Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

heartbreak_star

Tea,

If you get in touch you give him license to do the same.

Please think about that.

(Sorry for the plain harsh words )

Lots of love,

HBS x

Pyxis

Tea, sorry you're still,in such turmoil.

Please wait until you've spoken to police baby. :A





One of the nice drinks here is King Coconut, drunk straight from the nut. It's much more delicate than 'our' coconuts, less sweet and very refreshing.

Here's the one I had with dinner this evening........

Drat! The internet is so slow this evening, it won't upload! Will have to do it another time!

elsien

A quick heads up, BBC's in the mind season starts with a programme about bipolar next Monday pm.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/latestnews/2016/in-the-mind

Waves_and_Smiles

Not really penguiny but talks about severe mental health symptoms.

I haven't slept all night, I have just been curled up in bed. I feel physically sick and full of energy with rushing thoughts and panic. My head is thumping and I am so anxious I have sweat pouring off my head and palms of my hands. I can't stop thinking that I am poisoned and dying although at the same time a healthy part of me knows it isn't true. I keep thinking I have damaged my liver or kidneys, that my heart is stopping due to palpitations from anxiety. The voices are screaming at me and it has taken ages to write this due to flashing lights in front of my eyes. I just feel utter fear and paranoia and am being sick just out of anxiety. It is getting to the time when I have to consider going to the hospital, I know when I am not coping and when things will get very bad if I don't take action. It is always a signal to me when I can't sleep, things spiral very quickly if I lose that ability because my chemicals become even more unbalanced so it is usually time to do something about it, it begins to make me physically ill.

Don't worry, I am able to keep myself safe. There just comes a point where I know I won't be able to do that if I don't ask for help. There are a lot of options, not least that I am on a relatively low dose of medication due to side effects so it can be increased by quite a lot. I will feel very ill as a result but it will control the psychosis and is usually what the crisis team opt for. I don't think I need to be admitted but I likely will need to be if it this isn't stopped in it's tracks. Isn't it funny how I can have a healthy part of me that observes myself and can make calm decisions while the rest of me is falling apart? I suppose this is what years of therapy and training does. On the one hand I know my chemicals are very unbalanced and this isn't real, on the other I want to hurt myself until it stops. I feel like I am physically dying, my mind is racing but my body feels broken.

I will give it a few more hours to see if I can control the symptoms but if not I will get WaSp to get me to hospital to see the crisis team. I could also do with one of their large injections of anti-psychotics right now to force me to sleep, I need to rest. I could try to get the crisis team to come here but I want to be in hospital for a little while, while I feel like this. I want to be able to stop monitoring myself constantly and let someone else do so. I am tired, I am tired of fighting this and I want to rest even if it is for a few hours and let someone else make sure I am safe. I am beyond exhausted with constantly challenging thoughts and coping with the physical symptoms.

I will give it another 2 hours and decide. I hate these ESA forms, have I mentioned that?

End penguin

calleyw

WaS,

have a huge hug from me.

If you need to go to hospital, sooner rather than later might be better.

You take care.

More hugs and squishes

Yours

Calley

mellymoo74

WaS
Hopefully you are getting the help you need.

Get wasp or bubbly registered as your advocate they then do the forms lovely it will take this stress away.

mellymoo74

Guess what
Following the stupid HA doing that lovely thing that actually illegal and they have been told about before, on full iew of the neighbours yes the intimidation has restarted. I need to get the dogs walked but they have been outside my front door for the last hour so I can't go out

tea_lover

Aww WaS, I hope you get some rest soon. Fwiw, you sound very rational and sensible... mad as that probably sounds to you right now. Take care, am thinking of you xx

Torry_Quine

WaS I'm sorry that things are so bad for you just now.

Tea I know that it makes sense to speak to FOH but do you really think that he would be satisfied with that? It would be giving him persission to get back into your life.

melly that's awful that you are trapped in your own home. What happened?

Pyxis the photos are brilliant.

mellymoo74

Him and 2 of his mates are outside my front door talking about raping some !!!!! Torry
Police aren't interested

And the HA came round without notice to discuss the asb in full view of them is what's kicked this round off