Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

whitewing

welly, are you and escapette okay?

Just checking in case baby blues have kicked in.

Hope all is well.

Wellyboots6

I'm OK thankyou WW, just so very tired. I've been getting emotional but not in a bad way really. I am reading the thread just struggle to write much now as the only time I get to read is when i am feeding so am one handed!
Escapette is beautiful, she is opening her eyes more now and looks for your face. Just wish I wasnt so tired and could enjoy her more.
Getting twitchy about other people holding her but trying to keep it in check. Got a family do on Saturday with hubbys family I don't really know, and worry she will be passed around like a parcel.

Hope everyone is well, and keep doing what you are doing Calley, you've made huge improvements in such a short space of time.

calleyw

Welly,

if you don't want other people to hold her you don't have to let them. Your baby, your rules. Don't worry if people think you are being funny.

You enjoy your time with her. As they do grow up fast.

Thanks. Even in a few days I think I have come on leaps and bounds. Took my friend nearly 6hrs to reply. I replied to them and still not heard back. But I am fine about it.

its like something has fallen in to place. But need to be careful that I don't become complacent about it. That is is something I need to work on all times. And be mindful about.

I had a friend around this evening and they said a funny thing that it looked like I have lost weight and they can see it in my face. Strange as I have lost 4lbs last week. And not even back down to what I was last time I saw them.

Anyway nearly bed time :rotfl:

Yours

Calley

System

Glad you've had some time to think and today ha been better for you Calley And glad you've been able to cope with textsand things better tday. You're doing really well. The thing with behaviours/thoughts is that they're never going to change overnight, but they can and will change if you stay mindful and progress with them .

Work was ok...got out late but in fairness to my supervisior we had 2 new starters on and i know they've ony been there a few weeks so they're not going to be the fastest at serving or doing jobs as its a lot to take in and they're still getting to grips with it. Albeit means i have to put in a little more effort but i'm feeling quite proud that i can say i actually worked my !!!! off today! I don;t feel i'm good at many things but i' starting to feel i am actually pretty good at my job *sorry if that sounds arrogant..don;t mean it to )

Also don't know why it took so long for me to get round to but have deleted my ex off facebook. I haven;t spoken to him in months anyway(ashamed to say i basically stopped replying as i felt if i tried talking he'd just take it as a sign to keep talking), the final straw was seeing him changed his realtionship status. It hit a nerve. Throughtout the relationship he refused point blank to do that with me, and the fact that he's back with his ex bascially made me feel a bit used to be honest, like i was just there until they worked things out and got back together. Well, its not healthy for me to think like that and i have Swain to concentrate my time and effort on, so deleting seemed the logical option. No point in letting old wounds stay open they need time to heal.

And last thing, i was recenctly feeling really crappy as i've not made time to see my best friend and his gf (or the little one) and i felt like i'd been a bad friend and it was too late to fix things (I know friendships are two way things but i feel they think i was so busy with work and bf that if they asked me id have been busy). Well, i got a surprise today as they both messaged me saying that they're coming out for my birthday I'm looking forward to seeing them and catching up.

Waves_and_Smiles

Please feel free to laugh at me uproariously.

Tonight we had a supermarket delivery. This comes from a supermarket that is closer to us than the one we usually use for in-store shopping but WaSp cannot find it. I had this in my mind when the delivery was due (here is where it all goes horribly wrong).

To my horror the delivery driver decided to help WaSp into the flat with the shopping, WaSp didn't realise he had followed him up. So I went into a total panic at a stranger in the open doorway and babbled a greeting and thought Argh! I have to think of something to say! so blurted "Where do you come from?" Meaning where is your store that we can't find? The delivery driver was black and I'm white and just...someone please shoot me.

I realised what I had said immediately and fell over myself apologising and explaining what I meant (and making it all so much more of an issue) whilst the driver burst out laughing and said "From London?!" with a huge grin on his face. At least I seem to have cheered up his evening and he was still laughing when he left. Oh, and we know where the store is now. I'll be in this hole if anyone wants me...

(I'm never coming out).

System

I feel like I'm on the verge of hypermania taking over

I'm on edge and jittery. My thoughts are crowded and crazy and won't slow down, I can't stop thinking but at the same time can't focus on one thing. Feeling slightly panicky but thankfully not paranoid (unless I'm being paranoid that I think I'm feeling hypermanic?).

Was trying to watch a programme but halfway through decided I neede to go lookin lg through my stuff in the cellar. Can't concentrate.

The worst thing is ive been taking my meds so why is this happening?! It only usually happens when I haven't taken my meds. Need to book a doctors appointment tomorrow with new doctors. Don't know how to approach this. They only ever seem concerned when my mood is depressive not hypermanic. Need to ground myself. But don't know how. Got told once I have good insight into my illness so I tend to recognise the wanting signs but what use is that if I can't do anything. Gonna take my meds and hope it calms my brain enough to sleep.

geminilady

xXMessedUpXx Hope the meds help you sleep,are you allowed to take an extra dose?If you still feel the same in the morning I would make an emergency appointment,something is wrong if nothing has happened to make you feel this way.Hope you manage to sleep.

System

geminilady wrote: »

xXMessedUpXx Hope the meds help you sleep,are you allowed to take an extra dose?If you still feel the same in the morning I would make an emergency appointment,something is wrong if nothing has happened to make you feel this way.Hope you manage to sleep.

Thanks, there'd be no harm in taking an extra dose (im on 5mg and the max is 20mg) that's helped in the past so I think that's what I will do. It might well be a case of adjusting my meds, appointment will be made asap hopefully sleep will be forthcoming and help.

Wellyboots6

Could it be the deleting the ex and the contract from the friend anything MU? Both emotional things really to happen in one evening after a busy day?

I'm awake at the moment sorting out for escapettes next feed. She has slept from 11pm which is something I have longed for, but now I am worrying because she has slept so well. Can't win!

Hubby says we don't have to stay long at the do on Saturday which is good. I will try and carry her round and just not offer for people to hold her. Hopefully not many people will directly ask.

WaS, I always get myself in situations like that! I carried a load of items to the till in a shop once, piled up to my eyes as I didn't pick up a basket. Put the items on the counter and the man asked if I'd like help with my packing. I replied 'yes please as I have no hands' meaning my hands were full. He packed my items and once enough had been packed that I could see again, I realised the man behind the till literally had no hands I panicked and babbled some sort of apology and ran out of the shop.

whitewing

welly, it's good to 'see' you!

With DS I was always grateful if others held him. I felt like I wasn't competent so it was good.

With DD, it was different. I was overwhelmed with a lot of extended family friction at the time that was not aimed at me but was stressing me out very badly. I didn't like people even looking at me and the baby, let alone being physically too close. We went to see MIL. She is a 'plaster photos all over facebook' type. She was trying to take photos constantly and I was sending pleading looks to DH. In the end, we had to go home. I felt 'intruded upon'. (Looking back, it was such a shame as DD was her first grandchild).

May be worth working out some 'polite-sounding' phrases that can help your DH know if he needs to step in to support you. They would have to be ones he could remember though. I've been to occasions that I have worried about beforehand, set down a list of 'rules' for DH and then got there and one lovely person seems to make everything alright. So the rules have changed instantly but DH is panicking trying to enforce the old rules.

Of course, it is best to go with the flow, but I tend to get a bit sharp if I am tired and feel like I am not being listened to.

Am in work later but I am hoping to have a very quiet day sorting out paperwork and stuff.