My friend needs your help, wife threatening to take everything!!

melancholly

Clive_Woody wrote: »

This woman has not been in the workplace for 40 years because she has been sat around watching daytime TV. She could have started looking a long time ago, but chose not to and decided to sponge off her husband. I hardly believe the excuse she was unable to start looking as she was busy looking after their son for the last 40 years.

By all accounts she could have been looking for work a good 20 years ago, or are you suggesting the fragile female form starts falling apart at the tender age of 40? :rolleyes:

can i just clarify whether you are somehow invloved in this situation or whether you are inferring things from the original post? you're not the OP but seem to have been providing a lot of information - if this is just your interpretation of the OP's comments, then that's really... unhelpful for anyone trying to offer advice on the situation, as they aren't facts, they're your inferences.

Clive_Woody

margaretclare wrote: »

You have no idea that 'she was sat around watching daytime TV'. You have no idea at all what she was doing. This is disgusting. Unless you somehow had CCTV following her, you just don't know.

Margaret

I do apologise Margaret, am I not allowed to jump to conclusions like everybody else is!

Bad me... :rolleyes:

I notice you aren't berating the posters who were openly offensive and rude to the OP. I wonder why that might be.

Feisty_Fairy

margaretclare wrote: »

You have no idea that 'she was sat around watching daytime TV'.

Sorry to say this but yes she was!:o

margaretclare

melancholly wrote: »

can i just clarify whether you are somehow invloved in this situation or whether you are inferring things from the original post? you're not the OP but seem to have been providing a lot of information - if this is just your interpretation of the OP's comments, then that's really... unhelpful for anyone trying to offer advice on the situation, as they aren't facts, they're your inferences.

Exactly.

There has been a lot of criticism of a woman who, we are now told categorically by Feisty_Fairy, did nothing for 40 years but sit around watching daytime TV - and the evidence for that is???? However, nothing much has been said about her husband, what was he doing in all that time. If he'd wanted her out at the coal-face every day instead of indoors with the TV, he could have said so. I'm not here to defend women who do nothing but watch daytime TV, I've always been fiercely independent and have worked for my living, apart from 3 years having children and 3 years at university - even then I did night-shifts in a maternity unit for 14 weeks every summer.

My DH was in 2 unsatisfactory marriages in the same kind of time-frame. He picked himself up and got out. The second one was a bit like the kind of woman you describe except that, as well as being totally extravagant, she was also abusive and violent. He got out. No one has to stay in an unsatisfactory marriage for 40 years!

Obviously, bitter and acrimonious things may be said in the heat of the moment like 'I'm going to take you for every penny'. It will be down to a judge to decide that.

Margaret

Feisty_Fairy

margaretclare wrote: »

Exactly.

There has been a lot of criticism of a woman who, we are now told categorically by Feisty_Fairy, did nothing for 40 years but sit around watching daytime TV - and the evidence for that is????

Why do you need evidence? Is my word not enough?

However, nothing much has been said about her husband, what was he doing in all that time.

As i stated earlier he was working all the hours god sent, and working hard, he is what some people call a 'Grafter' and always will be, he did this because he loved her and doesnt like confrontation, arguments and was fed up of nagging, so never said anything in order to have a 'quiet life'!!

If he'd wanted her out at the coal-face every day instead of indoors with the TV, he could have said so. I'm not here to defend women who do nothing but watch daytime TV, I've always been fiercely independent and have worked for my living, apart from 3 years having children and 3 years at university - even then I did night-shifts in a maternity unit for 14 weeks every summer.

My DH was in 2 unsatisfactory marriages in the same kind of time-frame. He picked himself up and got out. The second one was a bit like the kind of woman you describe except that, as well as being totally extravagant, she was also abusive and violent. He got out. No one has to stay in an unsatisfactory marriage for 40 years!

As stated above, he didnt want to get out, he loved her!

Clive_Woody

Feisty_Fairy wrote: »

Sorry to say this but yes she was!:o

No doubt somebody will be along shortly to accuse you of lying and letting down your gender, with maybe a crazed reference to slavery and maybe a bit of pathetic name calling.

See Margaret is off already, she clearly knows better than you do. She is demanding evidence, what does she expect, undercover video footage! :rolleyes:

You really do begin to wonder about the sanity of some of the people on here. Too many of them are so caught up in their own petty agendas that they can't take their blinkers off long enough to think about what they are typing.

Feisty_Fairy

Clive_Woody wrote: »

No doubt somebody will be along shortly to accuse you of lying and letting down your gender, with maybe a crazed reference to slavery and maybe a bit of pathetic name calling.

See Margaret is off already, she clearly knows better than you do. She is demanding evidence, what does she expect, undercover video footage! :rolleyes:

You really do begin to wonder about the sanity of some of the people on here. Too many of them are so caught up in their own petty agendas that they can't take their blinkers off long enough to think about what they are typing.

I know and im ready for em!!:rotfl: That'll teach me to ask for advice! lol:rotfl:

RadoJo

I undestand that in an ideal world she would be responsible for her own future, but realistically, how is this supposed to happen? If I am reading your posting correctly, she has not worked for at least 40 years - what kind of job will she be able to get with outdated skills, no experience and at an age where presumably she is not in the first flush of youth!
I would tend not to agree that a woman should be automatically entitled to half of everything without exception, but I think in this case, you have to be realistic - what else would she live on?

margaretclare

RadoJo wrote: »

I undestand that in an ideal world she would be responsible for her own future, but realistically, how is this supposed to happen? If I am reading your posting correctly, she has not worked for at least 40 years - what kind of job will she be able to get with outdated skills, no experience and at an age where presumably she is not in the first flush of youth!
I would tend not to agree that a woman should be automatically entitled to half of everything without exception, but I think in this case, you have to be realistic - what else would she live on?

This is exactly what I was saying, and as you can see above, I have been slated for it.

However, no one can make me unhappy today. I've just got a 'D' grade in GCSE Maths, and while that is nothing fantastic, it's a cause for celebration considering the reasons why I did it and the kind of 'mental blocks' that I had.

He stayed in this marriage 'because he loved her'. Sounds to have been a very one-sided love! Didn't he ask her why she didn't love him back?

I don't think any outsider can judge what went on in another couple's marriage, and to say that a woman 'does nothing/has done nothing for all those years except watch daytime TV' is, I think, stretching probability a bit. Unless someone was watching her the whole time, you can't possibly know.

Margaret

liney

Apparently when i am at home i sit around watching day time TV... in between taking care of a toddler, doing all of the housework and cooking, and studying for an OU degree and working 22.5 hours a week outside the home in paid employment! This is the opinion of my female friends who work full time anyway (and have husband do half the housework and see their children for an hour before bed, but that's another thread isn't it)

Being a housewife is a valid job if it is treated as a job. The fairys, (unfortunately) dont make my house sparkle. Nor do they feed the boys.