Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

whitewing

My martial arts instructor is the first person that I have ever even contemplated saying, Yes, Sir to without adding a silent F...you at the end. Even after I decided that I may be able to, it still took me a good few months to achieve it.

jobbingmusician

tea_lover wrote: »

Grr, just got home and was expecting to have missed a call from police but not a word. No reply to the emails sent last week, or the last couple of reports. Have no idea why this went from 'really serious, off to make arrest' to 'we won't bother getting back to you for two weeks'.:huh:

Ring and ask them to send you a copy of their complaints procedure. Make a formal complaint! xxxx

Wellyboots6

Just played Risk with Bearded One. Finally found a board game I can't stand!!

Pyxis

tea_lover wrote: »

I suppose my dilemma is that I feel that I do have another option. If he hadn't followed me that time it wouldn't have occurred to me to get the police involved - the rest of it (calls, letters, etc) were not something I would have contacted them about on their own. But because I'd already got them involved I then started logging them all, and now it just seems to have snowballed and it isn't helping either one of us.

Without this becoming such a big 'thing', he'd probably have got bored and stopped already by now. After all, one thing I do know very clearly from the last ten years is that I do not generally figure on his list of priorities, and certainly not anywhere near the top. I think I've made this whole situation worse, when if I'd just spoken to him in the first place the novelty would have worn off and he'd have collected his stuff and moved on.

I wonder, Tea. I remember your posts from that earlier period and you were distraught with worry and very frightened. Remember that you contacted the police because he was making you feel scared and ill, so his behaviour didn't start when you contacted the police, it was already happening.
He sent you flowers recently? And more contact? I feel you should log this with the police, so that they have the whole story. And please do ring police baby, even if only to find out if he is in duty yet.

You say he is ill. May I ask what illness? Has he been diagnosed with anything, or is his current behaviour leading you to surmise he is ill? As others have said, the police action will ensure he gets the help he needs.

I do feel you need to discuss all this with police baby and also with a stalking helpline person before you make any decisions. :A

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Thanks code x x

You think you'd be no use, but you would be. Something just kicks in, and you would do anything for them. You find a strength from somewhere to help to get you through it. I did many things that I never thought I'd be able to do.

Having said that, I think the reason I mainly feel so bad is that I'm good at taking instructions, helping out and being practical when asked, but that last day or so when he could no longer communicate properly, it's like I just gave up, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what he was wanting and I didn't know how to help him. I think part of that reason was I was just so overwhelmed and tired and my Mam wasn't exactly helping matters, but that's another story.

When I had an elderly relative who was dying, I arranged to sit by the bed all night. He wasn't conscious, but I ensured he had lots of physical contact; I held his hand and squeezed it periodically, I stroked his forehead,
I whispered things in his ear, like, it's all right 'name', it's all right to let go, stuff like that. I also took in some essential oil, orange, and held it under his nose every now and then, and his nostrils twitched so I knew he could smell it. I made sure he was warm etc. I kept hold of his hand even when I dozed off occasionally.
Penguin The fact that I was there when he finally went was a great comfort; ie that he hadn't been all alone on the ward when it happened. End penguin.

Pyxis

Yesterday after singing, we went for lunch by a lake and then had a walk around town. I wanted a sarong, and found myself in a shop buying a made to measure sarong with a loose matching top. They were delivered to the hotel later! It all happened so fast and I probably did pay over the top even though I bargained a bit! I also bought some baggy elephant trousers.
It was quite funny, cos they kept telling me I needed larger sizes, much larger! And it cost more because it used so MUCH more material! It was hilarious! Never been so insulted in a clothes' shop! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Then we went for a walk up the mountain, through the tea plantations, to see a waterfall, and we had a sing by the waterfall!


Sorry no photos yet.....most are on my camera, not the iPad, so I have to transfer them over, and haven't got round to it! I'll go and see what I've got on here besides videos..........



Gosh! It took ages to load!
Not very exciting, but it's tea bushes as far as the eye can see, plus several houses and the tea factory.

tea_lover

Pyxis, my love, it is so good of us to take such good care of us even when you are on holiday xx All that tea!! It looks amazing

Pyxis wrote: »

He sent you flowers recently? And more contact? I feel you should log this with the police, so that they have the whole story. And please do ring police baby, even if only to find out if he is in duty yet.

To be fair, I have no proof that the flowers came from him. I found them on my doorstep when I left the house on Saturday morning. I did however have a call from him on Friday afternoon. Plus the list of people in my life who randomly buy me flowers and leave them anonymously is quite small! It seems a pretty safe bet.

Pyxis wrote: »

You say he is ill. May I ask what illness? Has he been diagnosed with anything, or is his current behaviour leading you to surmise he is ill? As others have said, the police action will ensure he gets the help he needs.

He's been diagnosed with depression. Which doesn't surprise me in the slightest as he's clearly been depressed for the last two - three years, he just wouldn't admit it.

Pyxis wrote: »

I do feel you need to discuss all this with police baby and also with a stalking helpline person before you make any decisions.

In the absence of any contact from the police, have reported the phone call and flowers online this morning. Also mentioned the letter again (did call about this when I received it but was v much fobbed off).

Will see if I hear anything today...

Izadora

Morning all!!

I'm another one who wouldn't have fared very well in the military. Although saying that my boyfriend, who has a serious aversion to being told what to do, was in the Navy for 10 years and loved it.
He was watching the cadet programme last night, which was filmed where he did his basic training, and reckons it hasn't changed all that much in the past 26 years.

P.S. Torry, as much as it sometimes seems like far too much effort, try to keep moving as much as you can. I often have problems with my lower back and my chiropractor recommends that I move every 20 minutes, even if it's only standing up, walking on the spot for 30 seconds and sitting back down. Following her advice does always help the problem clear up quicker.

onomatopoeia99

Morning everyone

Had a phone call from the hospital just now after my appointment with the consultant yesterday. Am now booked in for surgery / biopsy on Thursday week (it's on my skin, so I will be an outpatient). Seems they don't hang around in these parts!

Still rather seized up after my decision to walk in the dreadful weather yesterday, but since it is entirely self-inflicted I'm not feeling too sorry for myself :A.

mellymoo74

Pyxis that's beautiful and look at you still supporting from SL.

Torry I echo what iz has said OH had to move even when we can't get him mobile little and often is what's recommended

Tea my experience with the police previously was fantastic this time round they have lied (claimed to have spoken to a witnesses mother? Sad OH withdrew the complaint) so my opinion is jaded you need to keep logging because it becomes harder to ignore.

Couldn't get up today didn't get up till almost 11! Have been running for round trying to do everything from I normally do around Mr OCD (your doing it wrong, it needs to be like this etc) so my mood is a bit crap

tea_lover

Melly - sounds like you definitely needed the sleep, hope you're feeling better for it and that things are ok with OH.

Ono - good luck with your surgery. At least you haven't got to wait for ages to have it done. Hope it all goes ok.