Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

onomatopoeia99

WaS your trip sounds lovely, I adore watching sunsets. Hope the weather obliges with a cloud free evening

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you! WaSp wants to use his new to him camera for the first time so I shall post sea pics later!

Ok, we are off! Spare me a thought occasionally please, I'm excited but also scared! See you all this evening!

tea_lover

I am giddy with excitement for you WaS!!

Georgiegirl256

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Thank you! WaSp wants to use his new to him camera for the first time so I shall post sea pics later!
!

Excellent! Will look forward to them! Hope the weather stays good for you, and enjoy those fish and chips! I want some fish and chips now

Pyxis

I've been in bed all day feeling upset and tearful.

A while back I volunteered for a little helping task at the AmDram group. There's a rota of three of us to do it.
Anyway, I think I might be being pushed out of doing this job. It might just be me being terribly sensitive, but one of the people involved was the same person who upset me several months ago, causing me to leave a subgroup. Coincidence? Deja vu? Oversensitivity? Gut feeling says not oversensitivity.

I am so not used to scheming and behind the back stuff. I can't cope with it at all. I don't see the point of it.
I just want to be nice to people and be helpful!


The trouble is, I do know from my own experience and that of others, that some people can develop jealous feelings. I'm wondering if it's that. It always amazes me that people might be jealous of me, though, because I really don't think I have anything for people to be jealous of. For years I was poor as a church mouse, never had a car or holidays or anything. Never had a loving partner etc. etc. Am not particularly good -looking, don't have a nice figure and have horrid legs! Plus I'm ill a lot! But is it a coincidence that I've just had three holidays in rather quick succession and then this happens? Dunno why that should provoke jealousy, because materially she already has a lot more than me.
It seems that this person always wants/suggests the opposite of what I do......minor things, to do with the group, nothing important as such. And then tries to smooth things with a Uriah Heap smile and a platitude.
Trouble is this person is going through a bad time with a lot of upheaval, divorce etc., so underneath she may be scared and angry.

I still feel really bad because someone else is now involved as well. I don't take criticism at all well, let alone unwarranted criticism, and I always make sure I word things politely and unconfrontationally.

This will pass, I know it will, but in the meantime I've curled up into a ball and reverted to being a foetus.

calleyw

Evening my lovelies,

Feeling sorry for myself the last few days. I have called in sick for 3 days. Now the work is over.

My new meds are messing with my sleep among other things.

The meds seem to stop the anxiety but not the ideas from popping in my head in the first place. Still think I have done some bad. And can't shake the feeling.

Still binge eating and spent most of today sleeping on the sofa.

WaS hope you have a nice time. Pyxis hugs, squishes. I know how you feel.

I have got 4 estate agents coming in to value the house over the next 2 days and I have hardly touched anything to tidy it up :eek:

Will wander out to the kitchen in a while and do a couple of bits and pieces and keep doing that every so often.

Hugs, squishes and handshakes for all who need them. I bought a yard a jaffa cakes today in tescos for £2 so will bung them in the fort.

Yours

Calley

elsien

Pyxis wrote: »

I've been in bed all day feeling upset and tearful.

A while back I volunteered for a little helping task at the AmDram group. There's a rota of three of us to do it.
Anyway, I think I might be being pushed out of doing this job. It might just be me being terribly sensitive, but one of the people involved was the same person who upset me several months ago, causing me to leave a subgroup. Coincidence? Deja vu? Oversensitivity? Gut feeling says not oversensitivity. Can they push you, if you just carry on doing it? Or is it more that you think it may be better to drop out than put up with negativity and hassle?

I am so not used to scheming and behind the back stuff. I can't cope with it at all. I don't see the point of it.
I just want to be nice to people and be helpful! Best way to be, I find - take people at face value until they prove otherwise. Ok, sometimes you might get people wrong, but rather that than being permanently suspicious of everyone's motives, which just isn't a nice way to live.

The trouble is, I do know from my own experience and that of others, that some people can develop jealous feelings. I'm wondering if it's that. It always amazes me that people might be jealous of me, though, because I really don't think I have anything for people to be jealous of. For years I was poor as a church mouse, never had a car or holidays or anything. Never had a loving partner etc. etc. Am not particularly good -looking, don't have a nice figure and have horrid legs! Plus I'm ill a lot! But is it a coincidence that I've just had three holidays in rather quick succession and then this happens? Dunno why that should provoke jealousy, because materially she already has a lot more than me.
It seems that this person always wants/suggests the opposite of what I do......minor things, to do with the group, nothing important as such. And then tries to smooth things with a Uriah Heap smile and a platitude.
Trouble is this person is going through a bad time with a lot of upheaval, divorce etc., so underneath she may be scared and angry. Doesn't give her the right to be playing games with anyone though, whatever is happening. Her feelings don't take priority over yours. Is there anyone else in the group you trust enough to talk this through with and get a second opinion about what's happening? Is it possible to let the small stuff go and stand your ground on things that matter more to you? You might not be able to change what she's doing, but changing your reaction to it may make it more bearable, although that's far more easily said than done, I know.

I still feel really bad because someone else is now involved as well. I don't take criticism at all well, let alone unwarranted criticism, and I always make sure I word things politely and unconfrontationally. How are your assertiveness skills? Maybe you need to politely and unconfrontationally tell her where to stick her suggestions!

This will pass, I know it will, but in the meantime I've curled up into a ball and reverted to being a foetus.

Sorry it's made you feel so bad, code. I've stuck my twopenny worth in above, for what it's worth.

In other news, ER has finally been sectioned after a day at A+E. Family feel terrible, but agree it was necessary as there may now be some answers and a bit of help further down the line.

My work hasn't gone great today, but that's more to do with Gitdog being a pillock when I'm working from home than anything actually work related. He's been playing percussion on the wine rack all day, little so-and-so.

Edit - sorry Calley, crossposted, wasn't ignoring you. Hope things get better as you get more used to the meds. Are you looking to sell up, or just getting the house valued? Must have missed it if you've mentioned it before.

Pyxis

Thanks Elsien. Very valid points.

I don't really think they can push me out, particularly as we're constantly being asked to volunteer for doing helping stuff. It's just not very nice to feel ganged up on again, involving the same person! And now someone else! She seems to have influence over people.

However, I want to carrying on doing this thing, even more now! I just crumple at any sign of confrontation, especially when it's so unnecessary. Makes me feel awful. It's just that if they keep arranging the rota so that I have less to do, it'll be very obvious.

Yes. Take people at face value. Now, though, with her, I'm suspicious of everything!


Yes, I have been letting small stuff go. There's another subgroup we're both in, and I keep shtum in that now, after there was a snide remark in response to a suggestion I made.
There is someone there I could talk to, who has also been on the receiving end of being excluded by this person. We are sisters in conflict!

Not very good at assertiveness stuff, especially when I'm upset. I'm better than I used to be, and if I have the chance to play things out in my head first, I'm a bit better. Really, really don't like it, though. Really out of my comfort zone.

Thanks for the help. That alone helps.

Georgiegirl256

Pyxis wrote: »

I've been in bed all day feeling upset and tearful.

A while back I volunteered for a little helping task at the AmDram group. There's a rota of three of us to do it.
Anyway, I think I might be being pushed out of doing this job. It might just be me being terribly sensitive, but one of the people involved was the same person who upset me several months ago, causing me to leave a subgroup. Coincidence? Deja vu? Oversensitivity? Gut feeling says not oversensitivity.

I am so not used to scheming and behind the back stuff. I can't cope with it at all. I don't see the point of it.
I just want to be nice to people and be helpful!

It seems that this person always wants/suggests the opposite of what I do......minor things, to do with the group, nothing important as such. And then tries to smooth things with a Uriah Heap smile and a platitude.
Trouble is this person is going through a bad time with a lot of upheaval, divorce etc., so underneath she may be scared and angry.

I still feel really bad because someone else is now involved as well. I don't take criticism at all well, let alone unwarranted criticism, and I always make sure I word things politely and unconfrontationally.

You are so lovely, kind and helpful, putting others before yourself, but maybe it's time to put yourself first. Maybe she is going through a bad time, but that doesn't give her the right to treat other people liked carp. Think about yourself first and foremost and not her.

It seems like this woman just feels she needs to be top dog, but really, it seems she needs to be put in her place....politely (of course ) but firmly. Does she have any authority of you or others? If not, then she has no right to try and force anyone out of anything. Maybe have a word with her or the person who is in charge.

Hugs x x

calleyw

elsien wrote: »

Edit - sorry Calley, crossposted, wasn't ignoring you. Hope things get better as you get more used to the meds. Are you looking to sell up, or just getting the house valued? Must have missed it if you've mentioned it before.

Elsien,

Getting it valued for capital gains tax purposes. As its going to be put in my name and husband has not lived here since may 2012.

We don't think there is a bill to pay but I want valuations to make it easier for him to show that if there is tax due.

Yours

Calley