Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

Flybaby

Love the spoon!

mellymoo74

Is uni any easier fly?

WW your hormones will be outta wack as well which could be impacting on mood.

Have now decided that I'm forgetting about first company they are blowing smoke up my bottom.

calleyw

FB,

Yes I do get all of that. But I can't go back to the way I was. Basically crying and shivering under a 13.5tog duvet in the middle of the night. Convinced that I had done something really bad. And people were going to die because of it.

its like tonight I am chatting on-line to a few people. So feeling a bit better. Got up and have showered and washed my hair. Come down stairs to air my bed that I have been in for nearly 24 hrs:eek:

I don't know what the answer is. Yes I do need to be mentally stimulated. I have always been a loner due to the fact that we lived outside of the village and all my friend lived in it. And we where not allowed to walk in to the village as it was not that safe due to traffic. we use to leave 5 min walk from the canal. I use to spend a lot time walking along it.

Yours

Calley

faerielight

Penguin.. I hope the white text works :

Hi guys , I'm not having a very good day, and I'm having a bit of a health scare. Because of my housing situation , I got a lost of my illnesses and meds to send to the council. I read it yesterday and it had the results of the CT scan I had last Nov, just before my last emergency surgery, but it also states that in my midline scar, I have a Richters hernia. I looked it up online and it's terrifying. It says that it is a very rare but highlighy dangerous form of hernia, imperceptable to the eye, only diagnosed through a CT scan, and that it requires promp surgery as it progresses quickly and will cause bowel gangrene, perforation, sepsis etc, which is what nearly killed me 5 years ago, and that it has a very high mortality rate.

I am really freaking out. I can't believe that my surgeon/gp didn't tell me. They withheld a diagnosis from me, 6 months after my original surgery/ bowel perf, because they know I have BPD and PTSD and didn't want to worry me. After that medical emergency no 2, I explicitly told all medics involved in my care to never withhold, a serious diagnosis, that without knowing what to look for, could potentially be life threatening.
I rang my surgeon's secretrary today, to try and chase up the appt with my surgeon that I was meant to have a month ago, for my 3 month post surgical check up, she said the hospital is even more in crisis than ever , and the nearest date I can get with him, is oct/nov, but most likely even longer. Then to order another CT scan, it would take a further 8 months minimum.

I just spoke to my gp, she confirmed i do have a richter's hernia, but she cant influence the hospital as it's not functioning. She told me to pay 150 to see my surgeon privately at The Nuffield.if want to not be at risk. It's ironic, I just got an apology from the chief exec of the hospital for the mental distress and physical damage caused by multiple surgery cancellations last year, but that there was nothing they can do to prevent the same happening again with my latest medical nightmare.This is a nightmare, an ongoing nightmare that keeps rolling on , year after year, putting me at risk , endangering my life, time after time. I just wish I could wake up for it, and be safe., but I'm not safe and I never will be.The NHS is broken and there's nout I can do.

Wellyboots6

Having thoughts which I am telling myself are just paranoia. Can't get over the fact that often I have not listened to my gut instinct, and it hasn't ended well.

How do I tell if it is paranoia/anxiety or actual gut instinct?

faerielight

I'm so sorry, I don't know why the text didnt go white x

Flybaby

Faerie - I have nothing useful to say...............just super big hug..........{{squish}}.......


Welly - hmmmm...........I call it my spidey sense and I always go with it.............just my opinion.


Moo - No........Just can't deal with the uni stuff right now.........the comedy of errors continues with the university.............**Sigh**.............it has not worked out the way it was supposed to at all. Might talk about it a bit when I can do so without swearing in every sentence.


Calley........I hear you.......take it at your own pace............but I am thinking of ya. (and I miss hiding under the duvet, everything is so much safer under the duvet! I popped out to budgens at lunchtime to get a few things and found while I was walking round that I was so nervous I couldn't catch my breath and I was shaking........no idea why...........always happens when shopping and its totally ridiculous. I just wanted to run out of the shop)


WaS - hope you are not panicking too much sweetie!

Flybaby

And I meant to say................following on from the gratefully received elastic band on trouser trick................. I have deftly remodelled my car air vents with elastic bands to hold my mp3 and mobile phone securely in place - no need to buy expensive plastic crappy holders etc - awesome money saving! (I don't actually use my phone whilst driving btw - very much against that - but am finding I am having to use the satnav thingy on it for navigating around for work)

Torry_Quine

ww hugs. Glad things worked out.
Calley not good. Take care
WAS Try not to panic. There's still time for them to receive it.
Pixie the spoon is lovely. I recently read a book about the first female silversmith.
(((((((Faerie))))) that's awful

Torry_Quine

I was watching a programme about old home movies and I ended up in tears. Not at the films themselves but remembering childhood holidays and knowing that I will never be having children of my own. Its so hard and doesn't that any easier.