Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

pollyanna_26

Sorry Was you posted again while Iwas typing . Ignore my last couple of posts . You need some proper advice . BB told you to contact her if you had any problems so please do that .You may still have it granted before the cut off date but you need a plan just in case
polly

mellymoo74

Agree with Polly that you should get BB in touch with then.

calleyw

Pyxis,

Love the spoon. Not seen it before. You made that.

how cool.

Yours

Calley

tea_lover

Love the spoon! You clever thing!!

Just about made it home in hire car, not looking forward to long drives over next few days. It has a weird handbrake that isn't a handbrake thing - you have to press the foot brake to turn it off....I don't have enough feet for that so stall. Let's hope there's no hills on the route!

Got music lesson this evening which involves tight three point turn down v dark farm track. In at the deep end!

Hang in there WaS, bureaucracy is slow xx

pollyanna_26

Thanks for the pic Pyxis. Do you use it or just treasure it ?
Tea At least no one will see you in the dark . Good luck .
polly

Pyxis

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

Thanks for the pic Pyxis. Do you use it or just treasure it ?
Tea At least no one will see you in the dark . Good luck .
polly

It was a present for someone.
It can be used, though.

whitewing

I have no choice but to go back to work tomorrow but I am not well enough. Unfortunately, I have no one else who I can get to do it.
As the tonsilitis got better, so the bleeding has returned.

I have been in bed having long, involved dreams all afternoon.

I have been tearful. Any newspaper article has found me with tears running down my cheeks. I was dreadfully upset when I read an article in the times about childless women, another about Malala made me cry and then something else did too.

I have somehow also seemed to convince myself that I am going to die. Considering I have spent nearly all of my teenage/adult life with suicidal thoughts, which I do not have despite the physical illness, it seems ironic that it upsets me so much that I have given myself a couple of years to live (with absolutely no medical basis for these thoughts - even the bleeding isn't that bad - it is not as if I have even felt like calling the doctor about it again).

Today I am full of suppressed rage, which I completely know is totally unreasonable. And I really do mean unreasonable and illogical. I was so angry that my DH had not put the sheet and duvet into the dryer earlier that I could barely talk to him. Yet I hadn't asked him to do so.

I have tension all over my body.

I really hope most of today's issue is if I forgot to take an antidepressant last night. I have no idea whether I took it or not, so perhaps I didn't.

I am dreading tomorrow. (Which at least means it will probably not be too bad).

calleyw

Oh WW have a massive hug love.

You have been ill and with the bleeding of course you are going to feel a bit on edge and have all sorts of things running through you head.

Take it easy and try and get a restful nights sleep.

Yours

Calley

pollyanna_26

Whitewing You are ill you had a worrying experience with LW and found your husband was unable to attend your scan . Add a missed dose of ad and you have a time bomb . I don't know if it is any help but for the last few weeks I have taken a step back from news media . I reached a point where it was having a massive impact on me . May be worth trying to deflect your mind in another direction for a while .
I hope you have a peaceful sleep tonight .
Love polly x

Flybaby

WW - big hug


WaS - really want to say don't panic, but it is so hard not to...........so, pick one of your little creatures to be your panic buddy and let him do the panic worrying!


Calley - Really difficult situation to be in so thought I would give you benfit of my experience so far. As you know I was not working before Christmas and in similar situation to you. I don't sleep much or well when I do and I was terrified, TERRIFIED, of going back to work. Managed to orchestrate a part time job and can honestly say it was NOWHERE near as bad as I thought. Is it stressing me out - yes............are there days where I know I haven't slept enough to be allowed outside........yes......do I still feel useless, worthless, what's the point etc etc? .......... yes...........BUT.......I have money coming in to pay the bills and that relieves a correspondingly large chunk of stress and I can honestly say that I think I am better off mentally as I am occupied most of the time. Going back to work has most certainly been good for my mental health for the time being.........not sure what I am doing or where I am going.........but I know it has been a good thing for my head to have other things to think about. I am not making friends or socialising with the new work people, I just go in, do my job and come away and am polite and nice, but keep my head down. I am terrified of getting too stressed and letting them down and getting ill and having to go sick..........but I am managing.......one day at a time........so, maybe give work a go? On balance I think I would recommend it. (And p.s. yep - I still spend some of my non-work days laying in bed wondering why we are here!!!!lol) I am hoping that getting back into a routine will spark some enjoyment of something in me and get me going again.....Hope all of that makes sense.