I Need A New Me

RosaBernicia

Tink, I'm so sorry you are in such a stressful situation - I hope that it improves but also that you can get out quickly. Very glad to hear you have potential options with the council and fingers crossed for you. I'm sure they will be able to understand the situation with you starting a new job - and it ought to be a bonus as you will be a responsible tenant . Also, congratulations on having brought up a lovely sensitive and sensible daughter.

I'm also glad you found this place before you've had to jump - because as you can see, it's full of good advice to hopefully make things a little easier!


Big hugs
Rosa xx

Tinkerbelle2000

RosaBernicia wrote: »

Tink, I'm so sorry you are in such a stressful situation - I hope that it improves but also that you can get out quickly. Very glad to hear you have potential options with the council and fingers crossed for you. I'm sure they will be able to understand the situation with you starting a new job - and it ought to be a bonus as you will be a responsible tenant . Also, congratulations on having brought up a lovely sensitive and sensible daughter.

I'm also glad you found this place before you've had to jump - because as you can see, it's full of good advice to hopefully make things a little easier!


Big hugs
Rosa xx

Hi Rosa

I don't know where I would have been without all you lovely people. You all certainly are a god send. Sending huge hugs to each and everyone of you.

Hopefully I can get this diary back to my debts in the next couple of weeks as I will also be paying all the bills again:eek:.

Thank you for the support, all of you.

Much love.

Tink xx

bellevie

Hi Tinkerbelle,

I am sorry to see what's happened. You've done well to cope as long as you have so I don't think anyone could ever blame you for leaving. There is only so much you can take.

Good to see the steps you have taken so far.

I work in social housing I can tell you that councils vary from one area to another quite drastically in terms of allocations of properties.

Most council do now have a 'deposit' or 'guarantee' scheme to alleviate the pressure off the waiting lists. Renting privately will also give you more choice as to where you settle, though in some areas it can be a lot more expensive. You would get help from housing benefit anyway, which would make it affordable once its all rolling.

If the council house you, you may move into temporary housing which again varies from town to town, keep in mind it is a stop gap, a place to sleep safely at night until the right property comes up.

Do you have your own bank account? Will you be able to keep money aside once you start getting paid? Do you get any tax credits, child benefit? Do they go into your account or a joint account?

Its worth registering with a few agencies, as their fees will differ quite a lot.

If you are on Facebook, some towns have a community page, you could also post there to see if there are any private landlords not going through agencies, could save some money.

http://www.helptobuy.org.uk/equity-loan/find-helptobuy-agent some area's have a lot of 'affordable' rent properties - and some housing associations will let you apply direct. My town unfortunately doesn't have any affordable rent but I know 45 minutes down the road there a lots, so if you are on the border of towns could be worth checking both areas. They tend to be a little but higher than council rents, but lower than private rental and fees (if any) are usually lower.

https://www.turn2us.org.uk/ (use the benefit calculator) is also a very good site, to give you an idea of the help you may be entitled to - it covers housing benefit & tax credits as well as other out of work benefits.

Keep going, as soon as work starts you will be out of the house more which will help things.

Bellevie

MuffinTops

Hello Tinks,

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. What an awful way to live, one I've been in too so I do understand.

You are doing all of the right things, so don't ever doubt yourself. You're doing a great job in dealing with this.

I really hope the Council are able to come through for you quickly, in one way or another. With your new job starting, it sounds like you are really at a corner, just waiting to turn it, for your life to just explode in the best way for you and your daughter. Just keep moving, you will get there.

Sending much love.

MTxx

catriona79

Hello Tink,

I'm sorry to read about your situation. It is awful to be with an emotionally abusive partner. I have been there too, and only got out a couple of months ago. It was always up and down and treading on eggshells. So I recognise the symptoms in what you're describing. The mood swings, the insecurity.

Going on experience, I promise you that you will be much happier when you get out. You may be lonely at times, though you do have your daughter for company. But even through the periodical loneliness, you will be able to see how level and quietly happy your life becomes without the constant drama.

It's a tough decision to take, but essentially, the only way out of it is through it.

You strike me as a solid, reliable and independent person. You will be ok with your finances. It will be tough at times, but you will only need to think of feeling alienated and hiding in your daughter's room, and you will know.

Sending love x x

moneyonmymindsam

Hope work is good and things are a little better


xx

kirtsypoos

Hi Tink,

Just wanted to say hi, hoping things have improved for you

K x

MuffinTops

Hello Tinks,

Just popping in to see how you're doing. I'm so sorry to hear that things are still rough. I hope you've managed to find some help from somewhere and are feeling ok in yourself.

MTx

catriona79

Hey Tink,

Just a quick post to ask you how things are going? Are you keeping that chin up? X

RosaBernicia

Also just popping by to see how you are...

... brought virtual cookies in case that helps.


Rosa xx