Wife cheating, just about to buy a house

moneyistooshorttomention

misspickle wrote: »

Thanks for that

43 on Sunday

That makes you in the age group where younger men eye you up hopefully - having heard all about "Mrs Robertson" and "best tune played on an old(er) fiddle" and hope to expand their education with you ....ahem;)

.....assuming you're still "in good shape".

Guest101

misspickle wrote: »

Thanks for that

43 on Sunday

Only as old as the man you feel....

DaftyDuck

You sure your wifey isn't simply hiding your Xmas present boxers under the bed? No, too simple, too... boringly simple!

You could, of course, dig out the Vaporella (was it the really amazing Polti Vaporella Forever 1800 Eco Steam Generator Iron, which is a very, very fine steam generator, or the lesser mere Vaporella 505... ) on Wednesday, and loiter around the bedroom wearing nothing but a bow tie, ironing said boxers on hottest cotton setting, whistling The Ironing Board Blues from The Waltons. Should she poddle upstairs alone, you could suggest that, as the under-bed area is really very dusty and (I make an assumption) you are no Godfrey Bloom, you should share the dusting of said area with a hearty afternoon of aerobic and steamy activities - for which you will not need the Polti Vaporella Forever 1800 Eco Steam Generator Iron.

However....

..... should she arrive, with paramour in tow, fix them both with a steely grin and unblinking gaze, whop her with the base (it's somewhat lighter; I have sensibilities when it comes to clubbing wives or seals) and him (an assumption again, I suppose...) with the Polti Vaporella Forever 1800 Eco Steam Generator Iron itself. Should you have economised, and only bought the Polti Vaporella 505 Pro Steam Generator Iron you may, I suspect, require two swift blows to render him unconscious (as it is somewhat lighter, and distinctly less well-made). Then, redress him in said boxers, and resume ironing on maximum heat (I believe there is only a 90g/min from that darn 505, whereas the finer Polti Vaporella Forever 1800 Eco Steam Generator Iron can sustain a ball-shrinking 150g/min - sufficient for even a Premier Footballer to suffer severe shrinkage).

To avoid embarrassment when your wife comes to (assuming you didn't reverse the whopping, and use either iron on her), you may prefer to dress beforehand. Keep the bow tie on for continuity (she will be confused) and dignity (a man should never iron sans bow tie, in my humble).

Now, when (if, I suppose) she comes round, she will be left with a stark choice. One, she may choose to side with her unhappy paramour who, by now, will have rather lost some of his appeal, and certainly much of his undercarriage. However, two, she will see you in a new light, a man who knows how to handle such a situation with finesse and elan.

I suspect she will ensure the under bed area never gathers dust again....

You aren't Godfrey Bloom are you? I'd hate to give such sage advice to such a ...

Johnnytwostep

misspickle wrote: »

Thanks for that

43 on Sunday

Sorry about that

big difference between you and the OPs wife......you are real and she is not so real.

Guest101

£5 to charity says the OP comes back saying he caught her after work today

mgarl10024

Guest101 wrote: »

£5 to charity says the OP comes back saying he caught her after work today

It's almost like you know too much. Are you missing a set of boxers per chance?

Guest101

mgarl10024 wrote: »

It's almost like you know too much. Are you missing a set of boxers per chance?

Well now that you mention it...


Thankfully, I'm a Kelvin Klein kind of chap

nearlysingle

Thank you for your replies. I think the thread is going off track, my fault I guess for trying to reply to everyone's replies in gratitude.

Back to the main question, if the house share is 50/50 in the new home and if the marriage breaks down, will the judge take into account the fact I have supported her for many years and given her things which now counts as her assets when apportioning the equity in the home?

nearlysingle

Walter230 wrote: »

Hello, cyberphonehacker gmail com is the best out here. He helped me hack my cheating wife phone. she was supposed to be in Canada working but instead she was cheating on me. Kindly tell him Walter reffered you to him. He'd help you

Not sure I need counter terrorism at this stage

cloo

nearlysingle wrote: »

I just accepted that it was a drunken snog. We got over this within a few months and she has been good as gold, though in most arguments I do throw it back at her. I think we felt the move would do us good.

I'm sorry but if this is how you handle a drunken snog then I'm not sure you're cut out for cohabiting in a place you both pay a mortgage on.