Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

codemonkey

Morning. Good luck melly.

So tired. Someone pass the matchsticks!

mellymoo74

Thanks all.
Already knackered lol.

Pyxis

codemonkey wrote: »

Morning. Good luck melly.

So tired. Someone pass the matchsticks!

Watch the whole clip here.......

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sH9iudba8l4

Georgiegirl256

Morning all

Extra strength coffee to all the sleepy heads!

Good luck Melly!

Eta: just watch the T&J video. Happy memories, I loved them as a child!

tea_lover

Pyxis wrote: »

Morning Tea! How are things? All quiet on the stalking front?

I think so! Just waiting to hear back from Police baby about whether it will be caution or CPS referral... should hear towards the end of this week.

Am going to penguin the next bit because it mentions church and faith and I know those can be triggers for some - if people would rather I remove it altogether please just say and I'll delete straight away.
Penguin
As mentioned yesterday, FOH went to see a friend of mine (T) last week. I think it was Wed or Thurs, I found out on Sunday. They've had some interaction previously as FOH did some work at church which T organised. T also spoke to him briefly when he turned up twice on the sunday before Christmas.
FOH text T and asked if he could speak to him, which T agreed to (to be clear, T is the loveliest, kindest person you can imagine).
FOH has told me (in his mammoth email and letter, and via his mum) that he actually found going to church really helpful, and it really made him think about things. This is a complete turnaround as he's always been pretty scathing of it all - which was clearly a major sticking point between us.
When speaking to T, he said the same again (that he was surprised to enjoy it, that he felt hopeful and peaceful, etc.) Considering he's now on a/ds and is obviously struggling at the moment this is good, I think.
T spoke to him for some time, and gave him some contact details for another church nearby. He told him he was happy to help him, and happy to speak to him, but that it wouldn't be appropriate for him to attend the same church and that his priority is towards me.
We both (T and myself) have our doubts that he'll actually go to this other church, partly as I think it would be so far outside of his comfort zone - it would be like me turning up at a busy pub on my own!
I feel very confused and guilty about all of this. I've been praying for years that he'd want to come with me, that he'd at least be open to the idea of exploring things. I've also been praying for years that he'd say he'd come to his senses about us, was sorry, would do things to put it right etc. Now both of those things are happening and I've sent him away, refused to speak to him and got him a criminal record.
I do know (believe me!) that his behaviour is unacceptable and I do know that there's no future for us as a couple. But it seems very wrong to turn my back on him when he's clearly in pain and reaching out. But obviously it won't help him for me to get in touch now as that would only give him false hope - and of course I can't anyway with the police stuff now in place.
But it's not sitting right with me at all - I feel like a total hypocrite for asking God to find a way to open his mind then running away when I feel like the answer I'm getting is that I need to speak to him.
End Penguin.

Apologies for yet another mammoth ramble! Am not sleeping much lately (can you tell? ) and I do think that writing every thing down can help - although I very much appreciate that I should just get a diary or a blog and leave you poor people in peace!

Have so much work to do today and it's just not happening - please send motivation.... and no-calorie biscuits.

Georgiegirl256

No need to apologise tea. Look at me clogging the pages up the other day! Sometimes like you say, you just need to get things out, it helps to talk things through and get things off your chest. So ramble away to your hearts content.

Do you think what the FOH is saying is true though. Do you really think that he's finding comfort etc in going to church? Or do you think he could just be saying what he thinks you want to hear? As you know, I'm not really religious myself, but when I went to those memorial services I found the whole church atmosphere to be comforting and calming and understood why people go and find comfort in it, but, I wouldn't become a regular churchgoer and from what you've said, I don't think FOH will either.

I could be wrong of course, but I don't just think you change your views overnight and after a couple of visits, I'd be highly suspicious of his motives. If you didn't go to church, then I don't think he'd have any interest in it whatsoever. Of course for some people that can happen, but from what you've said about him, I can't see that being the case here. He'd go to church to see if you were there, but not to another one I don't think.

It's because you are such a good person that you see the good in him still even after he's put you through all that he has. You haven't given him a police record, he's done that all by himself. If he'd have came up to you and said "look tea, I've screwed up big time, I didn't treat you right, I didn't try' then things wouldn't have turned out like they have. But he didn't, he started following you, turning up at friends, families houses and even your place of worship (in which he had no interest whatsoever before) and most creepily the event with your neighbours and banging on your door.

Stay strong, and big hugs (((tea)))

Edited to penguin as the original message was penguined.

mellymoo74

I was about to type that Georgie

Tea he knows you wanted him to go, he's going for that reason it's a link.

You did nothing g wrong

mellymoo74

Right OH smoothie
Shower and major and I mean major beautification

mellymoo74

Tea meant to say
You do know they are looking for rail HSE cos of hs2?
Get cv out there Mrs

tea_lover

I think half our workforce are leaving for HS2 jobs at the moment! I'll certainly have a look.

Thanks guys - you're all right, of course xx.