Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

calleyw

mellymoo74 wrote: »

You were right Calley
I also measured myself

As those with EDs know you constantly think about food, plan when your going to let yourself eat and what.

my problem is I have a giant scar on my stomach and the muscles weren't reattached properly this means it doesn't matter how small I get I have a large lump I can focus on, this is what I'm currently doing. So 23" waist but an inch of that is muscle that won't move go or change.

I need to work way to much time to think currently

Oh Melly have another very gentle hug. I wish I could wave a magic wand to help you.

Please take care.

Yours

Calley

tea_lover

I've got first counselling session tomorrow evening and am terrified, but I don't really know why/what of. I couldn't sleep last night for worrying about it (not great with a 5.30am start). I suppose it's the unknown aspect, as I just don't know what to expect. I've got very (far too) good over the past few years at burying thoughts - doing something to specifically dig them up still seems a bit counterproductive.

But, similar to you Pyxis, I realise that things are still having an impact and it would be nice to move on/away/learn how to deal with that, at least to some extent.

Always interested in hearing other people's experiences of this.

calleyw

tea_lover wrote: »

I've got first counselling session tomorrow evening and am terrified, but I don't really know why/what of. I couldn't sleep last night for worrying about it (not great with a 5.30am start). I suppose it's the unknown aspect, as I just don't know what to expect. I've got very (far too) good over the past few years at burying thoughts - doing something to specifically dig them up still seems a bit counterproductive.

But, similar to you Pyxis, I realise that things are still having an impact and it would be nice to move on/away/learn how to deal with that, at least to some extent.

Always interested in hearing other people's experiences of this.

Tea, I had private counseling and I found it very hard. It brought up stuff I did not want to think about. But in a lot of sessions I cried or got upset and it wore out my emotions.

But I am glad I did it. It helped but did not cure me.

Yours

Calley

tea_lover

I think I'm worried about making myself feel worse!

calleyw

Pyxis wrote: »

The awful procrastination, continuous failed relationships (friends and partners), comfort eating etc. I'm sick of it all so maybe CBT will help.

Pyxis,

Have a massive hug and squish. I can see from chatting to you on here you are a really nice caring kind person.

I also know how you feel. I am sick of feeling like this too. And really just kind of bobbling along like you do. And getting by.

Yours

Calley

heartbreak_star

Tired, stressed, nervy, fat, ugly, uncaring, anxious and self doubting. That's me today.

Please send love and positivity.

HBS x

calleyw

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Tired, stressed, nervy, fat, ugly, uncaring, anxious and self doubting. That's me today.

Please send love and positivity.

HBS x

HBS,

In to the fort with you. For hugs and squishes.

Yours

Calley

tea_lover

*tucks HBS into a corner bed in the fort... goes to get tea and biscuits*

whitewing

Re petticoat - be daring.

HBS - lots of love to you.

Littlewing has been sleeping in with me while she has been poorly but she only woke me up twice last night. I didn't get out of bed until 10.30 this morning. We've got colds now on top of everything else.

DH managed get time off work after all. Probably because I told him I was going to phone his boss. So we went off to a community hospital that I haven't been to before for my scan. It is a lovely place, bright and airy and quiet. The lady who did the scan was lovely. I'd already mentally booked myself in for an immediate hysterectomy and was quite tearful at the prospect of terminal cancer, not having a little brother for littlewing and not being a stay at home mum (none of which I have particularly wanted before). Anyway, it turns out their is nothing obviously malignant and the scan results will be with the GP in about a week.

I even feel silly for taking the whole day off work but I think I need the rest anyway. So I shall read my book and remind myself that I don;t have to know/understand/control every element of my life.

whitewing

pyxis, you are one of my heroes. Sorry you feel rubbish but I am also a little surprised as you seem a very 'sorted' person to me.