Blind date error

yvonne13_2

I joined a dating site not to long ago and I got talking to someone that seemed nice. On his profile was three photos, two of which had three men on them and one with a single man. The one with the sigle man was taken from a great distance so I couldn't really see.

I assumed he was the one in the centre of the photo which I now know was wrong. I did ask for if we could video chat, but he said his camera wasn't working and he had to get a new phone.I didn't question anything as I just thought why would someone make arrangements to meet if its not him.

Anyway ever since we met we've exchanged numbers and texted everyday on lunch break and also spoke everynight before bed. I felt a great connection and I really high hopes as we have a lot in common.

We arranged to meet at my favourite tea room which was his idea as he said he wanted me to feel comfortable and that earned him another tick in my invisible book. I was sat at the table when someone came and sat down so I told him I was waiting for someone when he said I was waiting for him and smiled.

It took me a minute, but I recongnised his voice. I asked him if he had used a fake photo and he said no. I got the photo up on my phone and I said you look totally different, he then poined out that I was looking at the wrong person and he was the one on the right.:eek: I was embarrassed and a bit upset with myself and he could tell I was gutted. He asked if I wanted to leave and I said no its fine. We did have a nice time and I still felt our connection was still strong. He even walked me to my car and opened the door for me and I did feel wonderful being treated nice.

He asked if we could meet up for Sunday lunch and I said I'll get back to him. This morning I woke up to such a beautiful text from him and it made me feel so good about myself, but I'm having doubts about my thoughts.

I was really attracted to the face of the other person in the photo as I honestly thought I was looking at him. I'm so torn what to do. It's my fault perhaps I should've asked which one he was in the photo, then again I question would I have even spent time communicating with him had I had all the facts.

What should I do?

DUTR

Only you can decide, it's not just some blokes do it, I've had some women put pictures up which are obviously years old and they look little like their profile picture, One date I spoke to said when her date arrived it was some young 20 year old lad of a different origin to that of the picture and description of an older person.
Me if there are multiple people in the profile picture then it's an instant swipe left.
Only you can decide, if he was OK after all then you could continue, but just watch out for further excuses and little lies.

FBaby

I don't want to be unkind, and in your previous posts, you came across as a lovely person, but this is showing you as quite shallow and I think your attitude to him when he showed up was quite rude. It is your fault that you started to fantasize about the wrong man, he did nothing wrong and didn't deserve to be greeted with such an attitude. If I was him, I would be the one questioning whether I would want another date.

When my OH got in touch with me and I saw his picture, I was really disappointed as I found him totally unattractive. Still I liked his profile, what he said in his emails, and our telephone conversations. Despite believing that I wouldn't find him attractive in real life anymore than I did his picture, I looked forward to meeting him. Add a few years and we are happily married and I found him the most gorgeous man I've ever met.

I think you need to move on from your fantasy and decide whether the person who has shown so far to be a real gentleman is worth getting to know better even if you have not be blown off your feet at the first meeting. Then again, it might be too late, he might have decided not to waste time and ask someone else for lunch.

FBaby

I've had some women put pictures up which are obviously years old and they look little like their profile picture

But that's not case here, OP just assumed he was the better looking one.

yvonne13_2

FBaby wrote: »

I don't want to be unkind, and in your previous posts, you came across as a lovely person, but this is showing you as quite shallow and I think your attitude to him when he showed up was quite rude. It is your fault that you started to fantasize about the wrong man, he did nothing wrong and didn't deserve to be greeted with such an attitude. If I was him, I would be the one questioning whether I would want another date.

When my OH got in touch with me and I saw his picture, I was really disappointed as I found him totally unattractive. Still I liked his profile, what he said in his emails, and our telephone conversations. Despite believing that I wouldn't find him attractive in real life anymore than I did his picture, I looked forward to meeting him. Add a few years and we are happily married and I found him the most gorgeous man I've ever met.

I think you need to move on from your fantasy and decide whether the person who has shown so far to be a real gentleman is worth getting to know better even if you have not be blown off your feet at the first meeting. Then again, it might be too late, he might have decided not to waste time and ask someone else for lunch.

I'm not shallow and at no point was I rude to him. I had a choice to walk off which I didn't do and neither did he. I was gutted within myself for not checking which one he was in the photo. I expained that to him and he understood. He has asked me out again so that isn't an issue.

What I'm saying is because I was looking at the wrong person on the photo I'm finding at a bit hard to try and picture him with a different face.

yvonne13_2

FBaby wrote: »

But that's not case here, OP just assumed he was the better looking one.

That's not true the guy that came was the better looking one.

missbiggles1

yvonne13 wrote: »

I'm not shallow and at no point was I rude to him. I had a choice to walk off which I didn't do and neither did he. I was gutted within myself for not checking which one he was in the photo. I expained that to him and he understood. He has asked me out again so that isn't an issue.

What I'm saying is because I was looking at the wrong person on the photo I'm finding at a bit hard to try and picture him with a different face.

But, now you've actually met him, surely the photo's irrelevant?

duchy

yvonne13 wrote: »

I'm not shallow and at no point was I rude to him. I had a choice to walk off which I didn't do and neither did he. I was gutted within myself for not checking which one he was in the photo. I expained that to him and he understood. He has asked me out again so that isn't an issue.

What I'm saying is because I was looking at the wrong person on the photo I'm finding at a bit hard to try and picture him with a different face.

Well you may not have thought that you were rude but I'm struggling to understand how @Oh I was expecting your better looking mate @ came across either kindly or politely. Perhaps you should put yourself in his shoes and think how you'd have felt in the same situation.

I don't see what your problem is.....You've met someone who seems very nice and there is some connection (the fact he has a mate who is off the market is a seperate issue completely)
Either you want to see him again or you don't.

duchy

yvonne13 wrote: »

That's not true the guy that came was the better looking one.

So what's the problem ?

I'm attracted to George Clooney - but he's not available - My OH looks nothing like him but we still have a fantastic relationship.

Either you want a real relationship or you want a fantasy - You prefer the look of the other guy - and that is shallow as you have no idea of anything about him except his looks- he could be rude, smell, be a serial cheat .......or just stand you up. Guy 2 has manners , seems to like you and wants to see you again (and presumably wasn't rude to you and doesn't smell) and you are grumbling that he isn't your fantasy guy.
Perhaps you are confusing on-line dating with on-line shopping ?

yvonne13_2

I think I'm scared more than anything else. My ex was more like the guy next door so I feel a bit out of my league with this guy.

Perhaps its just nerves on my part.

FBaby

I'm not shallow and at no point was I rude to him.

I guess it must depend on what we consider rude. Personally, if my OH had asked as as soon he saw me whether I had used a fake picture when I hadn't, and then taking out his phone to show me and made it clear he was disappointed, I would have found his behaviour extremely rude and I would have told him that there was no point in continuing with the meeting.

That's not true the guy that came was the better looking one

Yet were so disappointed that your face showed it all....