Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

mellymoo74

Bless him

He really is daft

tea_lover

He's also popped up on pof again. Haha, I feel so special now, being contacted again 6 weeks after a cancelled date. Muppet.

You'll be pleased to hear that I'm not the slightest bit interested in what he's got to say, and I won't be replying. Only posted about it on here because it's so funny!

jobbingmusician

SS - I hope you'll be OK with penguins - please do post whatever you feel comfortable with. xxxxx

WaS - hope you are OK and CLEAN, with a nice ROTA. I've got a wonderful youtube sloth for you when you can report progress!!!!

mellymoo74

Every where is clean.
Just got contacted by asb help to see if I would be happy to tell my story to the press to highlight the failings of the community trigger.

Hell to the yes

Waves_and_Smiles

That was really brave of you to mention, Sue. You are always welcome to tell us of any subject that is difficult for you and we will do our best to make things better for you, but I also understand that there are lots of reasons why you might not want to do that. I used to have a LOT of triggers about very innocent subjects which I eventually learnt to get control of after literally years of CBT but I still have a couple that are so ingrained that no amount of therapy will shift them.

What I find helpful when they come up is to immediately remind myself that this about another person not me, I am not them and they are not me. When the bad feelings start I say Stop! and imagine a wall crashing down between me and the trigger, sometimes I shout Stop out loud to jolt myself out of the bad thought pattern.

Acknowledging that it was a trigger FOR ME at the time also helps me. Not for other people, for me. It isn't a huge thing that the world is terrified of, other people cope fine with it but I am not doing so because of my own experiences. This then leads me on to think that if others aren't afraid perhaps I don't have to be so afraid and it is just the bad tapes replaying in my head, They can't hurt me anymore unless I allow them to do so.. For example, I have a huge problem with religion. Not the realities of religion, but the way my mother twisted it to suit it to her to hurt me. Having people on this thread mention they have been to church or seeing signatures about religion doesn't actually trigger me, it comforts me. Maybe the big scary thing isn't so bad after all if other people find comfort in it, perhaps I don't have to be so afraid? By being exposed a tiny bit to my trigger in a positive way makes it less scary for me. It also helps me differentiate between how religion was portrayed to me and how it is in reality, they aren't the same thing at all.

I shall stop rambling now, there are many different ways to deal with triggers and it is an experiment to which one works best for you. We want everyone to feel as comfortable as they can here, and your triggers sue, are as valid as everyone else's and should be taken into account.

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahaha! I am sparkling clean, JM! I had a shower and put real clothes on an hour ago! I slept for almost the whole day yesterday and woke up today to an email from my psychiatrist telling me he thinks it is a bad idea to drop the medication back down before the ESA assessment is done just in case it all goes wrong.

He also vaguely mentioned that my body may adapt to a slightly higher dose (not this current huge dose!) if we give it a bit of time so that we do not have drop things back quite so low. This would help with the psychosis but at the same time I live in fear of permanent side effects on this anti-psychotic so I am not certain.

My mother had very bad tardive dyskinesia as a result of years of being on a high dose of this and I get it when the dose is increased for a few hours, I DO NOT want it to become permanent. Not only is it incredibly annoying, it is embarrassing, scary and it triggers me! I have been on this medication for 22 years now and I am already pushing my luck, so we may be having a discussion about medication doses very soon.

SingleSue

Pyxis wrote: »

Sue, I think that difficulty seems to be not so much that we discuss stuff that might be triggers, because they are usually penguined, but that you have to read the penguins because of the OCD. For "completion", so to speak.

Can you think of a way round that? Is there any process we can put in place whereby triggers can still be penguined, but would enable you to opt out of reading the penguins?

Please feel free to make suggestions.

I know that sometimes we penguin without indicating what the penguin trigger might be. Would it help if we were more conscientious about 'labelling' the penguin, or would you still feel compelled to read it even if it were labelled with one of your triggers?







(Edit.....I've amended the Etiquette to ask people to be sure to indicate the type of penguin. That will help everybody, I think!)

I like your idea of amending the penguin so it gives an indication, I think that could work for others too.

My penguin is something that a lot of people talk about particularly after Christmas or pre going on holiday. Well I say penguin, that part is only a minor one but it is where it moves on a step that it becomes a penguin for me.

In the past I have tried to deal with the more minor penguin by posting on one of the threads related to it and for a time it appeared to be working and I thought I had beaten it and could control my temptation to move it to the further step. Unfortunately though, those bad thoughts/behaviours started coming back in and I had to step away from the thread to bring it back under control.

You would have thought that after 34 years (this is when it first occurred), I would have got a proper handle on it by now, especially as the original topic is such a very normal, every day topic of conversation. This is what makes it awkward for penguining the topic, it is a very normal run of the mill conversation, I even do it when I am feeling strong!

jobbingmusician

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Hahahaha! I am sparkling clean, JM! I had a shower and put real clothes on an hour ago!

wooooo! Your reward.....

http://www.viralvo.com/sloth-flower/

Waves_and_Smiles

34 years is nothing Sue, don't be hard on yourself. I have had triggers for 40 years and counting. No one would expect you to get over an ingrained trigger fully, I know some of mine will be with me for life. I always write Penguin about... before my penguins to give people an idea whether to avoid them or not, perhaps that might help a little?

The way triggers were explained to me was something bad may happen to you and you see a blue mug at the time. From that point onwards blue mugs might very well become a trigger to you. Something totally innocent that no one else would think of as being triggering can be huge to the person who has that association. There are no silly triggers, it all depends on the individual and all triggers are equally valid.

Waves_and_Smiles

Awwwwww! That is adorable, JM! What a beautiful video! I want to be that woman, I'd probably cry.