Opinions on wedding invites

busiscoming2

I think it's wrong to only invite one person to the Ceremony and I certainly would be put out if either me or DH were invited without the other.

Choose another venue.

Petra_70

What kind of venue only holds 35 people? Are you having the wedding in a caravan?!

I would never in a million years do this to people. And I can honestly say if I were invited to a wedding and DH wasn't, I would be as offended as he would be! And I wouldn't go. And vice versa if he was invited and I wasn't.

I actually was invited to a wedding some 17-18 years ago, and DH wasn't invited, but the girl in question (a work colleague/friend of mine at the time) had invited most partners of her colleagues/friends. I didn't go: and I didn't even tell her I wasn't going; I just didn't turn up. I thought excluding my DH was really rude, and I was very insulted by it. I didn't speak to her much after that, and she made it known that she wasn't happy that I never went, and 'couldn't be bothered' to let her know. Of all the cheek! What on earth did the silly mare expect?!

Only inviting one half of a couple you know is a great way to insult and upset people. Some people don't invite kids which causes offence, but not inviting someone's partner/husband/wife. Hell to the no.

Brighton_belle

Petra_70 wrote: »

What kind of venue only holds 35 people?

Most registry offices I think.

theoretica

If you do this (and I think it perfectly fine - it's your wedding not theirs) I think you need to do it very carefully. Firstly you would need to explain very clearly on the invitation why you were only inviting a few. Tiny venue, close family and a few very special old friends only. And secondly as couples would often travel together you would need to arrange something for them to do - maybe have the reception venue open with something going on?

gettingtheresometime

Petra_70 wrote: »

What kind of venue only holds 35 people? Are you having the wedding in a caravan?!

I would never in a million years do this to people. And I can honestly say if I were invited to a wedding and DH wasn't, I would be as offended as he would be! And I wouldn't go. And vice versa if he was invited and I wasn't.

I actually was invited to a wedding some 17-18 years ago, and DH wasn't invited, but the girl in question (a work colleague/friend of mine at the time) had invited most partners of her colleagues/friends. I didn't go: and I didn't even tell her I wasn't going; I just didn't turn up. I thought excluding my DH was really rude, and I was very insulted by it. I didn't speak to her much after that, and she made it known that she wasn't happy that I never went, and 'couldn't be bothered' to let her know. Of all the cheek! What on earth did the silly mare expect?!

Only inviting one half of a couple you know is a great way to insult and upset people. Some people don't invite kids which causes offence, but not inviting someone's partner/husband/wife. Hell to the no.

As my mum would say two wrongs don't make a right.

And for the record yes I think you were in the wrong for not at least having the manners to say you weren't going.

burnoutbabe

I'd not have an issue about it IF the partners of the people invited had somewhere nearby to go and sit in the warm. A short ceremony and they'd be out for the reception in 20 minutes. so really depends on the set up.

The reception is more fun for guests, one is fed and watered

Torry_Quine

Person_one wrote: »

Think about it, you're asking people to come and witness you making a lifelong commitment to you partner, and excluding their partners to do so!

If the people you want to invite are married, engaged or cohabiting then it is indeed very rude and a 'massive faux pas' to exclude their partners.

Find a bigger space, or cut the list so that you can include partners.

Exactly this, it seems very strange.

Mojisola

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Most registry offices I think.

All the registry offices in our area have several rooms that you can choose from, depending on how many guests you plan to invite.

sooty&sweep

It's your wedding & you should do what makes you & your partner happy.

If it was explained properly to those effected that if their partner isn't invited to the ceremony it's not intended to be a slight on them but a space issue.

I do think you should consult your parents, in laws to be, best man, chief bridesmaid etc to see how they feel. If they are supportive then they would be able to reassure others that no offence is intended.

Jen

sterlingstash

Yes, it is your wedding, but in terms of avoiding regret, I would suggest that the venue will ultimately rate less importantly than any fear of bad feelings (whether real or imagined) down the line.
We had a similar issue, and whilst those not invited have been fine since (text removed by MSE Forum Team) I have strong regrets. And that was with not such a tight limit (100 people in church out of about 175)