Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

tunathe_cat

calleyw wrote: »

Very interesting to read all that.

Going to massively change the subject and I know its dumb question to ask on the internet.

My mum turns 70 soon. And I have no idea what to get her. I wanted a rose or plant that has her name. Come up blank on that.

She got to the age where she really does not want anything.

The only thing I can think of is taking her out for afternoon tea. As a local garden centre does a poshish one.

Yours

Calley

Calley

I have purchased Name your own rose from this site £44.95

http://www.countrygardenroses.co.uk/shop/view/1501-Name-Your-Own-Rose-FB

If you look on local Amazon you will often find afternoon Teas 2for 1 or similar deals.:cool:

dragonette

Faerie you've made me tear up a bit - is so rare to talk to anyone who actually gets it. I'm just hugely sorry it's because of your own trauma, I would gladly come and visit if I could. The idea of deliberately setting aside time to talk to my others is fantastic - I will try that and let you know how it goes

I am horrified at the medical negligence you are experiencing and I hope it is not feeding into the MH struggle. I wonder if the CAB or PALS could help by providing an advocate and/or forcing the local NHS to review your case. I was lucky enough to receive counselling through Rape Crisis and they were very understanding and helpful. It wasso terrifying I couldn't even phone for an appt but was able to email them instead. I hadn't realised how much guilt and fear I was carrying till it lifted. Is this maybe an option that might help you?

jobbingmusician

I'm tearing up just at the quality of care and mutual support on here. Thank you all for being such lovely people xxxxxx {{{{}}}} (((()))) ~~~~~~~~~

faerielight

thanks guys.. I will have a squish and some jaffa cakes please Dragonette, I'm glad you managed to get some therapy via rape crisis.. In my town we have the survivors network and a few years ago I had a years therapy and it make such a difference.. I went from flashbacking all the time , self harming and wanting to kill myself to functioning a lot better it is still such an emotional wound but I honestly don't think I would still be alive if it wasn't for that counselling. I just wish I could get some support for this medical nightmare.. Pals haven't helped at all, my local MP has given up not on trying to advocate for me as the hospital won't budge for a date and tell me that it is in such crisis that they are cancelling cancer patients now.. I am going to make a whopping complaint to both the hospital and mental health team. My mind advocate will help me with them , and hopefully the complaints will help.. I'm glad my DID suggestion appeals , I'll be interested to hear if it has helped at all.Have a good day guys

Pyxis

Faerielight, would the beneficiaries of your mother's will be willing to do a variation so that you are include? Or at least to share their inheritances with you? Are they sympathetic to your position?

Wellyboots6

Keep going Faerie, you are doing so well, and I suspect your story will be inspiring to others too, so don't give up hope.

Had family getting on at me yesterday about when they will be able to meet escapee (as soon as possible apparently), why I am not letting them visit me in hospital, how long I expect to be in hospital, trying to hurry me up because they are getting impatient etc.

I have kept saying all along that we will let people know once baby us born, and then let people know when we are ready for visitors, but not to turn up unannounced. They seem to be taking it as a personal insult however that we will be wanting uninterrupted time on our own with baby first.

I was getting quite stressed about it yesterday, worrying how to cope with visitors, settling baby, getting Little Sod used to baby whilst also trying to keep him calm around visitors etc.

Then I realised. Escapee will be ours! I can say no if I want and it will be my decision as mum. They have no rights over baby so cant demand to visit. Hubby is supporting me on trying to keep things as calm as possible as he knows I struggle with visitors anyway.

I also realised, my family are the only ones who have been so pushy. His have just said good luck and let us know how it goes. I am confident they won't just turn up and will wait for an invite, I have no worries about them at all despite them being a huge family expecting the first grandchild/baby in 15 years.

Makes me wonder how I have allowed my lot to be so overbearing, and accepted it as OK.

Pyxis

This might sound awful, but it might be better not to tell them about the birth until you are ready. They sound like they might just turn up anyway.
As you say, escapee is yours. You have enough on your plate as it is, and you need those first hours with escapee to be calm. You make the decisions, and don't be browbeaten. If they don't like it, it's their problem, not yours. Don't worry about them.

You just enjoy this time, the run up to the birth, the birth itself, and those first precious hours afterwards.
When you're ready for visitors, then tell them!

Solarjunkie

Calley - I think several of us may not use our given names on here! ;-)
You can Adopt a Duck or many other creatures for a birthday present, you even get a soft duck to present. Or plant trees in various places. Someone I know takes a lot of comfort from knowing that trees planted in her mother's name are still around, even if she isn't.

Wellyboots6

Thanks Pyxis

Pyxis

Solarjunkie wrote: »

Calley - I think several of us may not use our given names on here! ;-)
.

:rotfl: My name isn't a wooden box either!
Mind you, I wouldn't mind the name Pyxis!