In love for 10 years but never told her

Just_another

Hello,

I have a tale to tell and just looking for advice really.

Basically in a nutshell I have been in love with a girl for just over 10 years and I have never really told her how I felt. Let's just call her 'miss x'

We used to work together and from the first moment I saw her, the first moment I spoke to her I was hooked. We became friends and my feelings grew.

In the beginning I was far too shy to say how I felt or even ask her out. As the years went by I had other relationships with other girls but I never felt anything like how I felt for 'miss x'.

We were always having a laugh but I never could pluck up the courage to say anything. After working together for a few years she left but the feelings never went away. Stayed in touch through Facebook. She then came back to work but I was in a relationship.

Fast forward several more years and we no longer work together and I am in a 8 year relationship but 'miss x' is never away from my thoughts.

So basically what I'm asking is should I just give up and forget about her or should I say something as I don't want to go through life with the regret of not telling her how I feel.

bouicca21

Fantasy is always more exciting than real life. Grow up.

System

bouicca21 wrote: »

Fantasy is always more exciting than real life. Grow up.

What a bright ray of sunshine you are!:(

gabriel1980

I think you should tell her how you feel. If the feelings are reciprocated, then great (apart from the ending of your current relationship) and if they're not, you can simply not contact her again. I think you're never going to know if you never ask. You have to ask! You've got nothing to lose.

VestanPance

Firstly you should finish things with your current girlfriend, as she shouldn't be playing second fiddle to your fantasy girlfriend.

Secondly the chances are you friend will be horrified to think you've been hanging around her for 10 years like a creep because you had a crush on her, rather than valuing her as a friend.

DKLS

Never heard the saying "Carpe Diem" ?

Just_another

VestanPance wrote: »

Firstly you should finish things with your current girlfriend, as she shouldn't be playing second fiddle to your fantasy girlfriend.

Secondly the chances are you friend will be horrified to think you've been hanging around her for 10 years like a creep because you had a crush on her, rather than valuing her as a friend.

Did I say I didn't value her as a friend or was that an assumption?

Of course I value her as a friend as that is all she has been. Me having feelings for her isn't the reason we were friends. It of helped but it certainty wasn't the sole reason I maintained a friendship.

And using a work like 'creep' is ever so slightly harsh and quite frankly out of line.

VestanPance

You hung around her as you "love" her. That's not friendship and it is creepy.

FBaby

Do you love your current partner and considering a long term commitment with them? Why is the question of telling the friend coming up now?

burlington6

Forget it. Life isn't like a soppy 90's love story where you tell her your feelings after 10 years and she'll suddenly realise she feels the same.

You're a friend, at most. Move on with your life

sheramber

What do you hope to happen if you tell her you love her?

What happens to your current relationship?

Does your current girlfriend know how you feel? If not, how will she reacr to that news?

Why could you enter into other relationships over the years but not enter one with her when the occasions allowed? That should tell you something.

Your secret love has made no move to tell you she has such feelings for you or do you think she has also been harbouring such feelings for 10years also without telling you?