Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

whitewing

Are you managing to eat, melly?

mellymoo74

A bit ww.
I had some turkey yesterday

whitewing

Good girl! Try and have something else a bit later

tea_lover

Aargh. Date, tonight. DATE. TONIGHT. DATE!!!!!!!!

tea_lover

And then to bring me crashing down to earth, an email from FOHs mum. Haven't heard from her for a week to be fair, and she was very apologetic, but she's begging (literally begging) me to speak to him. Says he's in a really bad way and she's never been so worried about him.

She's got it in her head that it'll help him to speak to me but surely it won't? I want him to feel better, I really do, but there's no way we're ever getting back together. He knows that - won't it be better for him to just carry on with no contact and work through it?

I feel like a right cow now. Am running around trying on date outfits and getting excited and he's at his mum's crying and not sleeping.

Help! Do I meet FOH? If I do it would be with other people obviously.

pollyanna_26

Tea please do not speak to or go to see him - he needs proper help and while people are enabling his behaviour he will never get it . I have seen these sort of situations often, deliberate or not it is another form of control . You have had fear , pain and a difficult time ,do not invite that back into your life now , I know you have and will shed many tears and worry but YOU can't fix him that's for mh .
Try if you can to carry on with your plans for tonight - I know it will be hard . If you can't can you visit your family this evening ? Stay strong you did all you could but you can't fix everybody , You're in my thoughts . Polly x

Georgiegirl256

When's she wanting you to meet him? If it's tonight, well you can't, you've got a date and that comes first, you can't cancel it.

I'd email her back saying that you don't know what you could say or do that would make the situation better, and that it might only serve to give him hope that there is a future for you both and obviously there isn't. So it's for the best that you don't meet up. Maybe suggest that she tries to get him some professional help of some sort?

I know she's his Mum and she's desperate and is reaching out to the only persons thinks can help, and as much as I feel sorry for both him and her, I think it's for the best you stay away and for you both to carry on working through it.

Concentrate on your date for tonight and deal with the email tomorrow. Good luck btw! Hope you have a brilliant time!

Waves_and_Smiles

Good evening all!

Tea, I really don't think that you should speak to him. Of course you feel bad for him and his mum but with the frame of mind he is in all it will do is make him think there is a chance to get back together. You are right, he needs to work through this on his own. He has his family with him who can support him, his antidepressants will work soon, this is honestly not your worry. You have handled everything correctly and as gently as you could, now it's time to keep a distance as you have been doing and for FOH to deal with his own mental health. Honestly, talking to him will make it worse for both of you.

Now do you hair, get dressed up and go on that date!

Aw, Pollyanna what a sweet thing to say, thank you. I love to hear that the threads have helped people, it makes me feel useful! Oops, sorry I said son, I have no idea where I pulled that from. I hope that you both had a lovely Christmas!

Torry, when the days are empty come on here and talk to us. There is always someone here for a chat.

Sorry to hear you have all been unwell whitewing but at the same time I am glad that you are having such a lovely time!

Get well soon, Code and Pyxis! There are warm fluffy blankets in the fort just for you!

Well done on the eating, Melly! You have done so well over christmas!

I am trying to make a balloon bunny! Got half of it done, it's more difficult than a dog!

codemonkey

Tea, I echo what everyone else has said. It's not your responsibility to 'fix' him and even if you did meet up with him, what would you say? You'd be giving him hope, only to crush him when you tell him it's over for good. No good can come of it.

Enjoy your date tonight and be safe. Ensure someone knows where you're going and who with. Hope it goes well.

tea_lover

Thanks peeps. That's what I was thinking, always good to hear other people say you're not being a totally selfish mare!