Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

tea_lover

Didn't realise it was Sri Lanka that pyxis is off to...my boss is flying there this evening, from Heathrow! Am now slightly concerned that pyxis is my boss :rotfl:

Georgiegirl256

calleyw wrote: »

My lodger does !!!!!! all. Since the start of December he was cleaned the bathroom once and hoovered up about 3 times!!!! I think he thinks that because I am here all day that I should be doing it all the time. And I was not in the mood this morning for the snide remarks about do I know how to use the washing machine and hoover!!!! I asked for help once nearly a week ago, he said he would. I did not pushed or nag. So just did it myself this morning. And only said something after I done the job and he asked me did I need a hand!!!

I guess that's why it's important to lay down ground rules straight away, but it's still not too late to do it now though.

Personally, if I was the landlady, and was at home for most of the time, I would do the majority if not all of the housework, but not his bedroom though, as that's his own private space and his own responsibility to keep clean. I wouldn't tidy up after him and be at his beck and call of course, but I'd just carry on doing the housework as I had done before he moved in. Unless he's making the place an absolute tip, there shouldn't really be much extra work than before.

There's obviously a lot of confusion between the two of you which needs sorted out ASAP.

Take care (((((Calley)))))

Eta: That's spooky tea! Wouldn't it be funny if Pyxis was your boss?! :rotfl:

Waves_and_Smiles

That is where there needs to be very clear boundaries with your lodger, Calley. If he is going to live with you then he needs to be responsible for keeping joint areas clean and tidy too and not expect you to do it for him. Could you maybe make a list of what you require from him and give it to him? So that you are both clear what you do and don't expect? House rules can be helpful in situations like this and it isn't too late for both of you to make things more clear, it is very important that you both know what is expected of each other. Calm communication is the key so that you can come to an agreement for both of you. Do remember also it is your house, you do not have him stay with you if it is too difficult and have every right to ask him to leave.

Don't give up on yourself, you are a lovely person. You just need to start believing that about yourself and realise how much you have to offer. Someone would be lucky to have you as a partner, honestly. Just give it time and learn to love you (like we do!). Have a hug.

Wellyboots6

Just a thought, but could he feel uncomfortable about cleaning someone else's house? If he still feels a bit like a guest then he might feel awkward cleaning his hosts house, as though he is suggesting it isn't clean enough?
I'm just thinking that, as I have seen it from the other side, where I gave been offended when my mum has cleaned my house for me.

Talk to him

whitewing

calley,

you are a lovely person and no one looks after our melly like you do, so I hope you are not giving up on us.

welly,

I am glad that your budgie was an actual budgie. I thought it may be some kind of slang that I am too old to appreciate!

codemonkey

Calley - giving up on yourself is the opposite of what you need to be doing now. You need to build yourself up. If you cannot do that alone, then I think you need counselling and/or self help books to help change your thinking. You cannot just give up on the world because of some eejits on a dating site.

tea_lover

Morning Calley x. In the few weeks I've been on an online dating site, loads of people have stopped replying mid-conversation, at least three have deleted their entire profile mid-conversation, loads of them haven't replied at all, and one's cancelled a couple of hours before a second date.

None of them know me, same as I have no idea what's going on in their lives. They're not a representative sample of society!

It's very easy for it to start becoming more important than it should be. Once any aspect of your self worth is dependant on internet dating strangers, it's time to step away from the computer sweetheart x.

Georgiegirl256

Sad news about Sir Terry Wogan I liked him, he was funny, especially on the ESC. (Not your fault at all WaS x )

tea_lover

Oh, I'd missed that Georgie. Goodness we seem to be losing a few this year.

elsien

Parent will be upset - similar age, and already getting intimations of mortality.

Today's plan - drag Gitdog to naughty dog's walk in the rain. NVQ. Letter to council and a bit more knocking on doors (which I hate - how cold callers can do it for a living is beyond me) and finally, contemplate the Hoover and duster and put aside for yet another week.
One of the neighbours called round ref the campaign and I spent more time apologising for the mess than I did talking about why he'd come.:o

Eta- am I the only one who's broken the search function - getting connection refused message?