Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

mellymoo74

Oh meant to add no wonder with what has gone on Calley you have forgotten boundaries the comment about being nicer to yourself is a good one. Would you be talking to a friend about this the same way your talking to yourself?

codemonkey

DomRavioli wrote: »

Hi guys and gals!


Sorry its been a couple of days - its been a whirlwind as ever in this house. My next door neighbour thought it would be a good idea last night/this morning to have literally the loudest 3 hour s3x session until 4am, then when I asked for them to keep it down, was told some choice words, so I'm on 4 hours of sleep and I start work at 1pm.


We have enough saved up for a house deposit so am just looking at moving because crazy lady next door has been doing this at least three times a week for the last year. We both have jobs, she doesn't work (no kids, just really lazy, she has a dog that I have never seen be walked by anyone) yet I have to put up with this. I would literally give up a kidney or a lung or something just to get a full night's sleep.

Forgot to say, I had a neighbour like this once. You could honestly hear them on the other side of the flat, 3 rooms away. They woke me up every single night and once you've heard it, you can't unhear it. Eventually, I snapped, got my laptop out and while they were getting down to errm, business, I found a video of a baby crying, put my speakers against the wall and played it as loud as it would go. Turns out, crying babies really dim the ardour as they were much quieter from then on.

calleyw

mellymoo74 wrote: »

Oh meant to add no wonder with what has gone on Calley you have forgotten boundaries the comment about being nicer to yourself is a good one. Would you be talking to a friend about this the same way your talking to yourself?

No I would not talk to a friend like that.

I would try and get to the bottom of why they are doing this and help and support them to sort it all out.

Yours

Calley

mellymoo74

See.
So stop telling yourself off.
Can you arrange a trip out tomorrow? One of the ones you have cancelled do it in the same way you did the sorting out the house so force yourself to go out for an hour reward yourself for doing it.

Georgiegirl256

calleyw wrote: »

I cut your post as it was too long to quote I hope that is ok.

I do understand what you have said, Yes I would be !!!!ed off about it myself. But once I get that in my head I can't seem to stop myself. I know that is no excuse. As I am an adult and should be able to control my behavior and emotions. And not act like a compulsive child. I think some of this stems from my husband. After his stroke I would have multiple contacts with him during the day even when working. And still do have daily contact with him.

So found it very hard to go days with out contact with someone that I was trying to have a relationship with. Which just compounded my feelings that he did not like. When in reality he was just being like most men. Don't feel the need to tell you how they feel or be in contact all the time.

Don't you think it makes me cringe, want to cry and curl and die because of what I have done. Not proud of it at all. And most of all I am hurt someone I care about.

The great thing is though, is you know you've got a problem, you admit it, and that's the first step to overcoming anything. .

I can totally understand about you needing to have contact multiple times a day with your husband. I was like that (still am to a certain extent, but not as often) with my Mam (and when my Dad was ill) after she had had her 2 hearts attacks. I'd get anxious and couldn't relax until I'd heard from them, and if I couldn't get in touch I went round to their house to see if everything was ok. So yes, I understand in that respect.

Waves_and_Smiles

Another way of looking at it Calley is you have admitted that you would like to help a friend who was in a similar position to you. Well, why do you think we are all trying to help you to feel better? Do you think we would if we thought that you were a horrible person? We want to help because we like and care for you, we think you are worthwhile and we want you to feel happier. Think about it rationally, would every person who has replied to you have done so if they didn't like you? So if we can feel that way about you then isn't it possible that you are letting the old low self-esteem tapes lie to you and you actually are far more likeable than you believe?

mellymoo74

What they said

In a much more elegant way then Mrs sleepy over here.

Now panicking about director

Waves_and_Smiles

It could be a really positive thing, Melly! Further responsibility, maybe? Or perhaps a check to see if you are happy in the role? When I was a manager I would meet with all new staff after a month just to check how they were feeling and to reassure them that they could be open with me if they had any problems with their role. I am sure a few felt the same as you and panicked, but it was something I always did because I wanted happy staff who felt that they had a voice.

Georgiegirl256

Forgot to say hi Dom, what a lovely name! If they carry on making a din and disturbing your sleep, I'd report them to the council for noise disturbance!

Cute pic code!

Oh, and I was a big brave girl today (tongue firmly in cheek!), and got a cancellation at the opticians! So, I've had my eyes tested and ordered new glasses. Did get abit emosh though, I couldn't help it!

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, well done Georgie! Now I should do it as you have been so brave. I desperately need new glasses but I won't go to the optician because when I cannot see all of the little letters on the chart I feel like a disappointment! How daft is that? I apologised last time I went because I couldn't see them all! I am not sure whether that's hilarious or pathetic...