My friend needs your help, wife threatening to take everything!!

TheWaltons_3

Do you know what?

If you readmy previous response in other threads, you will see I am completely against Women milking men and winning completely in divorce. I have also stated that should I divorce my husband (4 years) no way would I want a claim in his future earnings/pensions.... I am 24 by the way.

BUT you expect a 60 odd year old Woman to start a new life and manage financially at this stage in the game???

In this case, she is deserving of half of everything. Why should her life suffer? And, as you say, if he has put his back out working hard hours for his own interests - what a happy fulfilled life she would have had sitting at home without him for all these years.

borosteve_2

If they only have one child who is 40 the husbands biggest mistake was not telling her to get off her a**e and get a job when the son left home (unless he's still at home then its beyond me ).

simon-dupree

I think people are missing the point of the real problem here,what is distressing in any long marriage (to either party) is that one party or the other can just say I want a divorce and wreck the other persons life by splitting there assets in two .This no fault divorce system operating in the UK that the lawyers have cunningly devised so they can still make allot of money sorting the financial side out of a divorce but want little or nothing to do with the MORAL side leaves terrible injustices whereby your spouse can run off with your neighbour and wreck your life.

Without knowing precise details of circumstances its difficult to assess accurately but in a long marriage with a good lawyer fasten your seatbelt sir you are in for a rough ride. 50-50 starters with 70-30 (in her favour) if the wife cannot support herself because she has been a stay at home and look the children housewife (with no future earning capacity).

My heart goes out to anyone in this situation often through no major fault of their own other than the other partner gets bored,has a life crisis and falls for another person.

Usually whatever anyone tells you in this scenario there is usually another person lurking somewhere!!!


Simon

NovaBlack_2

yeah gotta say finished law degree 2 years ago. one of the main things we did in family law was this kinda issue.

Whilst accepting no liability for error or innaccuracy in what i say, i am pretty sure that the courts will see the situation in a favourable way for the wife.

Although he (the husband) worked, the wife stayed at home to look after the children and this will be seen as an equal contribution. it will infact be seen that it was as a direct result of her 'homemaker' contribution, that he was in fact able to work full time. so 50/50 is probably the most likely starting point, the line being moved based on any mitigating circumstances each side can present.

however after the age of 18 (when the child can support him/herself and no longer needed the wife to remain home in a parental role) then it could be argued that the wife should have perhaps contributed financially and therefore should perhaps get less in the final settlement.


wether or not people morally agree with the woamns 'place in the home' and 'homemaker contribution' debate, is kind of irrellavant .. this is how the courts look at it wether we like it or not...

i understand why your friend feels aggreived as he is 65 and this is what he has worked for, but objectively looking at this situation, if he took everything the wife would be left with nothing and as she is a similar age, and the last 65 years of her life would have resulted (financially) in nothing for her...

its a difficult situation all round

teacup_2

I would just like to say , I am a housewife and my children are 8 and 10. I put a lot of effort in to my home and family. Prepare lovely meals, pick ups drop offs , washing , ironing etc. See friends and family in the week. In the way its like being a personal assistant!. My hubby is happy with this arrangement. I dont feel undervalued (occasionally if I am a bit moody maybe !). This works for us and I am happy too , I will be going to college and doing a course soon and want to pursue it as a career eventually, but I am taking my time enjoying my family and supporting the children and my husband in the meantime. He is happy for me to have leisure time and does not see me as a sponger, lazy or a leech. I see my job as keeping the family ticking over and happy. I go without and in a way see it as lucky that i dont work. If I did work I know I would be more irritable and not be able to have everything to the standard I like. My husband does not resent me as i respect him and look after him and he looks after me by being the finacial provider. We go without holidays and manage to scrape by and dont live beyond our means. In fact the kids are having a great fun today sliding down the lawn on a huge plastic covering laced with washing up liquid having a ball !!!!. Every couple/ family are different with regard to this post no one knows them and they both may have been happy to live this way for a long time, but now for them it has tured sour and its being used as a source to say the lady is lazy when I bet he was happy eith it at the time, or was he? no one knows.:rotfl: Now it s turned horrible and its being used as a bad thing

consultant31

Clive_Woody wrote: »

I make no claim of occupying the moral highground, I simply wanted to provide some balance to the crazed feminist rants that the OP first post provoked. I also wanted to point out that there is no need for abusive posts simply because somebody makes a point you disagree with. Some of the flak that the OP has received when she asked for advice has been well out of order and not at all in the spirit of this site.

I had to laugh when I got lambasted for jumping to conclusions, I guess irony is word many are unfamiliar with!

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You don't seriously expect them to let facts get in the way of a good rant.

I have been accused of jumping to conclusions and claiming the moral high-ground, if it wasn't so pathetic you would have to laugh at them. The irony of it all is quite overwhelming! :T

Basically I think your original post was seem by some as a slight on the whole female species and likely to set the feminist movement back years....don't ask me how they reached this conclusion (strong medication and a few short circuits up top would be my guess)?

First post quoted that there is no need to be abusive, immediately followed by suggestions that posters who disagree are on strong medication and barmy .............is that not abusive?

The at the end of each post doesn't take the sting out CW - I think you're here as devil's advocate, with a big stirring spoon!

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To the OP I would like to say that no-one knows what really goes on in a marriage, no matter how friendly you are with one partner, but as the loving wife of a work-aholic, I can tell you it's not much fun. I have spent many, many lonely hours, had no family holidays and brought our children up almost single handedly while my husband built up a business over the last 30 years.

I did go out to work when the children started school, but it was more for company than money. Now I have had to retire for family reasons, and OH is too old to work the same sort of hours, the children have left home and we are, at last, starting to have a proper married life and having a holiday each year (though it's only for a week!).

That we are still together is testament to my determination not to be a statistic in the divorce courts. I am a dedicated non-quitter and OH is the first to admit not many women would have stayed the course

teacup_2

Well said , and I think it is testament to the fact that marriage is a partnership and it is not a case of who does what , it is a loving partership where you care for each other , and ride the highs and lows.
I am thankfull I am not married to a certain poster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as I bet they are argumentative and disagreeable everything you dont want in a partner:j