Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

System

mellymoo74 wrote: »

That was pointless

What happened (or didn't happen) to make you feel like that Melly?
*squishes gently*

elsien

Healthy minds?

tea_lover

Got home to a letter from FOHs mum....I'll summarise:
- the police told him he could contact my parents
- he's contacting a solicitor
- I've made him very ill
- he's done nothing wrong
- I'm a heartless !!!!!.

So once I get back from brownies it's yet another call to the police. Really don't think I can take much more of this.

Waves_and_Smiles

Lovely to see you, Fly! Huge squishes!

Oh Melly, have a hug. What happened?

Big hugs to you too, tea. You know FOH's mum isn't correct, right? I also doubt the police said he could contact your parents. The silly woman is seeing this entirely from her son's side which is no doubt utterly distorted due to what he has been telling her. Report it tea she has no right at all to put you under any pressure, it's ridiculous.

Well, our car is 80% certain to be a write off. It would cost the insurance more in money to repair it than it would to give us the value. We are really upset. We have had the car for a long time and it's value has dropped, the amount they have offered will not be enough to buy a new secondhand car. We could buy it back from them for £50 and then try to source second hand parts ourselves and see if we can repair it for a lot cheaper but we really don't know. We can't not have a car, I need it to get to the hospital or for any emergencies and WaSp needs to get to Milliefleur's which would cost £38 a time on the train as opposed to £10 in petrol both ways. Plus there is no chance of me going out at all without one, I simply cannot do taxi's, I can't be in a small metal box with a stranger, the thought terrifies me. We have no idea what to do now.

System

tea_lover wrote: »

Got home to a letter from FOHs mum....I'll summarise:
- the police told him he could contact my parents
- he's contacting a solicitor
- I've made him very ill
- he's done nothing wrong
- I'm a heartless !!!!!.

So once I get back from brownies it's yet another call to the police. Really don't think I can take much more of this.

FOH is bang out of order (again), if he's "ill" then he's made himself ill by continuing to harass you instead of doing what most people do when a relationship ends and move on. This is not your responsibility. And his mum is way out of line writing to you, and i think the police are wrong in saying he can contact your parents. Hopefully when you talk to the police they can sort this out.

*big hugs*

System

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Lovely to see you, Fly! Huge squishes!

Oh Melly, have a hug. What happened?

Big hugs to you too, tea. You know FOH's mum isn't correct, right? The silly woman is seeing this entirely from her son's side which is no doubt utterly distorted due to what he has been telling her. Report it tea she has no right at all to put you under any pressure, it's ridiculous.

Well, our car is 80% certain to be a write off. It would cost the insurance more in money to repair it than it would to give us the value. We are really upset. We have had the car for a long time and it's value has dropped, the amount they have offered will not be enough to buy a new secondhand car. We could buy it back from them for £50 and then try to source second hand parts ourselves and see if we can repair it for a lot cheaper but we really don't know. We can't not have a car, I need it to get to the hospital or for any emergencies and WaSp needs to get to Milliefleur's which would cost £38 a time on the train as opposed to £10 in petrol both ways. Plus there is no chance of me going out at all without one, I simply cannot do taxi's, I can't be in a small metal box with a stranger, the thought terrifies me. We have no idea what to do now.

Is it worth looking on gumtree (or the automobile equivalent) to see if you van pick up a second hand car on the cheap? probably wont be the best car but might get you though? Or could WaSP hire a car? Might some do longer term leases? Obviously that doesn't help if you need the car regularyl but if you need one quick it might be an option.

I know nothing of cars so can;t really advise but i hope you manage to get something sorted *hugs and squishes*

tea_lover

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

FOH is bang out of order (again), if he's "ill" then he's made himself ill by continuing to harass you instead of doing what most people do when a relationship ends and move on. This is not your responsibility. And his mum is way out of line writing to you, and i think the police are wrong in saying he can contact your parents. Hopefully when you talk to the police they can sort this out.

*big hugs*

The police absolutely didn't say that, it's total bullshine.

System

tea_lover wrote: »

The police absolutely didn't say that, it's total bullshine.

Why is his mum even contacting you? I thought withn court orders, that if they contact you, even via another person that would mean he's breaking the terms of it? Definitely have words with the police and clarify whether she's even allowed to contact you on his behalf (which she blatantly is as all of whats she has said has come from him).

Waves_and_Smiles

Thanks, MU. We have a hire car for now from the insurance company but as soon as they write ours off and the cheque hits my bank account they take it back. We don;t think the payment will even be enough to buy a really cheap secondhand car. I know my social worker would repeat what she has said for years which is I am on the wrong DLA and to apply to be put onto a higher rate so we could afford one, but I am terrified to do so in case they take everything off of me. We are utterly stuck for now.

pollyanna_26

TEA - The more foh and his mother do this type of thing the deeper they dig a hole . Keep strong . I hope the police act now .
WAS - What a nightmare re the car .I do hope something gets sorted .
MELLY - I hope you're ok .
polly