My friend needs your help, wife threatening to take everything!!

Clive_Woody

liney wrote: »

...she saved him from paying for a cleaner, cook, childminder etc etc

My wife and I both work full time, we have neither a cleaner or a cook, I suspect we are not alone in this sort of arrangement. This excuse of having a career as a 'homemaker' is wearing very thin when one decides the grass is greener and wants a cash handout to take with them. The ageism excuse for not getting a job is equally as poor.

liney wrote: »

Some men should employ a cleaner rather than have a wife: They would probably value her more anyway.

Some men should employ a cleaner rather than have a wife: at least she would be upfront about taking his money and running and will most likely do a better job!

Ms_Piggy_2

Clive_Woody wrote: »

My wife and I both work full time, we have neither a cleaner or a cook, I suspect we are not alone in this sort of arrangement. This excuse of having a career as a 'homemaker' is wearing very thin when one decides the grass is greener and wants a cash handout to take with them.

ITA.
(And no, I'm not Mrs Woody! :rotfl:)

liney

Clive_Woody wrote: »

My wife and I both work full time, we have neither a cleaner or a cook, I suspect we are not alone in this sort of arrangement. This excuse of having a career as a 'homemaker' is wearing very thin when one decides the grass is greener and wants a cash handout to take with them. The ageism excuse for not getting a job is equally as poor.



Some men should employ a cleaner rather than have a wife: at least she would be upfront about taking his money and running and will most likely do a better job!

And if you BOTH do the housekeeping then thats all well and good. I am going to take a wild stab in the dark and assume that The Mrs was responsible for the house hold chores as her role was housewife, and her husband who worked outside the home did just that; worked outside the home.

Again, if her husband was happy to come home to his pipe and slippers and meal on the table, then she did contribute and do her job; housewife.

melancholly

all relationships are different - i could never be a stay at home kept woman, other friends do this and have perfectly happy marriages. i don't want to condemn them for this as i'm not there every day to see how it works.

right now, neither the husband or the wife will be giving objective accounts of their marriage, so it will be very hard to establish the truth while there is so much animosity. as has been said so so so many times, complaining about not getting a job 20 years after the event just won't wash!

paddy's_mum

As a previous poster has already pointed out, most of this is totally irrelevant. Go back to the original post and read in virtually the first line the comment "he and his wife (my emphasis) have now decided that they wish to go their separate ways".

That sounds to me as though it is/was a joint decision, as clearly has so much else been in the length of this marriage. All the comment about daytime tv and sat on bum in the world won't alter the likelihood that she will indeed get half of their joint assets.

Perhaps she feels that he was a workaholic and the pay-off for all the years of loneliness, benign neglect and unhappiness should not be penury/destitution in her twilight years.

margaretclare

I think that those who pointed out that the 'ageism excuse is wearing thin' should consider that this woman has not been in the workplace for 40 years, during which there have been enormous changes, and during which she has probably become less strong, supple and active than she used to be. Try doing an unskilled care assistant job and be on your feet all day, lifting etc. The alternative would be unskilled office work, but that has disappeared. I would guess she has lost her typing speed and hasn't touched a computer. Can't think of many other jobs that a woman approaching 60 would be considered for!

Margaret

Clive_Woody

Ms_Piggy wrote: »

ITA.
(And no, I'm not Mrs Woody! :rotfl:)

Hooray some common sense. Cheers Ms Piggy, nice to know there are some other sane people left in this mad mad world.

skintmostofthetime

This started as a plea for help and turned into a `womens lib' thing. I accept a lot of the things said but - STICK TO THE POINT !
Offer help/advise/sympathy even but please - STOP MOANING ABOUT IT.

Clive_Woody

margaretclare wrote: »

I think that those who pointed out that the 'ageism excuse is wearing thin' should consider that this woman has not been in the workplace for 40 years, during which there have been enormous changes, and during which she has probably become less strong, supple and active than she used to be. Try doing an unskilled care assistant job and be on your feet all day, lifting etc. The alternative would be unskilled office work, but that has disappeared. I would guess she has lost her typing speed and hasn't touched a computer. Can't think of many other jobs that a woman approaching 60 would be considered for!

Margaret

This woman has not been in the workplace for 40 years because she has been sat around watching daytime TV. She could have started looking a long time ago, but chose not to and decided to sponge off her husband. I hardly believe the excuse she was unable to start looking as she was busy looking after their son for the last 40 years.

By all accounts she could have been looking for work a good 20 years ago, or are you suggesting the fragile female form starts falling apart at the tender age of 40? :rolleyes:

margaretclare

Clive_Woody wrote: »

This woman has not been in the workplace for 40 years because she has been sat around watching daytime TV. She could have started looking a long time ago, but chose not to and decided to sponge off her husband. I hardly believe the excuse she was unable to start looking as she was busy looking after their son for the last 40 years.

By all accounts she could have been looking for work a good 20 years ago, or are you suggesting the fragile female form starts falling apart at the tender age of 40?

You have no idea that 'she was sat around watching daytime TV'. You have no idea at all what she was doing. This is disgusting. Unless you somehow had CCTV following her, you just don't know.

Margaret