Quit everything , and start again over 50?

Smodlet

OMG, wendym! Yep, common sense is a complete misnomer and will soon, it seems, die out altogether. Who needs common sense when there is an app for everything?

lessonlearned

Smodlet. I agree with the nurse too. I wasn't suggesting otherwise.

If it were up to me I would stop all treatment and either bring him home or, if he is too ill, transfer him to a hospice and ensure he has good palliative care.

I did this for both my husband and my mum.

There is a time to live and a time to die.

Dying should be painfree, quiet and dignified, not in a hospital bed on a busy ward wired up to a load of machines. . My husband's GP said to me. "Whatever you do don't let him die. In hospital, because hospitals are no place to die".

Straight from the horses mouth.

There is absolutely nothing to be gained from putting dad through life prolonging treatments and endless tests and procedures at this stage. But the old devil won't give in. . He won't admit it's time to let go, he's still hoping for a miracle cure.

My sister has spent hours on the phone this morning trying to see if they will stop the tests and scans. But they have said he wants to carry on with the treatment so they have to carry on. .

And.........Whilst he is willing to continue We can't countermand his instructions.

I'll know more after the meeting. . Apparently he is now in a quiet side Ward so hopefully he is more comfortable and can get some sleep.

How on earth do you tell someone they are dying when they don't want to hear it.......:o

Sorry AC. Don't mean to hijack your thread.....

Smodlet

I totally agree with you, LL and, if I can't go either in my sleep or instantly, want to go in no pain and (preferably) with a :beer: in my hand however, I suppose it is also true that people have the right to die as they wish, within the limits of what is possible, of course. If your dad wants to go down fighting, that is his wish...

Not everyone gets to be your age, LL, never mind your dad's. He sounds like the kind of cantankerous, old (fill in word of choice) who has lived life on his own terms; now he is facing (barring a miracle) his final curtain in the same way.

I sincerely hope you can derive some tiny crumb of comfort from my words; I have nothing else to offer except that I will be here for you, as I am sure many of us will.


AC, I feel certain you will not begrudge this aside on your thread. Thank you, hun.

S x

lessonlearned

Just back from the horspickle.........

News is better than hoped for. Yes of course he's still terminal but they have now identified the infection that was running riot and are bringing out the big guns to target it.

The problem with AML is that it destroys the immune system but thankfully they have now managed to put him in isolation, and have set up infection protocols to avoid any further infections.

He now accepts he has to remain in hospital for at least the next five days and is finally co-operating nicely. :rotfl:

Anyway I feel confident that they are doing all they can. It is actually a very good hospital and his team are fabulous.

I am particularly relieved that they have now set up a DNR on his file.

So the plan is sort out these infections.....top up with more blood and platelets..... No more invasive treatments or surgeries. Just patch him up and send him home.

lessonlearned

Smodlet.....had to smile...your description of my dad as a cantankerous old curmudgeon is spot on.

And you are right, he most definitely won't "go quietly into that gentle goodnight".

I have to say I admire his courage. He spent 9 years in the military and his war record is awe inspiring. He drives me round the bend at times but I have to admit he's made of the "right stuff".

I shall miss the grumpy old s o d. :rotfl:

Smodlet

Gods love you, LL, it's, "... go gentle into that good night", as if you care, especially atm.

Glad your dad is comfortable... I would have been better off if I had never met mine so please, try to remember the good times and just be grateful for the dad you have.

I am so, so glad I made you smile, that was all my intention.

We'll be here, won't we, guys?

S xx

wendym

Not comparing my situation with your dad's, LL, but my autoimmune thing trashes the immune system, which then gets another whack from the steroids. I have twice been in hospital for treatment of infections, and the response was remarkable.

He will soon be feeling so much better.

I shall drive my family nuts when I am old and awkward. I'm not going a moment before I have to. Just too nosy to leave early.

Smodlet

You hang around, wendym, please. I feel privileged to have "met" you, and you make me laugh. Not many can. Thank you and I hope you are feeling not too bad?

S xx

wendym

Thanks again Smodlet for such kind words.

I am pottling along fine, thank you. All I need is for Christmas to be postponed for a week or so, and for my stocking to contain two new feet.

grunnie

LL thinking about you and hoping you have the strength to cope . Look after yourself.