Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy a cheaper engagement ring?

benjus

Kernow666 wrote: »

makes me laugh people actually believe these blatantly made up moral dilemmas and reply thinking there answer will make a difference

Who cares if it's real? It's just something to spark a discussion. People clearly find it interesting to see others' views on a topic. No-one is forcing you to read it if you don't find it interesting.

duchy

Petra_70 wrote: »

I would literally boot any "friend" to the kerb, and kick her out of my life permanently if I knew she was judging my engagement ring. To judge someone on the size of their diamond (or sapphire or ruby or whatever) and the price the ring may have cost is pathetic and nasty. So woe betide anyone does that to me; they will get a barrage of verbal diarrhoea like they have never heard in their life! I can give as good as I get, and I would verbally tear them apart; them and everything they possess!

Well I wouldn't do that .....but yes I would drop them like a stone.
I wouldn't waste energy getting angry with them though as they'd be too shallow to waste my breath on.

Medway_Gal

My first engagement ring cost £79, we were cash strapped, it was the one I wanted, and I loved it.

30 years later and my new fianc!e proposed to me, offering to buy me an cz engagement ring for about £150, having just spent £600+ on apple products for himself.


Suffice to say I was not a happy bunny, not because I am a money grabbing b**** (he is currently living rent free in my house and driving my car to work, and has been for some years now), but I don't feel that he has considered my sentimental views to a piece of jewellery I intend wearing for the next 40+ years.

happyinflorida

Neither!

Why you are on here at all and not discussing this with your future wife I don't know.

Communication is important to a relationship working - you need to learn fast.

Pollycat

Medway_Gal wrote: »

My first engagement ring cost £79, we were cash strapped, it was the one I wanted, and I loved it.

30 years later and my new fianc!e proposed to me, offering to buy me an cz engagement ring for about £150, having just spent £600+ on apple products for himself.


Suffice to say I was not a happy bunny, not because I am a money grabbing b**** (he is currently living rent free in my house and driving my car to work, and has been for some years now), but I don't feel that he has considered my sentimental views to a piece of jewellery I intend wearing for the next 40+ years.

You are joking, aren't you?

You're not seriously considering marrying some selfish oik who spends 4 times more on himself than the woman he plans to marry?

And on top of that, he's living rent free and driving your car? And has been for the last 17 years?

And you say you don't think he's considered your sentimental views?
I don't think he's considering your views ar all.

Never mind the advice the OP is asking for, if I were you, I'd drop him like the proverbial hot potato.

happyinflorida

Medway_Gal wrote: »

My first engagement ring cost £79, we were cash strapped, it was the one I wanted, and I loved it.

30 years later and my new fianc!e proposed to me, offering to buy me an cz engagement ring for about £150, having just spent £600+ on apple products for himself.


Suffice to say I was not a happy bunny, not because I am a money grabbing b**** (he is currently living rent free in my house and driving my car to work, and has been for some years now), but I don't feel that he has considered my sentimental views to a piece of jewellery I intend wearing for the next 40+ years.

I'm with you on this. If you are serious about marrying this one can I please ask you to see a solicitor first to ensure you keep your house etc if you do split up in the future. Well done for not getting him to contribute towards rent/bills/etc as that would ensure he was entitled to a chunk if you later split up. Many people aren't aware of this in the UK.

Pollycat

happyinflorida wrote: »

I'm with you on this. If you are serious about marrying this one can I please ask you to see a solicitor first to ensure you keep your house etc if you do split up in the future. Well done for not getting him to contribute towards rent/bills/etc as that would ensure he was entitled to a chunk if you later split up. Many people aren't aware of this in the UK.

I don't think that Medway_Gal has made the decision not to ask him to contribute to household expenses. In the post below she says he is contributing to bills but nothing else:

Medway_Gal wrote: »

Make sure you get things sorted sooner rather than later. My BF moved in 17 years ago and he still is not contributing to anything other than bills (ie no payments towards my large mortgage), and doesn't see why he should.


On the one hand yes, it's my house and I am earning equity in my house, on the other-hand if he lives with me for ever, and we never move, he has then got a free roof over his head for life!


How is that fair?


If I didn't love the !!!!!! so much, I'd kick him out, but I do, so I can't.

Mr_Costcutter

I'm afraid your girl friend sounds extremely materialistic, and I would advise you to think twice before proceeding any further with this relationship. If she loved you with her heart - money would not be part of the equation.

paulaird

Save yourself a lifetime of grief and spend the money on having the snip instead.

You can get the snip free on the NHS!

Bellisima

My engagement ring was silver and aquamarine stone - a stunningly beautiful ring that was not expensive. I would never have insisted on an expensive ring. We were setting up home and had so much to buy that to pay a huge amount on a ring just wasn't an option.

I already don't like her, sorry. I have known such women who insist on huge spends, expecting their OH to cough up. Why would you want to put such pressure on someone you love? Selfish.