Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

Wellyboots6

MU, I know how you feel about birthdays and Christmas. Hubby can't understand why I always end up working on them if I can, mainly because it distracts me from getting too down. I also feel like I haven't achieved anything.

It has only been this year I got married and pregnant, at 32, so you still have time to streak ahead of me!

There is always so much pressure from my family to celebrate birthdays and Christmas with them, which just makes it worse as I dont actually like spending that much time with them, and when I feel down anyway it is the last thing I want to do. If I don't though I get told I am being difficult and cutting them off.

So my advice would be to choose carefully what you do on your birthday. Don't try and please other people, but as Pyxis says, creating new positive memories could be a good thing.

I'm having a wobble today. Has anyone got any suggestions of positive things I can do to lift my mood and feel a bit more motivated? I think it's starting to get to me being home alone all day every day, and I can only really get out walking a little but with Little Sod if he is in a good mood.

Pyxis

WaS, even though I know your story, from the other threads, it never ceases to move me.

Next time you feel you are worthless or have nothing to contribute, you really should read your previous post and acknowledge that, to come out of that background and still be able to feel empathy for people, even for people with far less serious histories than yours, illustrates just what a wonderful person you are. Plus the fact that you are willing and able to talk about your your experiences........well, I can't imagine how many people, posters and hummingbirds alike, you have helped by being so honest.

Not to mention how well you describe and write about them!

Where's that book!

Birdie85

Sorry you're feeling rough Ginger! Hope you perk up today for your bust day of appointments!

Hope the allergy test goes OK WaS. Tiny scratches shouldn't leave much of a scab and you could ask for a gauzey bandage to cover the area so you can't see it? Or get a box of fun plasters (I like the Mr Men ones!) and cover yourself in them!

I am so sorry to read your terrible story Faerielight Such an awful childhood. I'm sorry you feel so lonely now too, I wish there was a way I could help.

Your story is horrific too WaS. I'll just never understand how a parent could abuse, or allow anyone else to abuse, their own child. All I want to do with DS is protect him and I'm already scared about him growing up and getting a girlfriend!

MU, sorry you're feeling low; I think it's remarkable that you've come so far and you should be proud that you've reached another birthday! You do have plenty to show for your time on this planet; who cares if you don't have a house or you're not married yet. What if you'd married the wrong person at 19, you could be saddled with masses of debt in a house you can't afford, stuck in an unhappy relationship etc... instead you have freedom, a job (that you are good at and have stuck with despite your MH problems) and Swain!

Sorry to see you on here Welly!

calleyw

WaS,

I knew a little bit about your background. But I am here in tears after reading that. I know that was not your intention. I just can't comprehend it. How anyone could do that to anyone else let alone there own child or grand child.

I saw my step grandchild yesterday and she is so gorgeous and I can see the love from her parents and her grandfather just pours out of them. My husband is so proud of his daughter, her partner and his grandaughter. She not even related to me but I know what I would do if I thought for one minute something was not right. The same as I would with nephews.

It makes me even more proud to know you. As you are so strong not sure that I could be after all of that. No wonder you have so many issues and as you rightly say it takes a long time to heal.

Walking away was the best thing that you could have done. Some people are just to toxic to be in your life.

I have just re-supplied the fort with jaffa cakes, hugs, handshakes and squishes for all.

Yours

Calley

calleyw

MU,

I have a few years on you. And I could not believe that I was single at 40 and still am 3 years later. That was not in my plans :rotfl:

But you have a good one in Swain.

People put far to much pressure on themselves and others when it comes to xmas and birthdays. It has to be perfect. Nah do what you want to do with whom you want. As long as you enjoy the day and the people you spend it with.

I am not keen on xmas as I have spent the last few basically alone due to family and stuff. Me and my husband just use to do our own thing. A couple of times I cooked xmas lunch and eaten it my dressing gown :eek: There was only the two of us and we did what suited us.

I feel that at 43 that I have messed up my life and have no idea and never did of what I would do for a job. And the last 3 and bit years well what a massive mess. I fell in love with a man who was not or never will be ready for a relationship. Allowing him to keep coming back as I thought things had changed. Walking away from a really easy job as I could no longer cope. And now not working at all and too scared to go back!!!

Life does not always turn out the way we expect. I know that husband having a stroke at 43 and us separating was not in the plans.

You still have plenty of time to achieve all the things you want to. And so do I as I still have a few years left in me LOL!!!

Yours

Calley

Flybaby

MU - I didn't buy a house until 34, get married until 37 and I had to be persuaded to do both, and I don't have children or want them yet. I still don't know what I want to be or do when I grow up and I am nearly 40. So rock on my girl........your only job as a twenty-something is to experience life.


{{squishes to all}} I am, unsurprisingly, still covered in cement and desperately trying to finish the landscaping in the garden before the weather gets really bad. You all would have had a good laugh at me yesterday if you had been standing at the blanky fort window as I stubbornly refused to let the rain deter me and wrestled a 3mt gazebo up on my own so I could finish working, only to find it then very rudely got too dark to work at 7.... I finished by torchlight last night.... I was not going to be beaten! Off to inspect my work in the daylight and pray it isn't too bad.............

Indie_Kid

We tend to have a quiet Christmas. Birthdays we do very little. My birthday last year, a friend of mine took me out for a quiet (and yes, it was quiet) lunch.

Flybaby

Welly - your mission for the day, should you choose to accept it, is to look up and print out the words to your 5 favourite nursery rhymes or lullabyes to sing to escapee and start learning all of the verses.


Alternatively - start making a "wake up" cd and a "sleepy time" cd - each with at least 6 songs on. If you use these from day dot with escapee he will know that they signify time to sleep or time to wake up.

calleyw

Flybaby wrote: »

{{squishes to all}} I am, unsurprisingly, still covered in cement and desperately trying to finish the landscaping in the garden before the weather gets really bad. You all would have had a good laugh at me yesterday if you had been standing at the blanky fort window as I stubbornly refused to let the rain deter me and wrestled a 3mt gazebo up on my own so I could finish working, only to find it then very rudely got too dark to work at 7.... I finished by torchlight last night.... I was not going to be beaten! Off to inspect my work in the daylight and pray it isn't too bad.............

Flybaby,

I wish I had your drive and enthusiasm as my garden and house would have been done by now :rotfl:

I did get the gutters cleaned and fixed finally yesterday!!! Took 3 different people and the last person was actually cheaper than the one before who quoted.

And what a nice a guy. That reminds me need to pay him later.

Yours

Calley

Joanthebone

Hi all, here is my tuppence-worth... Me... a very unhappy childhood, some abuse. Married very young, to escape I suppose... finally got out of the marriage at age 50 and did not know what to do ... all I did know was that I was going to live my life on my terms.


15 years later, after lots of different jobs, experiences, men, (good and bad). Christmases spent alone (not always a bad thing!) ... and I am settled and happy, a new man in my life, one I feel so comfortable with I feel like I have been waiting for him forever! Yet, we are not in each others pockets, we have our own interests etc... I will not forget my girl friends because he is in my life (a mistake a lot of people make, including me in the past). I just wanted to come out of lurkdom to say that whatever age you are, 30, 40, 50, and even 60+ life can be good!


Sorry if this does not help anyone who is feeling down right now, I have been there too, and the bad things are never very far away, but I just wanted to say, its never too late!