Opinions on wedding invites

jackyann

For me, it would depend on what you were doing with the other lot. Beanie is right if they are hanging about!
But the venue must have faced this before. I imagine having a room where the 400-35 can have drinks, maybe even see the wedding on a screen, and where you go immediately afterwards.
I wouldn't be upset by this if it really was a very special venue, and my comfort had been thought of.
However, I'm also with ognum, that weddings get very emotional and why begin with a problem?

Another way around it, depending on who your bridesmaids / best man are & who their plus-ones are, would be to have the ceremony for VERY few - with everyone except "top table" arriving after the ceremony.
We have done something similar in our family (registry office for a dozen and big party after) and no-one got upset, but we are not, on the whole, a family who attaches importance to formality & ceremony.

pinkteapot

ognum wrote: »

Honestly, I would look for another venue for the actual wedding, why put yourself through the stress.

I agree with this.

Approach it the other way round - write your lists and work out how many people you want at the ceremony and how many at the reception, then find an appropriately sized venue.

comeandgo

I,ve been to some very weird weddings but never one where only one half of a partnership have been invited, if my husband is not thought good enough to attend then neither am I and it would really harm the relationship I had with the bride and groom.

fairy_lights

comeandgo wrote: »

I,ve been to some very weird weddings but never one where only one half of a partnership have been invited, if my husband is not thought good enough to attend then neither am I and it would really harm the relationship I had with the bride and groom.

But it wouldn't be about your partner not being 'good enough' to be invited, it would be about him not being as close to the couple as you are to take up one of the very limited spaces.

firebird082

Absolutely don't think you can only invite one half of a couple - all you'll do will be to cause offence. Not a great way to start off married life. If you really must use this place, invite close family, bridesmaids and best man (plus partners) to the ceremony.

I'm really struggling to imagine what sort of place this is for the ceremony!

Rambosmum

I'd be hacked off if we were invited to a wedding but only one of us to the ceremony. Especially as it's not as though the ceremony costs per head. Either invite both parties to the whole thing or just to the evening. Or change venue. Especially if many will have to travel - what will they do with themselves for the 45 mins of the ceremony?

Is there any way that the ceremony could be filmed and streamed live to the reception room for people to watch? Though people in their may feel a bit 'second class'.

74jax

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I've been invited to weddings alone, hubby has too.

If my best friend only invited me and not hubby I'd be there in a heart beat.

It's your wedding. Have who you want there. If you want people there but don't have the space look elsewhere.

gettingtheresometime

There's a lovely venue for weddings near me that can hold 30 people max (and that has to include the bride, groom & registrar!) and I know of one couple that dismissed this place because of this restriction.

If I was invited to a wedding & reception without OH I wouldn't think it as odd as being invited to a wedding ceremony on my own but to the reception as a couple.

I was invited to the reception but not the ceremony I think I'd decline unless I had something to wear already; I certainly wouldn't be spending money on something new

Person_one

Think about it, you're asking people to come and witness you making a lifelong commitment to you partner, and excluding their partners to do so!

If the people you want to invite are married, engaged or cohabiting then it is indeed very rude and a 'massive faux pas' to exclude their partners.

Find a bigger space, or cut the list so that you can include partners.

melanzana

Sorry Op, I think many would be upset at not being invited to the ceremony.

Second class citizens huh?

I think it would be OK if the ceremony is restricted to immediate family only. But what does that entail either?

Trouble all round I think.

Get another venue, or have a ceremony and reception for the 35, and maybe a party the following day/week for the afterthoughts. Sorry, but you know what I mean.

This is why I dislike weddings.

Get it right first go or forget it. The fact that OP has reservations is enough to tell me that it is all wrong and will only cause trouble.

Personally, I would not go to the ceremony on my own, leaving DP waiting (probably having a few!) at the reception.

Recipe for disaster and resentment.