Quit everything , and start again over 50?

enthusiasticsaver

That makes sense to me too AC. I wondered why you did not do that originally. No point in moving out to a friends sofa when you don't have to. You need some sleep

bettyboo71

I haven't posted for a few weeks - mostly because of the dentist, but I'll probably get to that later.

AC, congratulations on making it this far. Although you are financially in a much better position than me, you did this on your own - I at least had my other half for all the support I needed.

When we moved, we had two weeks in a rental flat before we could move into the cottage. Apart from the essentials, I did very little, other than relax and catch up on sleep. My 'new life' didn't officially start until we got to the cottage. So my suggestion is that you don't worry about anything that doesn't absolutely need to be done, until you are settled in next week. Give yourself a chance to recover from all the stress, find your bearings a bit, and just enjoy the freedom. As someone else said, treat this as a holiday - that was how we viewed our two weeks in limbo (it was actually a lovely flat in Glasgow, with good local amenities and next to a lovely big park)

There is a suggestion that has come up several times, but you have not really acknowledged. Maybe it isn't your thing, but I am going to suggest it once more. Make lists. Have a list of everyone you need to tell your new address - and keep it for when you move again. Make a list of all the things that you need to do - absolutely everything that you need or want to do - then prioritise it. Make a deal with yourself about how many items you need to achieve from that list each day or week. Then stick to it. It gives you a purpose each day, and helps you to feel that you are achieving something, and dealing with it all, without you getting panicked or stressed. Sometimes, the first item on the list won't be the one you chose to tackle, for a number of reasons, but prioritising does help you to keep focussed. After what you have already done, you can achieve pretty much anything if you really want it. But I do think you should view next Wednesday as the official start of your new life - and start as you mean to go on. Everyone else has already said enough about that :-)

Regarding sleeping, your body clock will take ages to reset, as everyone has said. If you find it impossible to stay in bed once you are awake, try this. Get up, make a cuppa and have something light to eat, then try going back to bed. Even if you can't sleep, you will be cozy, comfortable, and can hopefully relax a bit.

Virtual hugs and best wishes to everyone else on the thread - seems like some of you are having a tough time of it, but we are all here for you, and I often think that helps, especially when your nearest and dearest are also suffering too so you may feel you can't lean on them. Please feel free to lean on MSE!

Now my dental tale of woe - I will try to keep it brief. I am currently in the process of numerous impressions and fittings for upper and lower partial dentures. The precursor to this was seven extractions, in three appointments over three weeks. A combination of two crowns breaking in quick succession, and some issues with wisdom teeth that could really only be solved with removal. Here's where our dental adventures get 'entertaining'. Due to a severe lack of dental provision on the island, we had to find a dentist on the mainland. As neither of us drive, this involves catching the 0930 bus,for 1140 and 1150 appointments, with the very slim hope of catching the 1215 bus back. If we had done this in the summer it would have been okay, but as our first appointments coincided with the start of the winter bus time table, missing the 1215 means having to wait until 1615 for the next bus. On a cold wet day, after three extractions, when the library is the size of my sitting room, and there is only one cafe open......
So, in future, myself and OH will not get our appointments on the same day - which should mean we can catch the 1215 back.

But this is a very small price to pay for what we have here. (If I could work out how to, and I don't even know if it is possible, I would add a picture of the view from our house, when the sun is setting)

another_casualty

Thanks Betty
Hope your dental problems disappear soon. I can do impressions, but not the ones that matter to you .
Will consider doing lists .
I think next weds as you say , is the first proper day of my new life .

Once I sort out the payplan , I would feel more at ease :)0

wendym

Remember the first thing on the list is Make List, so you can tick one thing off straight away.

Smodlet

What a beautiful post, Betty. I very much hope yours and wendym's dental woes are over soon.

Bless you both and, as Betty said, everyone on this thread and thank you all so much, especially you, AC, for making me feel so welcome here. It is very much appreciated.

Hugs to all, leaning away from the faces of those with aching jaws.

S xxx

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Deep_In_Debt

Hi AC

I've dipped in and out of your thread and not really posted as everyone has given you great advice and been really supportive and I can't add to what others have said.

I've found your journey interesting - I was in a job I hated too, jacked it in with no job to go to, paid off my mortgage and went temping (which I did for 2 years) - and I've been happy since leaving the stress behind although money is tight at times, my health both physical and mental and quality of life is more important to me now - I survive financially. I've not been as brave as you though as to sell up and move to a different part of the country - I'm too worried about not getting work. Good luck with things - I'm sure it will all work for you soon.

With regard to paying your debts...don't go via Payplan as they probably won't negotiate too low. Just contact the creditors yourself, negotiate with them and then tell Payplan when you have cleared the debts. That's what I did when I was with Stepchange. SC probably would have got about 80% reduction (if that) and I negotiated some F&Fs at just over 30%. National Debtline have a really good template letter you can use for this...https://www.nationaldebtline.org/EW/sampleletters/Pages/Full-and-final-settlement-offers-%28sole-name%29.aspx

Good luck.

another_casualty

Thanks deep
Glad that you feel much better in yourself , after rearranging your lifestyle .
I notice you live in Surrey . Surrey is cool. I was in a situation where I could see no work for me there.If there was, the salary would be about 10k
Less than in central London . Of course central London ,working in and commuting to had changed my personality. Then the buses change in design and Windows don't work etc.
On top of all that , companies decide to treat you like crap..because they can .
I'm worried about work prospects also, but will give myself time to get ready. Then, I too want to temp. I believe that , I have worked the longest I can for employers and the idea of gold watch retirements are now from a different era altogether. Sure, I want to work continuously , but I don't trust anything in the work place anymore . I would like to temp, get on with colleagues and see what happens ..

I must say so far, the tension seems to be gone from my body.
Random Tiredness is an issue also. I take that as a sign that I still need to rest.
I will mull over Payplan . For now.

Deep_In_Debt

another_casualty wrote: »

Thanks deep
Glad that you feel much better in yourself , after rearranging your lifestyle .
I notice you live in Surrey . Surrey is cool. I was in a situation where I could see no work for me there.If there was, the salary would be about 10k
Less than in central London . Of course central London ,working in and commuting to had changed my personality. Then the buses change in design and Windows don't work etc.
On top of all that , companies decide to treat you like crap..because they can .
I'm worried about work prospects also, but will give myself time to get ready. Then, I too want to temp. I believe that , I have worked the longest I can for employers and the idea of gold watch retirements are now from a different era altogether. Sure, I want to work continuously , but I don't trust anything in the work place anymore . I would like to temp, get on with colleagues and see what happens ..

I must say so far, the tension seems to be gone from my body.
Random Tiredness is an issue also. I take that as a sign that I still need to rest.
I will mull over Payplan . For now.

I spent 7 years commuting to London...and on Southern Rail too...the worst ever. Frequently late for work...out of my hands and got pulled up for it every time...it was ok for all those who could afford to live in London and not worry about commuting and the terrible service and the cost. Rant over!

Anyway, I decided that although I was earning good money for the job I did, I'd lived as frugally as I could to get me out of the situation.

I've had some great temp jobs, most have been long term and the latest one I chose to go permanent after 6 months of temping. Much nicer commute...30 minute drive, country routes and a nice company...crap money, but the job, people, and other things more important now and my all round health is much better.

another_casualty

You got there in the end imho. long may the good times continue for you

Deep_In_Debt

another_casualty wrote: »

You got there in the end imho. long may the good times continue for you

It will work out for you..and best wishes for the future.

I've got nothing more useful to add to this thread but I will continue reading and if I can offer advice in any way I will pop in. You are already receiving great advice from the posters on this thread...so I will leave you in their good hands.
I wish you all the best x:beer: