considering teenage children when moving

duchy

Peter333 wrote: »

No need to apologise to me.

You're entitled to your OPINION just as anyone else is.

And like the others on here, it is just that: an OPINION.

I have still yet to see proof that a college degree is not as good as an OU one. (Or one from another university...) I have put a link to say a college degree IS as good, but nobody seems to be putting anything to back up everything they are saying about a college degree NOT being as good. All I am seeing is a small handful of posters spouting OPINIONS with nothing to back it up.

I am not going to keep asking. You are obviously all unable to provide proof. I have better things to do than waste my time on here debating with people who keep presenting their OPINIONS as 'facts.'

Goodnight. :wave:

However my son DID start a college affiliated degree -and dropped out as the standard of teaching was dreadful . He recorded his lectures and I've listened to some of them - I've studied the same subject at degree level at a proper university (for want of a better phrase) recently so was well placed to compare . It was woeful.

With this experience combined with using common sense as what talented academic would choose to work at a college with no prospect of research recognition if they can find a job at a university that will it is clear to all but the most obtuse that the quality offered by colleges can never be as good as a university. They have their place - especially for mature students or indeed any student who cannot relocate or has low grades but it is like comparing a degree from say Oxford with a degree from London Metropolitan university (where over 70% students were dissatisfied with the standard of teaching).
No student in their right mind would turn down a place at Oxford in favour of London Met likewise they woudn't turn down a University of Kent place in favour of Maidstone college.

Perhaps the difference is I am speaking from actual experience rather than your theoretical assumptions though.

In the OPs shoes (dragging the thread back on topic) I'd not encourage my daughter (who is ambivalent at best about going to uni at all) to study at a local college at this point but wait - and maybe take on an apprenticeship for a year and then reassess. I'd also point out that many universities do have bursaries and additional funding and that may outweigh the difference in fees between college and uni also. Colleges have far less funding available for this . Who knows as the OP just fancies a change of scenery she might end up closer to a university than the college anyway

Yes it's all opinion - but some opinions are more informed than others !!

VfM4meplse

74jax wrote: »

Yes he isn't her dad, he's lived with us for 3 years tho and known her 10 years.

Put your child first for now.

Chopped liver will have his time when she gains her independence.

Jagraf

Jax - I have a daughter in lower sixth - she changes her mind about what she wants to do daily.

For now, sort her out. Support her n deciding what she would really like to do - work, year out, degree, degree at college etc. wait til she's settled in her next phase of life.

Then decide what you two want to do (you and OH). Fancying a change, with respect, isn't the priority for you until your daughter has decided (for your own peace of kind as much as anything else).

The finances can be worked out after she has worked herself out. All you are doing by deciding you fancy a change is making life complicated. Go on a nice holiday instead if you have itchy feet.

74jax

Read this thread with them all last night. Hubby agrees I probably am bored of the house. When we got married and he moved in I wanted to move then, I don't know why I just wanted a new home with a new family, but he and DD wanted to stay so I was out numbered. Instead we did some renovations, which I do love. When looking at houses now I tend to compare their kitchen and bathroom to ours now, I just love ours, and agree with DD it's silly to move to somewhere where we'd have to change the kitchen/bathroom to make it as nice as ours now. However I do still look, I come from an estate agent background so houses are just something I look at daily.

Hubby is easy either way, he'd move if i really wanted to but would much rather stay put for now. He has said in about 5 years he'd like ot look at being nearer the coast. 5 years at that is when DD says she'd ideally like to move out, she is looking at moving into our appartment in the city (hubby's old place he rents out at the moment rather than sell) and he thinks that's the ideal time to move. But..... why wait 5 years, if we see something now then it might not be there in 5 years.

Spoke to DD who wasn't keen on the idea at all. She said about her getting to work - I said she could used buses like she does now. Said she'd miss her friends - I said the majority were going off to uni next year anyway so wouldn't be around the same as now.
I also told her she's very near to passing her driving test and will have use of my car.

I do totally understand her reasons (and hubbys), and I can't just move when it's 2 against 1, especially when DD is so against it. Hubby says he would move if i wanted and DD would just come with us, but I don't want her to 'just come with us' I want her to be excited too.

I think I just want us all to WANT to move...... would be so much easier.....

74jax

Jagraf wrote: »

Jax - I have a daughter in lower sixth - she changes her mind about what she wants to do daily.

For now, sort her out. Support her n deciding what she would really like to do - work, year out, degree, degree at college etc. wait til she's settled in her next phase of life.

Then decide what you two want to do (you and OH). Fancying a change, with respect, isn't the priority for you until your daughter has decided (for your own peace of kind as much as anything else).

The finances can be worked out after she has worked herself out. All you are doing by deciding you fancy a change is making life complicated. Go on a nice holiday instead if you have itchy feet.

Funny you should mention a holiday. Very very off topic, my Dad died very recently and it's totally thrown me, I was always very stable, had a plan, very focused. Since then I couldn't really care less.

I'm looking at a big touring holiday next year which isn't really me at all. Maybe I should throw my energy into that - at least both DD and hubby are with me on this one.

Alikay

74jax wrote: »

Funny you should mention a holiday. Very very off topic, my Dad died very recently and it's totally thrown me, I was always very stable, had a plan, very focused. Since then I couldn't really care less.

Despite the main topic of this thread going in the direction of comparing Oxbridge degrees with ones from the local tech college, going back to your original post, I'd say this is the best reason not to move at present. You've just suffered a major bereavement, and, as you say, it's totally thrown you and your decision-making processes aren't working in your usual way. Unless you have a definite need to plan a move now, I'd say leave it a year or two until things have settled to a new normal. Your DD's plans may then be clearer and you can all talk about what you want and need from a relocation.

Jagraf

74jax wrote: »

Funny you should mention a holiday. Very very off topic, my Dad died very recently and it's totally thrown me, I was always very stable, had a plan, very focused. Since then I couldn't really care less.

I'm looking at a big touring holiday next year which isn't really me at all. Maybe I should throw my energy into that - at least both DD and hubby are with me on this one.

I think that would be good - focus your mind on something else to organise. You can move when things are a bit more settled. A holiday will do you good xx

Person_one

Alikay wrote: »

Despite the main topic of this thread going in the direction of comparing Oxbridge degrees with ones from the local tech college, going back to your original post, I'd say this is the best reason not to move at present. You've just suffered a major bereavement, and, as you say, it's totally thrown you and your decision-making processes aren't working in your usual way. Unless you have a definite need to plan a move now, I'd say leave it a year or two until things have settled to a new normal. Your DD's plans may then be clearer and you can all talk about what you want and need from a relocation.

Definitely agree with this, one of the pieces of advice I've ever heard was that it's not a good idea to make big changes or life decisions within a year of a bereavement.

Very sorry for your loss.

Georgiegirl256

74jax wrote: »

Funny you should mention a holiday. Very very off topic, my Dad died very recently and it's totally thrown me, I was always very stable, had a plan, very focused. Since then I couldn't really care less..

I've been reading the thread but didn't really have any advice to offer as such (hell, I don't know if a Uni degree IS better than a college one?!), but I just wanted to say, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad

I remember reading your posts where you mentioned how ill your Dad was, because at the same time, my Dad was too. We sadly lost him at the end of last year, and afterwards, (and still now to a certain extent), I had a very similar attitude to yours. I think it makes you focus on your own life and your own mortality and makes you think how you only get one life, so you've got to live it. Money and possessions don't mean as much anymore, family is what is important, experiences are important.

A piece of advice that a couple of people gave me, is not to do any big life changing things in the first year of a bereavement. Settle yourself for now.

Peter333

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I've been reading the thread but didn't really have any advice to offer as such (hell, I don't know if a Uni degree IS better than a college one?!), but I just wanted to say, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad

Well, it's subjective isn't it?

It's completely wrong to say that a degree from any university is better than one from a college. There are several colleges within 20-30 miles from me that are excellent, and a couple of universities that are dreadful. (I won't name them because it's unfair.) So to say that a degree from a university is automatically better than one from college, (or you will get more respect for it,) is just untrue.

Of COURSE a degree from Cambridge is going to be looked at more favourably than one from a technical college in a chavvy town. I didn't dispute that. What I was saying is that a degree from a college can easily be as good as one from from a university.

I didn't even mention Cambridge/Oxbridge. It's certain OTHERS on here who have been bringing them into the equation. Moving the goalposts and changing the argument to suit. I never even mentioned these universities; a couple of people have just brought them into the argument to point-score. I simply said that it's not automatic that a college degree will be worthless, and that it can be looked upon quite favourably by some.

And these posters are STILL just spouting opinions only, along with insulting me because my opinion differs from theirs, and they are STILL posting no proof!!! And thinking because 'they have experienced it' that it MUST be true for everyone, everywhere, all over the world.

There are several colleges in my county and the county that borders mine that do excellent degrees, and you will certainly get a lot more respect for your degree from there, than you will from the low graded university 25 miles up the road. It's so poor that it's not even in the top 150 in the league tables.

Of course a degree from a top university is going to impress people more than a degree from a local technical college, but to generalise and say that a degree from ANY college is never going to compare to ANY university degree is utter nonsense, because all colleges and universities are different.

As I said, there is no actual proof from anyone who is spouting all the hyperbole and opinions, because they are too busy insulting and berating me, and getting their friends to 'thank' their posts so that they look like they're more right than me.

Over and out. I am done on this thread. I think I've proven my point.