Help and advice needed

Mashpd84

Or I need to do less hours and days at work I seem to have no time to do anything

Mashpd84

Yes mum used to get upset saying she felt she was holding me back and because I used to see her upset I used to say it's ok don't worry and no your not

itsanne

Mashpd84 wrote: »

Stilling waiting to change my life around waiting until other half as worked his notice at work then he will hopefully have more time

Do you mean he has handed in his notice or in the same timescale as before?

itsanne

Also, re ^^^, has anything changed since you posted last month? Sitting waiting for your fiance isn't enough for you to achieve what you want.

Mashpd84

Handed in his notice
I know you are right it's not enough to achieve what I want
Still feeling low about things

*max*

So, this fianc! of yours (whom you haven't ever lived wth), upon hearing you had got into money, suddenly decided to forget about his "highly paid, higly reposnsible job" and his well-laid plans of saving for a good pension and just quit his job?

Alarm bells. Massive alarm bells!

Mojisola

Mashpd84 wrote: »

My fianc! lives in his own home all paid for and we have been together nearly 20yrs living this separate lives

I recently come into some money and i/we can't decide wether to buy a property ? part buy part rent ? just rent ?

And his property he sees as he own

*max* wrote: »

So, this fianc! of yours (whom you haven't ever lived wth), upon hearing you had got into money, suddenly decided to forget about his "highly paid, higly reposnsible job" and his well-laid plans of saving for a good pension and just quit his job?

Alarm bells. Massive alarm bells!

Especially seeing that he views what's his as his alone whereas he already wants to be involved in what Mashpd84 does with hers.

harrys_nan

Mashpd84.
Please take care you do not lose everything, I have a bad feeling about this.
If you buy a property put into you name only, no joint accounts either.If he is genuine and wants a life with you eg marriage, kids etc he will either sell his property and you both together buy a new place to live, or he will add you to his mortgage/house so you both co-own the house
You have been so thoughtful in putting other first, that you have forgotten to look after YOU.
Look after No 1 for a change.

Candyapple

[FONT=&quot]I don’t think this man has any intention of settling down into the married life or fatherhood. Think about it, he’s in his 50s, most men who want(ed) children would have brought up the subject / had them many, many years ago. Do you really think he sees himself doing the early mornings/lack of sleep/spending all his pension money on a young child when he’ll be in his 60s? What would you do if he turned round and said to you that he didn’t want kids? [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]From a stranger’s perspective, Snakey’s post #13 says it all really. I think you’ve been used for the majority of your life. Between your mum and your partner and your own inability to stand up for yourself, you have coasted through life with your head in the sand. Sadly for you, it has come back to bite you in the bum and I think you are going to have some tough decisions to make, otherwise you are going to end up even older and even more depressed at how another 10/20/30 years have gone by and nothing has changed. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]To summarise, I don’t think the relationship will last. Also post #37 is very concerning. You should talk to your local authority/social services about getting home care help for your mum and then perhaps talk to your GP to refer you for counselling or help with your confidence issues as you do sound very overwhelmed. Good luck OP, I think you are going to need it. [/FONT]

sheramber

Mashpd84 wrote: »

Handed in his notice
I know you are right it's not enough to achieve what I want
Still feeling low about things

So what are his plans for the future now?