixing out my debts so I do not really have any other option but to work every hour under the sun and my sister did it for years and years and it never seemed to do her any real harm.

sammy115

please please please listen to SS. He is right - you are facing burnout.

Its all well and good to have a time limit on paying your debts but you face the risk of it all becoming too much and going on a 'bender' or having a mental breakdown. Believe me when I say i speak from experience, I have faced both over the last two years. All very good learning experiences and in my opinion you can tell people and hope they benefit from your experience, but more often than not they go the hard way.

You have paid £16,000 off your debt over the last couple of months. Most of the debts are with DM's and interest is not being added, why the rush to pay over the odds. And before you say, its only because of your sister that you have come so far, I think you are fighting with yourself on this one.

Your sister has helped you, and if and when in the near future she becomes a mum believe me she will need you more than you will ever think possible. Ususally the most capable people end up as gibbering wrecks when it comes to parenthood.

She is going to need a sister who is capable physically and mentally, so do not wear yourself out now.

BE kinder to yourself. You are not inferior to your sister just different. And the world needs lots of different people.

Ellidee

:T Well said Sammy

ciarasdreams

Thank you Sammy I know that you are right especially because I had a major episode of being a gibbering hysterical wreck in the early hours of thursday morning where everything that has happened over the last year seemed to get on top of me and I think that I reacted in such an irrational way just because I have been so tired and stressed lately. I called my sister and managed to sound like such a hysterical wreck that she took her husband's car which she says is much fater than her own one and managed to drive 150 miles to where I live in a very short timescale and has probably got herself a lot of speeding tickets as a result because I sounded so bad that I had absolutely terrified her and she is a dual trained nurse in both standard and psychiatric nursing so I dread to think how I actually sounded to her. She has been here since and I have had the last few days off of work and it has actually been quite scary having so much free time because I am so used to actually having none of it anymore that I am really not sure about what I am actually meant to be doing with it anymore. She wants me to move up to Scotland into their house for a while and live rent free so that I can just focus on my career and use my rent and council tax and water money and bills money to pay off my debts but I am really not sure if this is a good idea.

sammy115

If you are not sure its a good idea, then whats the rush......the right decision will be made eventually. What I have learnt over the last couple of years is to go with what you NEED to do in order to get through each day with your sanity intact, and not worry too much about the consequences. I left a job I absolutely hated at the drop of a hat (not without a lot of support from the MSE'ers on here) but walked into a new job the day after. If hadn't walked out I wouldn't be where I am today. If I had thought about it I would not have left because I had debts to pay, but the truth is I enjoy my job now and as a consequence have more energy to concentrate on trying to be debt free.

Your mental health is much more important than being debt free, although the two issues are very much tied in together.

Is moving in with your sister such a bad idea.... She may not worry about you as much if she sees how capable you really are and you may see the side of your sister that does exist, the one that makes mistakes, after all she is still human.......

That said I hope you start to feel a bit better having rested for a couple of days. Maybe a trip to the doctor would help?