Opinions on wedding invites

melanzana

Is there any particular reason that the reception venue cannot accommodate the ceremony aswell?

Izadora

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Most weddings I go to now you have to pay for your own drinks other than a glass to toast the couple with.

That's because of the cost involved in giving booze to a whole bunch of people you've never met before but had to invite just because they're going out with one of your friends...

POPPYOSCAR

Person_one wrote: »

Absolutely, but there are a few things that they shouldn't really break with tradition on (in my opinion of course).

It wouldn't be on to not provide any food all day, even though its a big cost, or to only provide a hog roast with no consideration for vegetarians etc. It wouldn't be on to have a ceremony in a room with no seating so that all the guests including 75 year old granny and 3 year old cousin Timmy have to stand on the spot for an hour. It wouldn't be on to tell your guests what they have to wear or what facial hair they're allowed (both past threads on this board!) and its not on to invite guests who are married, engaged or cohabiting but not invite their partners.

Yes, the couple are the 'most important' people on the day, but they invite guests because they want them to share the happy day surely? Not just to be an audience or extras in the photographs!

I think this just about sums up a lot of weddings these days.

MandyBean

Person_one wrote: »

Absolutely, but there are a few things that they shouldn't really break with tradition on (in my opinion of course).

It wouldn't be on to not provide any food all day, even though its a big cost, or to only provide a hog roast with no consideration for vegetarians etc. It wouldn't be on to have a ceremony in a room with no seating so that all the guests including 75 year old granny and 3 year old cousin Timmy have to stand on the spot for an hour. It wouldn't be on to tell your guests what they have to wear or what facial hair they're allowed (both past threads on this board!) and its not on to invite guests who are married, engaged or cohabiting but not invite their partners.

Yes, the couple are the 'most important' people on the day, but they invite guests because they want them to share the happy day surely? Not just to be an audience or extras in the photographs!

Completely agree

POPPYOSCAR

Izadora wrote: »

That's because of the cost involved in giving booze to a whole bunch of people you've never met before but had to invite just because they're going out with one of your friends...

Ha ha ..... very good!

Piggywiggy

Personally I'd be happy to not be invited to the ceremony if it was someone he knew but I didn't know very well or hadn't met at all, and I would do the same, to me the ceremony should be a private small affair, why would I want strangers there?

jackyann

However, I do think that OP made it clear that it was only the ceremony that people would be excluded from - not the whole thing.

Anatidaephobia

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Hypothetically, in this situation, would you seriously turn down the invite JUST because your OH hasn't been invited? Even though they don't know him and he doesn't know them?

If it was the situation that the OP described, I would still go. My partner would still come with me then likely hang around outside (or maybe wait in a bar in the venue) chatting with the other people who were invited to the reception but not the ceremony itself!

Equally, if it was the other way around, I wouldn't mind either - obviously on the assumption that the reason was rational and made sense. If it was his friend's wedding and I was invited to the reception but not ceremony due to limited numbers, that's totally fine. If it was my best friend's wedding and they invited my partner to the ceremony and expected me to wait around outside, obviously not fine! I think that people are usually understanding and accommodating if the reason for doing something makes sense.

To be honest, in the scenario the OP described, partners would only be split for a short time, the length of a ceremony (half an hour?) then everyone together again for the reception so not really a big deal. Saying that, I have to be honest, if it was my wedding, I wouldn't be splitting up couples.

happyinflorida

Is there a bar at this venue?

If yes, there's your answer. If you have the money you could even say have a pint on us at the bar whilst you're not being bored rigid!!

Most men love any excuse to go to a bar together. You could also arrange for there to be a large screen TV so they could watch a football match or whatever is on at the time, that would really make 99.9% of most men very happy indeed!

oldtrout

PlanHappy the OP seems to have disappeared!