Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy a cheaper engagement ring?

happyinflorida

The questions being asked here remind me of a slimy git I used to work with. He met a girl, decided she was the one and planned the proposal. He proudly told us all at work how he'd found a really cheap ring but was going to tell her that it cost a lot more. I found this disgusting and when later I saw them out in the street I congratulated them on their engagement and asked to see her ring.

She had this obviously second hand ring on that the diamond (if it was that) was so small I could hardly see it! She then asked me what I thought of it as she wasn't happy with the size of the "diamond" and didn't think it looked worth the amount he'd claimed to have paid!!!!! lol She'd come to the right person as I wouldn't lie, I thought the bloke was horrible, he was always ripping people off if he could - so I told her the truth. I turned to him and said I'm not going to lie for you, I think what you have done is wrong and not the way to behave to someone you are meant to be in love with and want to spend the rest of your life with.

I left them arguing. He managed to talk her round but they did split up a couple of months later. I was glad for her as she seemed a nice person and I didn't think he'd make her happy.

Mr_Costcutter

Kernow666 wrote: »

makes me laugh people actually believe these blatantly made up moral dilemmas and reply thinking there answer will make a difference

I think we are all aware that this is cyber world and take many comments and scenarios with a pinch of salt. However, many problems presented do open up some very interesting discussions and also stimulate the grey matter

Pollycat

happyinflorida wrote: »

The questions being asked here remind me of a slimy git I used to work with. He met a girl, decided she was the one and planned the proposal. He proudly told us all at work how he'd found a really cheap ring but was going to tell her that it cost a lot more. I found this disgusting and when later I saw them out in the street I congratulated them on their engagement and asked to see her ring.

She had this obviously second hand ring on that the diamond (if it was that) was so small I could hardly see it! She then asked me what I thought of it as she wasn't happy with the size of the "diamond" and didn't think it looked worth the amount he'd claimed to have paid!!!!! lol She'd come to the right person as I wouldn't lie, I thought the bloke was horrible, he was always ripping people off if he could - so I told her the truth. I turned to him and said I'm not going to lie for you, I think what you have done is wrong and not the way to behave to someone you are meant to be in love with and want to spend the rest of your life with.

I left them arguing. He managed to talk her round but they did split up a couple of months later. I was glad for her as she seemed a nice person and I didn't think he'd make her happy.

I honestly can't imagine telling somebody my fiance worked with that I wasn't happy with the size of the diamond in the engagement ring he'd bought me and that I didn't think he'd paid as much for it as he said he had.

74jax

I got proposed to with an ice cream.... That I ate..... If she cares that much ask her to contribute.

You've already discussed it, discuss again.

So does she want a ring of a certain price, not a certain design/style.... I find that odd.

74jax

happyinflorida wrote: »

.

She had this obviously second hand ring on that the diamond (if it was that) was so small I could hardly see it! She then asked me what I thought of it as she wasn't happy with the size of the "diamond" and didn't think it looked worth the amount he'd claimed to have paid!!!!! lol She'd come to the right person as I wouldn't lie, I thought the bloke was horrible, he was always ripping people off if he could - so I told her the truth. I turned to him and said I'm not going to lie for you, I think what you have done is wrong and not the way to behave to someone you are meant to be in love with and want to spend the rest of your life with.

I left them arguing. He managed to talk her round but they did split up a couple of months later. I was glad for her as she seemed a nice person and I didn't think he'd make her happy.

I'm lost for words. He told her how much it was, ok he lied but he still told her?

She then told other people?

She told people she thought the diamond was too small????

Ridiculous.

fierystormcloud

Dadad wrote: »

I was such a poor student at the time that we couldn't afford an engagement ring at all, so just went ahead and got married. And she had to buy the £20 wedding ring. We still laugh about it 48 years later !

Well done for being married for so many years. However, I am struggling to fathom why someone would get married at ALL if they couldn't even afford a wedding ring? How on earth could you possibly afford the wedding if you couldn't afford to buy a wedding ring? Not to mention running a home/running a car etc etc?

aliphil

Bellisima wrote: »

My engagement ring was silver and aquamarine stone - a stunningly beautiful ring that was not expensive. I would never have insisted on an expensive ring. We were setting up home and had so much to buy that to pay a huge amount on a ring just wasn't an option.

Mine was a less-than-£50 job from H. Samuel. I chose it and still love it. My husband was a year off the end of his training then so wasn't well off, and I wouldn't have wanted him to spend much. We talked about me getting him a ring, but in the end I got him something else that he wanted more (and still uses). We split the cost of the wedding rings. I paid for the honeymoon though!

Beckyy

Who cares what it costs? It should symbolise your engagement not your bank balance.

AubreyMac

Petra_70 wrote: »

Why? ......

I don't like Argos jewellery for starters so I would question if he knew me well enough to marry me.

I would like my engagement ring to have a real diamond, if this is something I'm going to wear for most of my life I'd like something that'll last & look nice which I highly doubt can be brought for £20.

If £20 was all he can afford, I'd rather he spent it getting a tattoo with my name on - now that'll be a test of his commitment the sentiment is still there afterall.

Voyager2002

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I would say being a student counts as "extenuating circumstances":rotfl:.

Just remembering that most "people I knew" went to University (this being early 1970s) and a lot of them emerged at the end of that time with a degree certificate in one hand and an engagement in the other one so to say.

I'd forgotten that one rather - but still recall being surprised at just how many men were already "taken" when they emerged from University (as I'd assumed they'd still come out the end single and then I'd start dating in earnest so to say:rotfl:).

Why were you surprised?

I was at Uni around then: I recall that the application forms for graduate jobs all asked if you were single, ENGAGED or married, while the standard list of goods offered/advertised to students included "engagement rings for third years". In fact there was a bit of a mad scramble, as many feared that if you didn't get hitched before graduation you might get left on the shelf.