Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahaha it's not just you, tea! I love my budgets! Imagine me, as someone with OCD which is largely about numbers, synchronisation and colours. You want to see my spreadsheets, they are spectacular, I tell you! I spent as long choosing the colours for each row and altering the font as I did filling in the columns. In fact, if I am stressed I play with my budget spreadsheets and it calms me. Did I just admit this?

tea_lover

Oh WaS, am so glad it's not just me! A nice bit of conditional formatting is like a treat It's basically colouring in!

onomatopoeia99

Well done MU, as everyone has said, acknowledging the problem is really important, as it allows you to start tackling it.

I am hugely in debt, but it's a mortgage, so no-one thinks twice about it. I have a spreadsheet to keep track of everything, page for budgets, page for savings, and I've written it to do projections of when my savings will be more than my outstanding mortgage balance, a date that keeps receeding (buying second hand computers doesn't help this goal!)

calleyw

MU have a massive hug. You have admitted not just to yourself but Swain and you know he is a honey. And will support you.

Its not easy to get out of debt. When I was 21 I got in debt with an £800 overdraft and used it as deposit on a house. They would never let you do that today LOL!!! Anyway I treated it like any other bill. it got paid every month £50 off. Until it was all gone.

As has been said don't forget to allow for treats. And don't forget the obvious things like washing powder, toiletries etc. Best place for things like that are savers and poundland and if you have poundword, B&M and home bargains local. all apart from savers sell food which is cheap as well. And if you are lucky some even have fridge stock. A lot of my face care, makeup, shampoo and conditioner comes from Aldi, poundland and poundworld. And a lot of the stuff from poundland and world are brand names as well.

Also for presents for birthday or xmas ask for things that you would use and need such as nice toiletries or even vouchers for certain shops so you can buy what you need.

And don't forget to allow a small amount to be put away for xmas and birthday presents. Even if its a £5 a month. its better than nothing.

When you are in debt its horrible and you can't see the wood for the tress. But it is just money and they can't take what you don't have. Don't forget that who ever you owe money to would rather you were up front and honest and explain the situation and work something out with them. Then let it get out of hand.

Have another massive hug.

Take care

Yours

Calley

Birdie85

Big hugs MU. Well done for facing up to your issues and sharing with Swain. I'm not great with money and am very lucky that my DH is (after years of his own money issues!). The idea of having separate accounts is a good one as are all of the budgeting tips already been given here. You can do it! Have you got any ways of making extra money? Selling on ebay, mystery shopping, make and sell stuff on FB/etsy?

Big squishy hugs for everyone who talked about not having children the other day. It took a fair while to concieve Baby Bird and we'd actually discussed giving up and being happily child free just before finding out that I was pregnant. And now he's 2 and very funny, but very hard work too! I don't know how people have a brood of kids and stay sane! He loved his birthday, we went to a little indoor zoo where he ran around with his cousin looking at fish and birds and meercats and all sorts then we had chocolate cake at home, he kept asking for 'More!' (one of his favourite words ATM!)

My Weigh-in [strike]Wednesday[/strike] Thursday update!

Lost 3lbs! :T Not sure how as I went off the rails a little over the weekend, although I suppose it wasn't that bad as it was just some naughty meals that I had, I still stayed away from snacking and drinking tooooo much, so that must have helped!

Postives from last week:
1. I did some exercise! Mon-Wed I got up early and did some exercise (just a little, but every little helps!) before getting ready. Should have done it this morning but I was lazy and stayed in bed!
2. My jeggings that I bought in the January sales, that fit perfectly when I bought them, were falling down yesterday. Both a good thing and a bad thing as I hate the saggy-bum feeling when wearing trousers and I really like them, but obviously it's good that I'm shrinking!
3. Had a lovely day off work yesterday and enjoyed nice food and cake without piling on the guilt.

Positives for the week ahead:
1. Keep up doing little bits of exercise here and there. DH (who is in constant physio for one thing or another from a lifetime of rugby and many years of working manual jobs) does 50 squats when brushing his teeth since he's just stood there doing nothing anyway, so I'm going to do this too!
2. Try to fit in a nice long walk (weather permitting) over the weekend, good exercise and it blows the cobwebs away!
3. Get my crafting mojo back and make the big holiday photo frame that I've been meaning to do since we got back from our holiday in November!

calleyw

Morning Shipmates,

Hugs, squishes and handshakes to all that need them.

Right I am on my 3rd load of washing. Don't ask LOL!!!! think the sun shine and has gone to my head and I have started to spring clean. Washed my bed spread. The other two loads one which is in the machine is as I type. Both bedding as changed the bed and had some extras that needed washing.

well pulled the mother of all dust bunnies from out under the bed :rotfl:

Cleaned the bathroom as well. Re-made the bed and aired the entire house.

What colour underskirt should I get. Should I go boring and get white/black or be more daring????

I want to try and get it via amazon as have a £10 voucher with them.

Melly do you think that is a good idea to weigh yourself. it may cause more harm than good. have a very gentle hug.

Yours

Calley

mellymoo74

You were right Calley
I also measured myself

As those with EDs know you constantly think about food, plan when your going to let yourself eat and what.

my problem is I have a giant scar on my stomach and the muscles weren't reattached properly this means it doesn't matter how small I get I have a large lump I can focus on, this is what I'm currently doing. So 23" waist but an inch of that is muscle that won't move go or change.

I need to work way to much time to think currently

tea_lover

calleyw wrote: »

well pulled the mother of all dust bunnies from out under the bed :rotfl:

When I was packing up my old house I pulled a box out from under the bed. The dust on it was so thick it had v obvious cat footprints in it. I didn't have a cat! Proper freaked me out that did :rotfl:

Well done on all the spring cleaning, you can come and air my house if you're bored

calleyw

tea_lover wrote: »

When I was packing up my old house I pulled a box out from under the bed. The dust on it was so thick it had v obvious cat footprints in it. I didn't have a cat! Proper freaked me out that did :rotfl:

Well done on all the spring cleaning, you can come and air my house if you're bored

OMG.

Ok as long as you have coffee and jaffa cakes in :rotfl:

Yours

Calley

Pyxis

WaS, can I ask you about psychodynamic therapy? How does it differ from psychotherapy per se, and also how does it differ from CBT?

I am thinking of seeing a CBT therapist privately. The horrid family stuff is never going to go away, ever, and I can't live like this day in, day out, feeling so desperately unhappy and having it cloud and spoil everything I do. Plus there are a myriad of other things.... The awful procrastination, continuous failed relationships (friends and partners), comfort eating etc. I'm sick of it all so maybe CBT will help.

Some articles say that it only has a short-term effect, though. About two years max. What do you think about that?
That's why I'm asking about psychodynaimic therapy as some sources say it can have a more permanent effect than CBT. To be honest, I don't feel that I want to have psychoanalysis though. Don't know why.

(Possibly because years ago, I saw a psychotherapist briefly on the NHS, and he made me feel small and useless. I don't know what form of therapy he was using, but it put me off big time!)

Plus, even a short-term relief from feeling like this would help, I think, just to have some respite.

So, would be very grateful for your views.