Dad Is Leaving Me Out Of Will

Person_one

duchy wrote: »

I have to wonder if Matthew would socialize with any other people who made it clear they disliked his wife

Remember though, when women are in abusive relationships with men who try to isolate them from their friends and family, they are advised to try and hang on to their older relationships so they don't end up too reliant on just their spouse and don't lose those family ties. That could just as easily apply to a man.

Its not always as clear as cutting off family if they don't get on with partner.

TBagpuss

BlueLass - you probably won't be able to contest your Dad's will - any issue is determined based on whether he fails to make 'reasonable provision' for you and generally (although there have ben exceptions) it is reasonable for someone to chose not leave anything to an adult child, unless that adult child was being supported by them financially immediately before their death.

However, the law and how is it is interpretated does change and things may be differnt when your dad dies.

It would be open to your brother to enter into a deed of variation to share the estate with you, if he felt that was fair.

However, as this is not something which you an control I would suggest that you try to move forward wiothout dwelling on your dad';s behaviour. If this is a threat he holds over you then the most effective way of dealing with it may be to let him know that it doesn't matter - i.e. take away his power to hurt or influence you. If he mentions it, smile, tell him that of course he is enetiled to leave his money however he wishes, and move on.

It's not unreasonable for you to feel hurt by his rejection, but you don't have to let him know that he has that power to hurt you. *that* conversaton is one to have with your partner, or with a counsellor or therapist.

And try not to think too much about it. He may never get around to making a will a t all. He may end up in care and die with no assets. He may meet a new partner and end up leaving everythin to her, he may have a falling out with your brother and end up changing his mind again, or leaving eveything to charity.

In terms of the headstone, you don't have to contribute if you don't wish to or can't adford to,. You can, if you wish, offer a smaller contribution or chose your own way to mark your mum's life and passing.

suited-aces

MatthewAinsworth wrote: »

Well I think my dad does accept my partner but he can't really go against the rest of his family, and I don't want to split them up so I have to treat then as one. If it wasn't for that issue they have otherwise been supportive parents so its not an easy clear cut case of saying "that person is bad" and my dad especially is popular where I work - more so their inability to overcome their problems or to stand up to each other rather than ambush me, i wouldve hoped they wouldve done for me and which I certainly would do with my own son as I don't want history to repeat itself. I do feel fed up of being in the middle and expected to solve it when nobody will consider even meeting, have been tempted to kidnap them before and lock them in a room together. I definitely keep attempts to manipulate at arms length and I feel its high time one of them made the effort if they really want to see him.

Pollycat - I'll only even tell my son of what I've saved when I'm satisfied with his work ethic

Why aren't they extending the same courtesy to you?

System

Duchy -

My mum couldn't go to my nans, but I think that was more her choice.
K80 can sometimes be impolite and to make a long story short that's what annoyed the parents, I don't really care about it which is why I can get on with her and any rude people at work, but I'm not really surprised that people can't handle it and I don't always agree with either side so i just brush it off as silly

I'm guessing your son is quite young - as his father and role model -what are you teaching him about family dynamics and how to treat people by example ?

Too young to understand yet but will teach fairness and that you get more out of life and others by being polite. Impoliteness or overemotion or caring too much is a sign of ill mental health, and a healthy attitude will be a priority

POPPYOSCAR

MatthewAinsworth wrote: »

Duchy -

My mum couldn't go to my nans, but I think that was more her choice.
K80 can sometimes be impolite and to make a long story short that's what annoyed the parents, I don't really care about it which is why I can get on with her and any rude people at work, but I'm not really surprised that people can't handle it and I don't always agree with either side so i just brush it off as silly



Too young to understand yet but will teach fairness and that you get more out of life and others by being polite. Impoliteness or overemotion or caring too much is a sign of ill mental health, and a healthy attitude will be a priority

Caring too much is most certainly NOT a sign of ill mental health, do not understand how you come to that conclusion!

Pollycat

MatthewAinsworth wrote: »

Duchy -

My mum couldn't go to my nans, but I think that was more her choice.
K80 can sometimes be impolite and to make a long story short that's what annoyed the parents, I don't really care about it which is why I can get on with her and any rude people at work, but I'm not really surprised that people can't handle it and I don't always agree with either side so i just brush it off as silly

Too young to understand yet but will teach fairness and that you get more out of life and others by being polite. Impoliteness or overemotion or caring too much is a sign of ill mental health, and a healthy attitude will be a priority

Your wife can sometimes be impolite.
Impoliteness is a sign of ill mental health.
Do you realise that you've just implied that your wife has signs of ill mental health? :eek:

System

Poppyoscar - if you care too much about everything you'll be quite vulnerable and might melt down, don't recommend it

Nearly everyone has some sort of issue, i think earth is gods lunatic asylum/prison, where we're left to figure it out

Pollycat

MatthewAinsworth wrote: »

Poppyoscar - if you care too much about everything you'll be quite vulnerable and might melt down, don't recommend it

Nearly everyone has some sort of issue, i think earth is gods lunatic asylum/prison, where we're left to figure it out

I'll say one thing MatthewAinsworth - you seem to have some pretty strange views.

Pollycat wrote: »

TBH, the way this thread is developing, I think you need a thread of your own.

When did this thread turn ino The MatthewAinsworth Show'?

LameWolf

pigpen wrote: »

OH just read something to me...

Maple syrup is thicker than blood so pancakes are more important than family...

xx

I like that - shame I can't make pancakes!:D

My father told me donkeys years ago that I'd get nowt in his will. I subsequently (years later) walked away from any relationship with my blood relatives, and believe it or not, for a time I worried that he'd change his mind, or not have gotten around to amending his will or something at the time, and I'd have to refuse to accept anything of his.

Pollycat

Well, the OP hasn't been back to this thread for a while but is still busy posting on other threads (and starting new ones).