Buffy's Savings Diary

Buffythedebtslayer

So feeling slightly more with it I paid my bills

I am 4000 pounds in debt.

0% interest free CC

but that is ok. 8 more months and it will be gone. And I will have my fish pond and a nice garden and fixed teeth!

XXX

Pooky

I hope the migraine has done one now! When you're done with your pond, come build me one, it's been on my "to do" list since we moved in.

I waved yesterday - much to the amusement of my MIL who is now firmly convinced I'm losing it.

Buffythedebtslayer

Pooky wrote: »

I hope the migraine has done one now! When you're done with your pond, come build me one, it's been on my "to do" list since we moved in.

I waved yesterday - much to the amusement of my MIL who is now firmly convinced I'm losing it.

Thank you for the wave and the lovely card. XXX

I wave at people when their places are on tv.......i have lost it!

Buffythedebtslayer

Right.

1. Had an enlightening conversation with my dearest friend today. About pay. About how I am not paid enough (which is possibly true) and that maybe I should look for another job.


2. Then I had an awful humiliating conversation with Mum. My sister was visiting as she does every Thursday and normally I work late or am out as when ever it is the three of us Mum invariably puts me down or is unkind so as to show my sister absolutely that no one is favoured. This is a theory that myself and my older sister have come to use as Mum does it to both of us and middle sister's feelings are always kept safe and never hurt.

I don't want to write down what happened. Suffice to say I had a lovely day with my friend. and I thank GOD for my friends, I would have ended my life at times I think without them. The day was in part ruined however by this conversation with my Mum.

I went upstairs and searched out two one room flats (one for less rent than I pay now!!) and enquired but neither landlord would take pets.

So then I went on the Halifax website and discovered I am not able to get a mortgage. Not that that was a shock.

Across all my accounts I have nearly 10 grand. I know there will be a way. Just have worked it out yet.

beanielou

I have a spare room come Oct

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou wrote: »

I have a spare room come Oct

*packs up the guinea pigs*

XXXXX

scaredy_cat

don't forget the bunnies!!!

Buffythedebtslayer

So..........................................................................

I need more money.

Not in a grabby greedy way and actually need is a stretch....

Put it this way, a rational human being would rehome her animals (2 piggies, 2 rabbits) and !!!!!! off to rent somewhere cheaper. I am aware of this but I sit here and watch them and they do keep me going. When the depression is really bad they are a reason to get up in the morning. So whilst it is an option it is not one i am actively pursuing. Not yet any how.

The non rational (!) human being says.

1. not being paid enough for current job.
2. not happy living here.
3. becoming more aware that sister and BIL are laying claim to the house. discouraging Mum from making changes, discouraging Mum from doing anything actually. And they are effectively the only ones who could afford this house. And I don't trust them at all. But financially I can do nothing and it would kill Mum to know that I even entertain this idea. Sister is the precious one and that fact has blighted my life up till now. weird saying that. But I have allowed it to happen. Nothing I can do about the past and God knows I have tried. So now I need to make sure it stops.
4. Mum goes to Florida in September and will be there for two months. Realistically I can't leave till after that as there is no way to look after the dogs.
5. When I move out I won't be able to take much with me. I will only be moving somewhere small! so must continue with the de-cluttering.


So meanwhile back at the ranch. Short term - need to amass cash. cold hard cash. It is getting late now. need sleep.

XXX

badmemory

I used to follow your diary but stopped because I always felt like shouting "get out of there, no matter what it costs, get out of there". You need your animals in your life because your family are toxic. If you did not have your family (to make you feel less than you are) your would not need pets. Get out and get out now. You have the summer holidays in front of you to prepare. By the time your Mum is back from Florida be gone. It (she) is not your problem. You can't fix it. You could win a lottery jackpot and you won't win this one.

Resign. Let them win. In the long run you will be the winner if you let it go. It may be hard - but you really do know what you need to do!

I have been the sister who can't get it right, funny how we seem to be the ones who turn up. We turn up to clean up the mess & get patronised for our trouble. Whatever we do is not quite enough/not quite right. They damage our mental health and are quite prepared to damage our physical health too. You are being set up to be the carer who lands up with nothing (and I mean nothing) when their caree is gone.

Get out and get out now and let THEM sort out the situation you leave behind you. Otherwise you are going to land up homeless and don't expect your family to give you any help. They have already made the answer to that quite clear.

Buffythedebtslayer

thanks for your input badmemory,

Please can this not turn into slag my family off time tho. I made this bad decision when we lost my Dad. I have my reasons why I stay and ok, loads of people don't agree with them. That is obviously going to happen.

I am the one who doesn't confront Mum about my sister. I am the one who has tried to go along with everyone. No one forced me. I have made mistakes and for stupid reasons continue to make them. I am now way past a mortgage, a husband, all the things I expected to happen. I am having a difficult time. Please don't blame them. I am WAY past of the age of parent/family blaming. This really is all on me.

Really must get this diary or maybe a new diary back on the moneysaving front. The issue of me living here won't change for at least six months and maybe not even then. The stress of the op and fear it put in Mum and I, had to come out somehow.