considering teenage children when moving

TBagpuss

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It's actually your husband whose responsibility it is to cover the shortfall, not her father.

As you say, off topic.

How do you work that out? Her step dad doesn't have any obligation to support her at all.

Person_one

TBagpuss wrote: »

How do you work that out? Her step dad doesn't have any obligation to support her at all.

Student finance is based on household income. Her stepdad's earnings would be taken into account when her entitlement to funding is calculated, not her dad's.

Although there's no mechanism to actually force him to contribute to make up the shortfall that would exist entirely because of his presence, you'd hope he'd realise there was a moral obligation.

But then, it sounds as though he's happy for his wife to struggle on a low income even though he earns 4x as much as her, so who knows?

74jax

pigpen wrote: »

She could go to a different college! Why not ask her opinion?? We don't care.. nor do we know if she would intend moving in with a partner or with friends in a shared house or whatever.. you need to discuss it with her.. We are thinking of moving what do you think/feel about it? obviously don't be dictated to by your child who wont be there much longer.. but even if you wait 3 or 4 years until she has finished at college then move would that really make a great deal of difference?

I'm thinking of moving to a bungalow and leaving the children in the house here lol.. I really wish I could sometimes!

I know you don't care, but was asking if you had teenage adults would where you move have any relevance on them. Would you pick where you wanted to move regardless and go.

I ask because I considered DD and hubby said we don't really need to and she moves with us.

It's interesting getting other views, I know half the time people will agree with you and the other half not, I like getting people's views tho... I'm weird like that.

GwylimT

TBagpuss wrote: »

How do you work that out? Her step dad doesn't have any obligation to support her at all.

He does, which is why his income is would be part of any student loan assessment.

74jax

missbiggles1 wrote: »

It's actually your husband whose responsibility it is to cover the shortfall, not her father.

As you say, off topic.

I've change my post to cover them both, best covering all sides

74jax

Person_one wrote: »

Student finance is based on household income. Her stepdad's earnings would be taken into account when her entitlement to funding is calculated, not her dad's.

Although there's no mechanism to actually force him to contribute to make up the shortfall that would exist entirely because of his presence, you'd hope he'd realise there was a moral obligation.

But then, it sounds as though he's happy for his wife to struggle on a low income even though he earns 4x as much as her, so who knows?

I don't struggle? I thought I'd said, I'm really quite content. Enjoy my family and life. Neither of us struggle, I'm sorry if I gave that impression.

Person_one

74jax wrote: »

I don't struggle? I thought I'd said, I'm really quite content. Enjoy my family and life. Neither of us struggle, I'm sorry if I gave that impression.

I wouldn't be content living with a man who was so unwilling to share, to the point that he'd happily see his step-daughter's future be affected by his refusal to contribute to her education.

With so much money coming into the family, cost shouldn't hold your daughter back at all. Shame one family member is hoarding it for himself!

pickledonionspaceraider

Your Husband is trying to move away from your old life, and build a new one - one that is not designed to fit around your daughter. He wants to build a future for you two

If I were you, I would hold off moving, I don't see there is any rush

If your daughter really wants to go to Uni, I think you should encourage it. she would get a student loan, and easy get a part time job - so any financial assistance from you really would not be that great - the odd few quid here or there or bag of groceries, which is not going to be any more than the extra cost of her living at home now. Student living can be great fun for some

Does your daughters dad help out financially for her? I know this wont be taken into account when she applies for a loan, it will be based on what you and your husband earn, but if she can come to a financial agreement with her dad too that would help

74jax

Person_one wrote: »

I wouldn't be content living with a man who was so unwilling to share, to the point that he'd happily see his step-daughter's future be affected by his refusal to contribute to her education.

With so much money coming into the family, cost shouldn't hold your daughter back at all. Shame one family member is hoarding it for himself!

But she doesn't want to go to university?? Why would he pay for her to do something she doesn't want to do? I dont understand sorry. Just because he can afford to, doesn't mean he should if it makes her unhappy.

Person_one

74jax wrote: »

But she doesn't want to go to university?? Why would he pay for her to do something she doesn't want to do? I dont understand sorry. Just because he can afford to, doesn't mean he should if it makes her unhappy.

Well, that skirts the real issue nicely...

However, you said you wasn't sure what she wants to do yet? University should still be very much an option.