My friend needs your help, wife threatening to take everything!!

melancholly

and as i've said before - i would take what the husband and wife are both saying about the relationship right now with a pinch of salt as they are both clearly getting very angry about it..... if there are unresolved issues from the last 20 years, then it's a bit late now. if they want to save money then they should try and make this all on good terms - if it gets ugly then only the solictors will win!

melancholly

Clive_Woody wrote: »

No doubt somebody will be along shortly to accuse you of lying and letting down your gender, with maybe a crazed reference to slavery and maybe a bit of pathetic name calling.

See Margaret is off already, she clearly knows better than you do. She is demanding evidence, what does she expect, undercover video footage! :rolleyes:

You really do begin to wonder about the sanity of some of the people on here. Too many of them are so caught up in their own petty agendas that they can't take their blinkers off long enough to think about what they are typing.

i think what everyone has been trying to say is that is very very difficult for someone not in the relationship to make such categorical judgements about what this woman did or did not do for the last 20 years. it's also difficult for the husband to even do that if he was working every hour of the day!

it seems like now, the OP wants the wife to get nothing, which isn't fair and also won't happen legally! people are getting very annoyed in their posts - but you need to take some responsibilty for trying to provoke them! re-reading your posts means that you can't claim the moral high ground over comments made!!

and after such a long marriage, she'll be getting half (barring a miracle) anyway, so trying to make more of the rift in the situation seems pointless.

Clive_Woody

melancholly wrote: »

i think what everyone has been trying to say is that is very very difficult for someone not in the relationship to make such categorical judgements about what this woman did or did not do for the last 20 years. it's also difficult for the husband to even do that if he was working every hour of the day!

it seems like now, the OP wants the wife to get nothing, which isn't fair and also won't happen legally! people are getting very annoyed in their posts - but you need to take some responsibilty for trying to provoke them! re-reading your posts means that you can't claim the moral high ground over comments made!!

and after such a long marriage, she'll be getting half (barring a miracle) anyway, so trying to make more of the rift in the situation seems pointless.

I make no claim of occupying the moral highground, I simply wanted to provide some balance to the crazed feminist rants that the OP first post provoked. I also wanted to point out that there is no need for abusive posts simply because somebody makes a point you disagree with. Some of the flak that the OP has received when she asked for advice has been well out of order and not at all in the spirit of this site.

I had to laugh when I got lambasted for jumping to conclusions, I guess irony is word many are unfamiliar with!

Feisty_Fairy

melancholly wrote: »

i think what everyone has been trying to say is that is very very difficult for someone not in the relationship to make such categorical judgements about what this woman did or did not do for the last 20 years. it's also difficult for the husband to even do that if he was working every hour of the day!

it seems like now, the OP wants the wife to get nothing, which isn't fair and also won't happen legally!

I dont remember saying that!:mad:

people are getting very annoyed in their posts - but you need to take some responsibilty for trying to provoke them! re-reading your posts means that you can't claim the moral high ground over comments made!!

and after such a long marriage, she'll be getting half (barring a miracle) anyway, so trying to make more of the rift in the situation seems pointless.

Maybe you should re-read the posts, i havent at any point said i dont want the woman to get anything!

rchddap1

No-one can truly say what the woman was doing every day. If we can't say (by watching a 247 video) the a court won't be able to either. It doesn't matter what you say is the truth....or what the husband says is the truth....or what the ex wife says is the truth. What matters is what the court thinks when going through the divorce.

For the court to move the boundaries from standard practice they'd need a lot of evidence and good reason not to do what is right by the wife.

Hence why a solicitor is needed (and sounds like a good one is required). They can go through all this and give sound advice to their client. If he thinks she'll get the lot they'll say...and vice versa.

I'm at home taking care of a baby 247 whilst my partner works. There is no-one who could say I don't sit around watching TV all day....and no-one to say I do.

Dan_Thunder

Honest to God some of the comments in this thread beggar belief!

The OP has given their version of the relationship which is that the husband has spent most of his life working whilst his wife has done very little. Now whether you as an individual believe that post is completely irrelevant. The OP is asking for advice on that specific set of circumstances not ones where the woman's been a loving wife, mother & homemaker.

So instead of looking into what-if's, other possibilities and doubting the OP's version of events why don't people just stick to giving advice on the information presented whether they believe it or not, instead of jumping to assumptions with no evidence to back them up.

You may notice that this thread isn't actually called 'A Womans role in the home'!

melancholly

Feisty_Fairy wrote: »

Maybe you should re-read the posts, i havent at any point said i dont want the woman to get anything!

the tone of your posts come across as if you really don't want the wife to get any money at all if it can be helped - in fact, it sounds like you'd do everything possible to minimise the money she can get. when couples split up it gets ugly - and i completely understand from your view point that this 'lazy' woman should not get any of the money 'she didn't earn'. however, there will be another view from the wife, and posts suggesting that being a stay at home mum is not the equivalent of a job and involves watching tv all day will not help win support!

i'm actually trying to be diplomatic, and realistic! it's very likely that the wife will be entiteld to half... i'm being a lot more polite than other posts - and we're all reading the same things that you've written and interpreting them in a way that suggests you really don't want to see this money split equally. perhaps that's 'crazed feminists' or perhaps it's the tone of your posts.

all anyoen can say about the situation is that she will most likley be entitled to half his money and that he should see a solictor asap - and lots of people have said that. going on about what this woman did or did not contribute to the relationship isn't really helping anyone.

Clive_Woody

Feisty_Fairy wrote: »

Maybe you should re-read the posts, i havent at any point said i dont want the woman to get anything!

You don't seriously expect them to let facts get in the way of a good rant. :beer:

I have been accused of jumping to conclusions and claiming the moral high-ground, if it wasn't so pathetic you would have to laugh at them. The irony of it all is quite overwhelming! :T


Basically I think your original post was seem by some as a slight on the whole female species and likely to set the feminist movement back years....don't ask me how they reached this conclusion (strong medication and a few short circuits up top would be my guess)?

Errata

As someone suggested, here's some advice on the situation presented by the OP which is based on a recent divorce case in my family.
No children, wife worked off and on, marriage lasted 40 years: property, husband's private pensions, goods and chattels - all split 50/50.

Feisty_Fairy

melancholly wrote: »

the tone of your posts come across as if you really don't want the wife to get any money at all if it can be helped - in fact, it sounds like you'd do everything possible to minimise the money she can get.

LOL why would i do anything possible to make sure she gets as little as possible? Cant read that any where in my post either, :rolleyes: why should i care? i agree she deserves half but is she entitled to anything else in the future, ie his earnings was what i was asking about!

Next time i wont bother asking on here for advie if i get all this agro!:mad:


when couples split up it gets ugly - and i completely understand from your view point that this 'lazy' woman should not get any of the money 'she didn't earn'. however, there will be another view from the wife, and posts suggesting that being a stay at home mum is not the equivalent of a job and involves watching tv all day will not help win support!

I am also a stay at home mum at the moment so hardly going to slag someone off for the same am I??:rolleyes:

i'm actually trying to be diplomatic, and realistic! it's very likely that the wife will be entiteld to half... i'm being a lot more polite than other posts - and we're all reading the same things that you've written and interpreting them in a way that suggests you really don't want to see this money split equally. perhaps that's 'crazed feminists' :rolleyes: or perhaps it's the tone of your posts. :rotfl:

all anyoen can say about the situation is that she will most likley be entitled to half his money and that he should see a solictor asap - and lots of people have said that. going on about what this woman did or did not contribute to the relationship isn't really helping anyone.

I agree so why keep harping on about it then?