House Guest staying longer

Catpuss66

I have an uncle in similar , circumstances, except his is a family, he does get rent so he says.......

Have you thought that social services may be looking for her in regards to the safety of the baby.
Hypothetically the baby could be on the "at risk register" due to dodgy boyfriend, so they both have hatched a plan for her and the baby to dissapear until things settle down. This could put you in a difficult position with the police and social services , they become very concerned when there are more the 10 yrs age gap from an abuse point of view. Vulnerable young women living isolated with much older man who is financially supporting her!

These things are happening all the time, out of interest is your cousin male or female, how do they know her?
You could ring the local G.P and they could get the local health visitor to do a background check. You are allowing your loneliness to put you in a very difficult situation, please be very careful.

moneyistooshorttomention

Catpuss66 wrote: »

These things are happening all the time, out of interest is your cousin male or female, how do they know her?

You are allowing your loneliness to put you in a very difficult situation, please be very careful

I'm also wondering just how come the cousin got involved - and then went off and left the girl & baby here.

Re the "loneliness" aspect - if this is what is happening here - ie OP is basically helping the girl out of loneliness - then its understandable. BUT...its an analogous situation to middle-aged British women taking off for sunsoaked holidays and having some attractive young man there convincing them that he really loves them/yes honestly and bleeding them for all sorts of money. Every time - I look at the photo of the woman and the photo of the man and think "In your dreams woman - he doesn't really want you. He wants what you represent - money/passport". I do understand a (very) few of these relationships are real....but I think most women in that situation are clearly deluding themselves that they are wanted for themselves (even if its entirely understandable why they would feel that way).

Mind you - not just women. I know a man (older/unfit/broke) who recently fell for the spiel of a person online that said they were young/attractive/female/etc/etc. Fortunately for him daylight did eventually dawn and I don't think he would have lost that much.

Its all too easy to see what we want to see - rather than what is really there to be seen.

In OP's case - he is seeing someone who is a friend etc etc by the sound of it. But I doubt that is the case personally.

I still think this girl is deliberately hiding out in the "back of beyond". As someone who now lives much more "back of beyondwards" than I did - a remoter area is actually often the worst possible place to hide (ie because the locals 20 miles away probably know what you had for breakfast basically....).

Jhoney_2

Are her parents taking any active role in their daughter's care and their grandchild's wellbeing? I would have thought them being in the UK they would at least want to see them.

Noone is too remote for the police,immigration etc to find you - and these days, so can anyone else should they be motivated to make the effort. I sincerely hope OP knows what he is doing.

Whilst I do not think there is anything sinister in what he is doing, 37 year olds of either gender, do not hang around with 19 year olds.

Wanting company? so what! Take up a hobby, invite your friends around, join a group/club etc.

Want to save beer/taxi money? Buy and take home a 6pack or shop online (they deliver you know).

OP solution - well no need for a recap.

NO, it is not understandable, It is irrational, kind and more than a little bit dangerous. There are better ways to not be lonely and much better ways to be kind.

Penguin_Biscuit

Sorry had problems posting

Penguin_Biscuit

OK. Very annoying - have to re-write my post!

Firstly, there is no ''trafficking'', ''controlling'' ''abuse'' or anything else like that. People have gone way off topic with that.

I have spoken to my house guest again. She is a Slovakian Citizen. She is not an illegal immigrant, did not hide in the back of a lorry and does not work for the KGB either.

The baby is fine. Not neglected. Born and registered in hospital. Had immunisations, baby check etc. Registered as temporary patients at my cousin's address. There are even doctors and nurses outside the cities now - amazing, I know.

I do not ''hang out'' with 19 year olds or anyone else.
I do not go on holiday looking for younger girlfriends.
I did not go searching for a girl ''more than 10 years'' younger than me, for company.
(Are the above illegal now? Sorry I didn't know that)

I have spoken to my house guest again. She is planning to move out to somewhere near my cousin soon. Once my cousin has a bit more time to help her. We have both been busy recently.

The ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend. Isn't really interested in my guest or their baby. He will certainly not be tracking her down and stalking her etc. It sounds more like she will need to chase him for money (if he has any).

So that's it really. Nothing very exciting. No need for any dawn raids by social services, to rescue my house guest and whisk her back to the big city for her own good.

I think some posters on here have a bit of a wild imagination. Perhaps they watch too much TV?

warehouse

Penguin_Biscuit wrote: »

I think some posters on here have a bit of a wild imagination. Perhaps they watch too much TV?

Nail on the head.

Mojisola

As she came here as a child, are her parents still in the UK?

RAS

Thanks

Unfortunately as an EU citizen she only has the right to reside in the UK if she is working or seeking to work (with 3 months in which to get employment).
And in order to gain any benefits she will have to pass the Habitual Residency Test

marksoton

Whilst some have been a bit sensationalist OP this will only end one way. Badly. The question is for whom...

Penguin_Biscuit

marksoton wrote: »

Whilst some have been a bit sensationalist OP this will only end one way. Badly. The question is for whom...

I'm not sure what you mean.
I think it went ''badly'' for this girl when her boyfriend ditched her and their baby for someone else.