Children pleading for expensive things

carmina_piranha

My 19 year old said last night that he envies my teenage years where a relationship wasn't 24/7 with constant texting, etc.

He was gobsmacked though when I told him that I used a phone box to call my boyfriend (he was posh, he had a phone) at a pre-arranged time

carmina_piranha

How much is 1GB of data? Cost-wise, I mean.

I was going to say if you were spending £10 each month anyway, the tesco £7.50 plan is cheaper, mine is capped at £2.50 in extras per month. The phones aren't flashy, but are good enough for me. Having said that, it's only 500MB of data. That's enough for me, I use the wifi at home mostly, and work has free wifi.

jrtfan wrote: »

Fortunately, my 12 yo son isn't bothered about labels either. Technology has been the main bug-bear; I didn't allow him any during his primary school years, whereas many or most of his classmates had things like an X-box, PS2, iPads, Kindles and similar from as early as 6 or 7 years old. When he started at seniors, I bought him a laptop to use for his research and his homework. He also has an entry-level Samsung Galaxy phone which he uses mainly for playing games such as Roblox and Minecraft (I can't see the fascination, myself, but his age group seems to be obsessed with them!). What he always nags me for is to buy more mobile data because these games gobble it up like there's no tomorrow (1Gb lasts him 4 or 5 days, only). But I'll buy him a £10 bundle once each month and when that's gone, he has to wait until the following month to get more.

The other thing for which the phone comes in useful, and which links in with the question of kids taking phones in to school, is to pay for his bus fare to/from school because I can pre-load his account and his phone has an app which allows him to use the phone on the bus a bit like an Oyster card, so that the appropriate fare is deducted for each trip. It works out cheaper than the travel pass I bought for him last year for £200, because he had so many lifts from friends' parents that I think he only used the pass for the equivalent of 3.5 weeks in the end - therefore each one-way journey he actually made on the bus worked out at around £11... Not doing that again.

FBaby

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

There has to be a line drawn somewhere, but if a Hollister top or two helps a child feel part of a system and the parents can afford it, then that's caring parenting in my book. Developing a weekly brand shopping habit is something else entirely!

I agree with your view on the issue but not on how to deal with it. I don't think it is caring parenting to teach children that to avoid being bullied they should join the mass. I too faced being teased as a child who didn't fit in and moved to new schools in year but I had parents who made me see that I was a great person the way I was and to my surprise I never had problems making friends.

I really do believe that people young or older are attracted must by people who are themselves and accept others for who they are. Neither my children fit in the mould and yet have many friends. I'm so relieved they are comfortable with who they are and don't feel they need to wear a particular brand to be accepted.

missbiggles1

carmina_piranha wrote: »

My 19 year old said last night that he envies my teenage years where a relationship wasn't 24/7 with constant texting, etc.

He was gobsmacked though when I told him that I used a phone box to call my boyfriend (he was posh, he had a phone) at a pre-arranged time

Neither my boyfriend nor I had phones and we really had to phone at set times as we were calling between 2 local phone boxes!

Hermia

Alikay wrote: »

It is of course developmentally normal for teens to want to fit in with everyone else in their clique. Even the ones who make a point of being "different" usually do to fit in with an artistic/punk/goth crew (which theses days may be online rather than in school). There are odd ones who skip the development stage, just the same as there are babies who walk without going through the crawling stage. Needing to identify with peer groups is not a sign of weakness - just a normal stage most kids go through.

I think it is normal for kids to want to fit in. I think what has changed in recent years is the brands thing. I was at school in the early 80s and it was important that you had a certain look, but how you achieved that look was not so important. In fact I don't remember people even asking what brands you were wearing. My mum said it was the same in the 60s. You had to have a certain look, but again how you achieved it didn't matter. I only remember hearing kids talking about brands when I was leaving school in the late 80s.

Alikay

Hermia wrote: »

I only remember hearing kids talking about brands when I was leaving school in the late 80s.

There was certainly less choice of all products, clothes included, but cool brands DID exist. I longed for a pair of particular jeans back in 1976 (Chris Soames, if anyone remembers them?), but had to make do with some from Littlewoods children's dept as I was so small for my age. DH spent all his Christmas and birthday money on Wrangler jacket too.

Just because a teenager might be seen wearing a trendy branded item doesn't necessarily mean their parents have indulged them...they may have saved their pocket money, or doing a paper round to earn enough to buy it - I know my kids did!

Hermia

Alikay wrote: »

There was certainly less choice of all products, clothes included, but cool brands DID exist. I longed for a pair of particular jeans back in 1976 (Chris Soames, if anyone remembers them?), but had to make do with some from Littlewoods children's dept as I was so small for my age. DH spent all his Christmas and birthday money on Wrangler jacket too.

Maybe it was because I grew up in a poor area, but I don't think we could have really have named many brands. I remember my mum saying that when she was young she was vaguely aware that rich London people went to certain shops, but it had nothing to do with her life. I think it was the same when I was young in the 80s. I don't remember my town having any branded stuff, it was all C&A and local clothes shops. One thing I do think there was less of back then was brands being pushed in teen mags. I found some old Just Seventeens in my parent's attic and there were no designer brands in it. I was really shocked when my friend's daughter had a really young teen magazine with a feature on designer handbags in it!

Janepig

I think the fitting in thing was why I loved wearing a uniform when I got to comp - we didn't have a uniform at junior school and even though I just wanted to wear jeans like everyone else my mother wasn't willing - heartbreaking :cool:.

School uniform was made cool by wearing the tie on the narrow side with the point tucked inside the tie (still waiting for that trend to return ), shirt with thin pointy collars and a short(ish) skirt. Happy times :cool:.

Jx

Spendless

missbiggles1 wrote: »

That's assuming there was a phone at home, which wasn't the case for many people when I was growing up.

I also think that many people travelled further to school in those days because you had to go a distance to get to a grammar school.

Admittedly I was thinking of my own Secondary school years. My parents didn't have a phone in their home until I was 12. Grammar schools had ceased to exist here by then and my parents didn't pass the 11+, but my Grandmother did and was the only child from her Primary school to do so. I think she used to walk home with one other child, who was the only one who lived nearby.

AubreyMac

My niece got an ipad for her 10th birthday.


It is an excessive expense, but as she is an only child we, as a family, felt it was needed as it kept her entertained and the novelty has still not worn off (she's 14 now).


A friend of mine has a new baby, she and her husband is very financially comfortable and can afford all sorts of luxuries. For her baby she has taken any hand-me-downs she can get and buys things she needs 2nd hand from ebay. Her thinking is that babies grow out of things very quickly anyway and the baby doesn't know any different.