In love for 10 years but never told her

Petra_70

bouicca21 wrote: »

Fantasy is always more exciting than real life. Grow up.

This first reply nailed it.

Why are people wasting their time and effort and energy on a story that is obviously not true?

This guy has been on here many times before under different guises. The posting style stands out a mile, and every time he posts; it's always about a relationship that doesn't exist, with with a girl that doesn't exist.

This is a single, (probably unemployed) male, who is not in any relationship, and lives with his parents, and has way too much time on his hands.

I just don't know why he keeps doing this, or why people take it so seriously and respond.

PasturesNew

If you don't tell her you can't move on. You're stuck. If you tell her the worst you'll do is lose her "friendship", when in fact you're actually only "friends" in a "hoping...." sort of way.

Free her and free yourself by telling her.

As for your current relationship, you need to finish this. She's second best and nobody deserves that. She's not had the choice you're enjoying. You've just hung on there as it was handy/easy, but you'd be out of there like a shot if Miss X said "ooh yes please".

Be fair to everybody. Be fair to yourself.

Finish your current relationship.
Wait 2-3 months (decency).
Tell Miss X.

Then, whatever happens, even if you're alone forever, at least you know you did the right thing by all people and you got it over with and finished once and for all.

Gavin83

Horizon81 wrote: »

Nailed it. Men and women can never just be friends, despite women thinking so. A quick way to prove it is to say to the man, if your female friend asked you for sex, would you say yes or no? We all know the answer.

I really don't think this is the case. I was actually propositioned by a female friend in my younger days and turned her down. I wasn't interested. Not all mixed sex relationships are because the guy wants sex with the girl.

TBagpuss

Horizon81 wrote: »

Exactly - all of which equate to a yes.

Er, no - two of them ="no" and 2 = "Maybe"

Not all men are incapable of being friends with women. I, and many of the other women I know have friendships with men. Maybe you've been unlucky if you've never been able to have a non-sexual friendship with someone of the opposite sex, but your experience is not universal.

VestanPance

gabriel1980 wrote: »

Never heard of being "friend-zoned"?!

Yes, it's a pathetic term made up by sad blokes who can't comprehend she was never anything else in the first place. It's not friend zoned, it's just not interested in anything romantic. Normally the sort of guy who hangs around, pretending to be her friend, thinking at any moment she'll notice how awesome I am and then get all !!!!y when she hooks up with some guy that actually asked her out.

System

TBagpuss wrote: »

Er, no - two of them ="no" and 2 = "Maybe"

Not all men are incapable of being friends with women. I, and many of the other women I know have friendships with men. Maybe you've been unlucky if you've never been able to have a non-sexual friendship with someone of the opposite sex, but your experience is not universal.

I can safely say its possible to be platonic friends with the opposite sex.

In fact my best (male friend) just asked me to be his best "man" at his wedding (though being a good friend i stopped him proposing whilst drunk :rotfl: and had to point out it would be more "best woman" )

VfM4meplse

If anyone is any doubt about the level of sympathy on this board, this must surely have been erased by now....

moneyistooshorttomention

Do you meet this woman physically - or is it just Facebook contact stuff now?

One way or another - in your position - I'd arrange to meet her in person at some point (making some excuse about "how about a cup of coffee out whilst I'm shopping in the area?" or similar).

Tell her in the course of conversation (perhaps phrased in a light-hearted jokey "Of course - you've always been The One for me you know" sort of tone) and follow up with a serious "...actually...I'm not joking....excuse me if I've just made a fool of myself telling you..." and wait and see what her response is.

There's always the chance that it will be a "Actually...I've always really fancied you too" type one. In which case - bingo!:beer:

If she just thanks you for your interest/but "Its a no" or looks embarrassed - then just move swiftly on to the next topic of conversation.

Either way - at least you've tried and you'd know where you stand (ie rather than keeping on wondering about it). Right now - you are indeed "stuck" if you carry on hoping/but saying nothing.

Horizon81

esuhl wrote: »

Wow. How tragic that you can't think beyond sex when dealing with folks of the opposite gender.

Do you really think that all men would agree to have sex with each and every one of their female friends?! You must know some very horny and indiscriminately blokes!

I'm glad the people in my life are so much better than that.

Ask them the question then!

gabriel1980

I honestly don't believe men and women can be friends without sex entering into it. I'm sure a lot of women believe that, but trust me at one point that male friend has thought about having sex with you.