Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

tea_lover

Having a panic about life Feel totally overwhelmed and irritated at work (and have only been here 5 mins as it took me well over an hour to drive 12 miles this morning). Feel bombarded with stupid requests already and am really struggling not to tell them all to stick it and go home. My boss just talks and talks and talks but doesn't actually say anything useful. I ask a simple question, he talks non-stop for half an hour but doesn't go anywhere near answering the bloody question. Have never met anyone who loves the sound of their own voice that much.

Also feeling annoyed and let down by the brownie leader who is supposed to be in charge of our unit. I have serious doubts that she's actually qualified, which is making my life so much harder.

Have got too much to do, stuff on every night, things to organise, stuff breaking around the house, and it's just building up and building up and nothing's getting done. Feel so out of my depth with life. My brain's racing, I can genuinely feel my heart beating too fast... am just not coping.

And to top it all off am feeling overwhelmed with wanting to see FOH. I'm trying so hard not to but it's just not working I drove past an accident this morning (part of the reason for the big delay) and there was a vehicle involved a tiny bit like one of FOHs. It wasn't even that similar but I felt such utter panic, I couldn't breathe.

whitewing

Hopefully you've had a cuppa and are feeling better, tea.

Irritability can be a sign of depression. I know it is one of my symptoms sometimes.

Have you tried speaking to the stalking helpline? I am not trying to annoy you further but I genuinely can't remember your thoughts on that.

elsien

That sounds hard, Tea. Is there anything you're doing at the moment that you could knock on the head for a while to give you a bit of breathing space? Have you got any leave you could use to help you get a bit of a grip on things at home.
I know that feeling where everything is whirring around so much that it you end up doing nothing because you don't know where to start - it's horrible.
Do you have to speak to boss to ask your questions? Is there somewhere else you could go to to work in peace so you could email questions to the boss rather than have him talk at you?
Otherwise, just shove the stupid requests to the bottom of the list - chances are by the time they work their way to the top they'll have sorted themselves out anyway.

Pyxis

Would your Dad be able to help you with any of the broken things?

Would it be of help to prioritise the stuff into three groups.......Very Urgent Do ASAP / Quite Urgent Do Within 7Days / Not Urgent Leave For Now.......?


Just making those lists will let you feel you're doing something about them.

Then have a cup of tea.

Pyxis

Another thought, Tea.

Would it help to go away for a short while? Even if just for a weekend? Being somewhere else might enable you to de-fuzz the brain a bit?

Perhaps go and visit a friend?

onomatopoeia99

tea_lover wrote: »

Have got too much to do, stuff on every night, things to organise, stuff breaking around the house, and it's just building up and building up and nothing's getting done. Feel so out of my depth with life.

That sounds so familiar to me, as it was me once. My memory of finding myself living alone after years of being with someone is that it felt like it felt like being cast adrift, so much to do and no ability to focus on doing any of it. That's ignoring the emotional impact of the end of the relationship and just thinking of day to day living. Living with someone imposed a structure to life and with that gone, I basically stumbled through everything I needed to do and it was all I could manage to get myself to work each day. Went on for months and months like that as well until I regained some equilibrium.

That's probably not what you want to hear, but I believe that what you're experiencing in this regard is something that affects at least some people much more than they expect, it's not so easy to just slot into a new way of living your life.

I would say that if you're out every evening you should seriously look at your commitments. If most of them are regular things that mean you're rarely going to have a free evening midweek then consider dropping some of them. I've also been through that, I used to agree to do anything I was asked with my hobby, partly through enthusiasm and partly through finiding it so hard to say no. Eventually I realised it was too much. It has taken me best part of a decade but I've finally managed to get myself off of almost every committee I used to be on, I now have one monthly and one quarterly left, plus my evening class once a week (plus time taken up with homework) and that's a level I can sustain. Though I have been told I have become a hermit

Pyxis

That all sounds very true, Ono.

Tea, you've had a huge upheaval, and it's still happening, so it's no wonder you're in turmoil.

Ono's experiences seem very relevant, too.

tea_lover

A trip would be so lovely but haven't got a free day for weeks unfortunately (including weekends). Have definitely over-committed! I've gone from having far too little going on in my life to very much the other end of the scale... never one to do things by halves lol.

A lot of the problem with FOH* was that I just didn't have much else going on, so I over-thought and over-relied on the relationship. Now I'm so much busier with work and life in general but it's too late to see if that would have made a difference.

*I do of course realise that a lot of the problem was also that he behaved terribly, but nothing is ever totally one-sided.

In addition to desperately wanting to speak to him anyway, I also genuinely need to ask him some stuff about the joint account. I spend pretty much every waking minute these days kicking myself for ever involving the police, I really do think it was a massive mistake for a lot of reasons. But now I'm stuck with that decision. I haven't even heard from them in nearly a month - it is SO tempting to just pretend the police / court stuff isn't happening and contact him anyway.

ETA: thanks ono. I really do need to cut back on some stuff. I've gone from maybe one night out of the house every few weeks, to every single night every week. Have got full days planned sat and sun this weekend too and just feel sick at the thought of it all.

Pyxis

Tea, it sounds like you need a neutral party to contact him about the bank account. Would the stalking person be able to help? Otherwise, perhaps a call to Policebaby.



I can still remember how very frightened you were, Tea, and that's why you phoned the police. :A

elsien

tea_lover wrote: »

ETA: thanks ono. I really do need to cut back on some stuff. I've gone from maybe one night out of the house every few weeks, to every single night every week. Have got full days planned sat and sun this weekend too and just feel sick at the thought of it all.

Cancel them. Or just some of them if you think a whole weekend on your own would make things worse. If you were physically unwell you wouldn't be able to go - this isn't really any different. If you're not up to it, you're not up to it, whatever the reason.