Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

Wellyboots6

Sounds like aa positive appointment Dragonette, and good that you have a bit of a plan moving forward.

Please tell me your hot chocolate has marshmallows!!

dragonette

Marshmallows and cream and real milk - very decadent and very bad for me. But oh so nom!

There wasn't much negative on the appt, but does confirm that it's difficult to actually treat

Wellyboots6

Oooh nice!

Would it be a case of managing it then rather than treating, or is that something they are still looking in to? Either way, I guess at least it means they should be looking at ways to improve things for you.

dragonette

I'm guessing it'll be a management type thing? Certainly there's no meds that 'cure' it. Counselling and psychology were mentioned, but as a lot of the trauma that created the dissociation pathway had been worked through, it's difficult to change how my brain reacts to severe stress and pain from my physical conditions. They keep using the words complex and complicated

Waves_and_Smiles

Well done, Dragonette! So proud of you, huge hugs!

Don't worry about the labelling too much. The psychotherapist I saw for nine years refused to label me and drummed it into me that people are never labels in boxes. I found out in later years that she did use labels for my psychiatric records but was against using them with her clients because she didn't want them to categorise, and therefore limit themselves. It makes perfect sense although I am on the fence with labels, I believe I have too many but I am glad that I have names for some things at the same time. DID/MPD are hard because as I have said before we are all on the spectrum somewhere. If you break it down both terms refer to a 'disorder' that implies something is wrong. Well, my people aren't a disorder to me and they do not disorder my life so in a way those labels don't apply to me either!

Cures are difficult, I am not sure that I believe any mental health condition can be cured as such. Every person on the planet has the potential to develop a mental health problem. To quote another professional from my past we grow into adults with closed doors. Some things we don't think about because we feel afraid to let our minds go there. Sometimes circumstance thrusts us through a door we would never have wished to open, be they chemical or otherwise. Some things we close off from feeling because society and our environment teaches us its wrong resulting in us experiencing alienation and/or cognitive dissonance. Most people don't look too closely at themselves and that is fine, it is how many people function successfully. Once we are pushed into opening those doors for whatever reason we have seen inside and what has been seen can't be unseen. Doors tend to remain open and it is more of a case of whether a mental illness becomes an occasional whisper rather than a roaring cry. Everyone has a story, it's just some people are forced to look at theirs more closely than others but when you do look although you might never fully put it away you can learn to hear it only as a distant murmur on a lot of days. Aim for the quiet whisper, dragonette. It is more than enough.

All just how I view things, of course and shamelessly adopted from my favourite psychiatrist.

Quick edit to add-Cognitive dissonance can be understood like this to save Googling it-

Someone you really do not like comes into the office with your favourite truffles. They hold the box out to you and tell you to take a couple. Your brain immediately melts just like you know those chocolate truffles would in your mouth. "I don't like them and never want anything from them! But they are my favourite truffles and only come out on a blue moon every leap year! But I really don't like this person or their stuff! But the truffles..."

That's the easiest way to describe it! (What would you all do? Feel free to replace with alcohol, home baked goodies, etc. To truffle or not to truffle...)

dragonette

Thank you WaS, that makes a lot of sense to me As I said the Dr earlier - my others are not a problem in the slightest, and are known and loved by those close to me.

It's the waking up dissociated that's the issue. If it's in response to a trigger, then I can work thru it. If it's random.. That's much scarier!

I love the idea of the quiet whisper, that would be wonderful. I'm mostly ok in myself, with reasonable self confidence and self acceptance.

I've read that cognitive dissonance in children can increase their chances of developing schizophrenia. Was a book talking about the impact of parenting and child mental health. All of these aspects are all so variable!

I regard myself as lucky and strong - I can enjoy sex despite the sexual abuse and rape. Counselling and the patience of friends and partners have helped me hugely. It took a while but I've got this far. I'm just so so lucky, to the extent that random dissociation seems a fair price for the reduced effects on my ability to be intimate and open with people.

calleyw

Very interesting to read all that.

Going to massively change the subject and I know its dumb question to ask on the internet.

My mum turns 70 soon. And I have no idea what to get her. I wanted a rose or plant that has her name. Come up blank on that.

She got to the age where she really does not want anything.

The only thing I can think of is taking her out for afternoon tea. As a local garden centre does a poshish one.

Yours

Calley

dragonette

A posh afternoon tea sounds lovely

For a rose, if there isn't one with a similar name, are there any that are a favourite colour? An old fashioned scented rose? Or one named for an attribute - beauty, joy, hope etc?

I've asked for a rose plant for my bday - but only if they can find a peach rose

elona

Would she enjoy a trip to the theatre, cinema or musical?

My DDs took me to the British Museum, the Tower of London and then to Windsor Castle the next day as a birthday treat and I had a lovely time. I am a bit younger than your mum.

Are there any historic homes near you that would give a guided tour and then a nice lunch?

My youngest dd looked at me as if I had gone bonkers when I saw a sign in York advertising a patchwork museum or exhibition and I said I fancied going

Really think about what interests her - gardening, history, fashion,cookery.

Pyxis

Do you have a local theatre that puts on shows with singers from her era, or at any rate, one she would like? Or a comedy play? Etc.

Or, for example, my local theatre put on a film showing of Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.
Another time it put on a rock 'n' roll show featuring songs from the 50s, which would be her era.

Even if the show is a few weeks away, you could give her the tickets nicely wrapped up!




Or buy her a tandem parachute jump!