Buffy's Savings Diary

badmemory

No problem - I won't post again - actually I won't read/follow again for obvious reasons. Good luck!

PS Your Mum is already showing signs of dementia if some of your posts are to be believed. You are setting yourself up to be the family fall guy. Time to put me on ignore - cos dementia is a !!!!!. Been there done that - not going there again. Again (& I really do mean this sincerely) good luck!

Buffythedebtslayer

Thanks.

Good luck too

badmemory

My need for luck has gone - she died last August. I just wanted you not to feel as I did when she finally went. Do you really want to say "I never shed a tear". No thought not.

Pooky

Regardless of what's gone before (when you genuinely did what you thought was best), it is really time for you to move on. You know that and now you're trying to actively make that happen. That's the most important thing.

One thing to remember is that most landlords will accept animals if you pay a larger deposit to cover any potential damage. If you're applying direct to an agent then ask them to pass your request to the owner, we rented for years and always managed to talk landlords into taking us on with cats. On the other hand most "no pets" means cats and dogs and not caged animals which to be honest I'd not bother mentioning. Yes I appreciate they're not caged all the time, do they do much damage now?

You've got plenty of funds behind you to pay the deposit and fees and you will manage on a monthly basis because you'll have to. It will be so freeing for you and allow you to have the relationship with your family that you want, rather than the one forced on you.

So you won't have much in the way of furniture to take with you.....plenty of places to check out for what you need, either 2nd hand of starter stuff from Ikea, it won't matter if you've got no sofa for a few months as long as there's a bed. I'm sure your friends can help with spare bits and bobs. I've got several bits I could bring up for you and would be more than happy to help you move.

We're all on your side.

in_need_of_direction

Buffy, you know my relationship with my mum is similar. At least I don't have to live with her. Why not think about re homing the bunnies? I'd stay while your mum is away, you'd worry about the dogs if you didn't. I'd also stick with the job until all the dentistry is out of the way but that's just me. I'm the type who needs stability to deal with non routine matters well. I'd also talk to a solicitor about the house. I think I've said before but in ni,anyone over 18 living in a house has a claim on it.
Families are nightmares. If only we could subtract the emotion and deal purely with practicalities, life would be so much easier.
Anyhow, whatever you decide, we will all be here cheering you on. Take care, you're still in recovery.

Buffythedebtslayer

Pooky, thank you for so much lately actually! means such a lot XXX

I read my diary last night - stayed up till 3.30! I started off really quite positive, but so much happened, my ankle (I forget till I read about how painful it was how bad that really was!and how much I couldn't do) having the hamster put to sleep, losing my lovely guinea pig, my teeth and the ongoing pain of that,getting back in debt, fitting in tutoring around the gp's illness and vets appointments, work stressed me out almost continually culminating in good old ofsted, my ankle screwing up half term, one aunt's diagnosis, my aunt's death, my friend dying, that almost broke me, tho I don't talk about much here. It was such a huge huge shock she was one of my first online friends from way back before even MSE! Loved her to bits. cannot believe she has gone. finding the lump. not telling anyone but you guys as my real life best friend lost her sister not long ago and I didn't want to frighten her. being frightened myself that it might be cancer. wondering what would happen if it was. the build up to the operation, having to tell work, the hospital rearranging, the strain of having everything prepared and then being there and having to do lots of other work too all before a very stressy end of term. End of term collapse via operation and recovery, that I don't recommend.

My friends are what got me through. The odd night out or chat or post here. Truly they - you are my family.

So I feel like despite the last few days I have done ok you know. So many changes, questions, fears and worries have come up on a monthly basis! So many feelings and situations to manage. I am ok. I did it! I am still here!

Buffy XXX

in_need_of_direction

You are and so much stronger than you know.

Buffythedebtslayer

Pooky wrote: »

Regardless of what's gone before (when you genuinely did what you thought was best), it is really time for you to move on. You know that and now you're trying to actively make that happen. That's the most important thing.

One thing to remember is that most landlords will accept animals if you pay a larger deposit to cover any potential damage. If you're applying direct to an agent then ask them to pass your request to the owner, we rented for years and always managed to talk landlords into taking us on with cats. On the other hand most "no pets" means cats and dogs and not caged animals which to be honest I'd not bother mentioning. Yes I appreciate they're not caged all the time, do they do much damage now?

You've got plenty of funds behind you to pay the deposit and fees and you will manage on a monthly basis because you'll have to. It will be so freeing for you and allow you to have the relationship with your family that you want, rather than the one forced on you.

So you won't have much in the way of furniture to take with you.....plenty of places to check out for what you need, either 2nd hand of starter stuff from Ikea, it won't matter if you've got no sofa for a few months as long as there's a bed. I'm sure your friends can help with spare bits and bobs. I've got several bits I could bring up for you and would be more than happy to help you move.

We're all on your side.

You really are very very kind. XXXXXX Like super kind.

I have a shopping list on the IKEA website That is really true about the deposit thing.. hmmm. My friend at work who currently hides her chinchillas in the car when the land lord is round has paid in the past for "potential damage". I didn't think of her till just now. Chinchilla in the car stories - highly amusing! She can't currently afford the extra on this (much nicer) place and so is winging but she has a boyfriend who distracts said landlord (sound like a carry on film......)

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Buffy, you know my relationship with my mum is similar. At least I don't have to live with her. Why not think about re homing the bunnies? I'd stay while your mum is away, you'd worry about the dogs if you didn't. I'd also stick with the job until all the dentistry is out of the way but that's just me. I'm the type who needs stability to deal with non routine matters well. I'd also talk to a solicitor about the house. I think I've said before but in ni,anyone over 18 living in a house has a claim on it.
Families are nightmares. If only we could subtract the emotion and deal purely with practicalities, life would be so much easier.
Anyhow, whatever you decide, we will all be here cheering you on. Take care, you're still in recovery.

I agree re job and dentist. I maybe agree re bunnies. I have noticed the current have a crate (dog crate, not beer crate) for the rabbits and slightly smaller cage for the now two gps works much better than anything I have tried. Also cleaning them out every second day works well too. this encourages the rabbits to go in one place so to speak, so I don't find presents everywhere. However much I am fond of them tho, they are difficult to accommodate fully and obviously take a long time to settle in new places(over a year!) As now they are in a routine I don't moan about nearly as much and we haven't had a near death experience in ages!

I am feeling much better than I have been. Am thankful for that.

and I going to post this as I am really hungry and need a shower!

XXXx

milasavesmoney

Sending great big virtual hugs to you!

It's good that you are thinking of exploring your options. That's healthy and could be something to look forward too.

Sun_Addict

Buffy my DS and GF rented a small house, scraping together the deposit. They have two cats, not meant to have pets in there but no one checks. I think you need to find your own place ASAP, ok so you can't buy but you could rent - for your own sanity. Big hugs from me, please take care of yourself, I'm worried about you at the moment xx